She comes from nowhere. YOU'VE GOT THE WORLD ON ITS KNEES YOU'RE TAKING ALL THAT YOU PLEASE |
Spelling/grammar/prose - You write beautifully, and overall it was a really good post :D I love your descriptions of Arah and the weather, and it flowed really well. I always say that one of the easiest ways to get points in a judging rubric is to just maintain a good standard of grammar/spelling throughout, and you did well on this, but I did notice a few typos (nothing major, just some small things):
'The doe’s efforts are focused on resisting against the wind that blasted her from behind, its strength threatening to blow her away' - its
'she’s aware of her slippery it can be' - did you mean 'how' slippery it can be?
'she was sure to loose' - lose
'change her course and begin charing towards the figure' - charging
'giving her a more secure her footing.'
Try to cut out as many of these as you can, and you should score highly in the prose section :)
Emotion - I loved her reaction when she thought it was Tyra, as well as Wynter's emotions. You write her feelings beautifully, and I got a good feel of her all the way through the post.
Attacks - Your attacks were clear, easy to understand, and well described, which is great! You also didn't over-attack, which is good. Overmoving can be an easy trap to fall into, but I always think one or two attacks is the best way to go, as well as using a companion.
Just one thing, though: 'The barbs on her antlers will rip through his flesh and muscles, tearing tissue away from bone' - be careful with sentences like these. Although you mentioned attempt/aim etc in the surrounding sentences, at a glance this sentence can appear to be a GM/PP, as it seems to assume that the attack hits. You don't want to give the judge a reason to deduct, so be careful to put in words like tried etc :)
Damage taken - N/A
Other - You did well mentioning how slippery the snow can be and her reaction to it, but you could also incorporate the lack of visibility due to the heavy blizzard.
She mentions Vol's size, however you can go deeper into this and really mention the differences between them. Rather than looking at their battle stats, go to their profiles and look at their base stats (speed, strength etc) to compare them. So Vol is: Strength 9, Speed 5, Agility 6, Endurance 6. Arah is Strength 2, Speed 4, Agility 4, Endurance 10. As you can see, although it would be a natural assumption that Arah is smaller and therefore more agile/fast than Vol, this actually isn't the case. You could have her remark on his superior strength etc, but also muse on the fact that her stamina far outstrips his, so that she won't tire as fast as him :D Observations like this should earn you points in the rubric.
Overall this was a solid fight post, just watch out for accidental PP/GM and typos c:
[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]