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YOU'VE GOT THE WORLD ON ITS KNEES YOU'RE TAKING ALL THAT YOU PLEASE |
Spelling/grammar/prose - A couple more typos:
'and he does not have to speed to entirely escape her either' - 'the' speed
' For the sheer volume and brutally that was within the roar' - brutality
'Wynter swoops high once and again she aims from the brute,' - for the
But aside from those, I understood what you meant and I enjoyed reading your posts, so didn't find any real issues in this area :D
Emotion - This has been consistently strong throughout, so great job! I had no problem understanding why Arah was feeling the way she was, and you wrote it all well!
Attacks - I love her using her magic on Verzes! Both attacks were clear and concise, although Wynter's attack doesn't specify which shoulder she is attacking so make sure to include this in future fights :D
Damage taken - Vol rolled a 5 damage, which is pretty much the second highest damage you can roll. Added to his high damage stat of 8, you should be looking to take some fairly extensive damage from such a roll. This is the chart I usually use to decide how to take damage:
1: Very minor bruise/cut that won't impact movement
2: Reasonably minor bruise/cut that won't impact movement
3: Quite painful bruise/cut that won't impact movement/maybe a pulled muscle
4: Moderate bruise that restricts some movement/reasonably deep cut/badly pulled muscle/sprain
5: Severe bruise that restricts movement/muscle-deep cut/maybe a very minor bone fracture/serious sprain
6: Very severe bruise that will restrict movement/severe muscle-deep cut/broken or fractured bone
Then I adjust for my opponent's damage stat, so say their damage stat was 3, I'd take less damage from a 4 dice roll than I would if a character with a stat of 8 rolled that. So from Arah's three 5 rolls, I've taken a deep cut to his side, a deep movement-affecting bruise, and deep cuts to his left shoulder. If her damage stat was higher I'd maybe have taken a bone fracture or something from these rolls.
Given this, I don't think you took quite enough damage to fit the roll :( Vol basically had 4 attacks in his post: he attempted to reverse into her and push her over, he used his Battle Cry rank power, Verzes attacked her face, and Vadir attacked Wynter.
For the reverse attack, you acknowledge it: 'The suddenness of his movements is almost able to throw her off balance. The beast suddenly reverses, he is close enough to knock her over with his rump and prevent the attack, only does not quite manage the feat' but don't actually explain WHY it doesn't succeed. Did she hobble backwards and return to all fours? Did she slide to the side to avoid it? When dodging attacks, you need to explain HOW you dodged it, not just act like it missed or you could get a realism and PP deduction :c
You reacted to the Battle Cry attack well, which was great! Then for Verzes' attack you say: 'The red's savage claws plunge into her neck while his freezing breath freezes along her neck, just below her hair line'. It's good that you took the damage but it's not clear how much damage was done - did his claws create deep cuts or shallow ones? Did his frost breath cause extensive damage or just a small surface level amount of freezing? Try to be more specific when taking damage so the judge knows exactly what injuries you have :)
Finally, you did well having Wynter take the flame damage to her tail, but this is only a relatively small amount of damage. Combined with the unspecified amount of damage to her neck, I'd say you took maybe a 3 dice roll's worth of damage. It's harder to judge because it's spread across more than one attack, but if I was you I'd have maybe had her become unbalanced by his reversing, have the Battle Cry shake her resolve and cause Verzes' attack to create thick, deep cuts to her neck that restrict her movement (as for a 5 dice roll from an 8 damage opponent, you really need to be taking wounds that will impact you throughout the fight), then avoided the flame attack altogether.
So you did well reacting to some of the attacks, but I don't think the combined damage was quite enough to fit the dice roll :)
Other - Thanks for the fight Frostie! :D
[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]
