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There's something sheepish about the mare's posture as she glides into the gathering like a silver wraith. She has been racked with guilt recently, ever since the argument with Rexanna at the end of a similar one of these meetings. Try as she might, she is unable to shake the embedded sense of shame at her actions and words, at the way she'd used things told in confidence as weapons to harm a woman who, truthfully, had done her no wrong.
She feels terrible - more than terrible. That, coupled with the recent loss of Arakh and Esinakh to the grasp of the Throat, means that Nyx's mood is lower than it has been in quite a long time. Empty nest syndrome, it's probably called. She feels pointless, useless. She knows that she should be doing things around the herd, sparring or recruiting, yet she simply cannot bring herself to when she's so depressed. When the ironheart isn't thinking about her children, she's thinking about poor Rexanna - and the word poor is not one she would have applied to the golden mare before their meeting. Dammit, the shame is all-consuming, and Nyx can hardly stop thinking about it. For all her flaws, she likes to think that she is A Good Woman overall, not one who causes harm for harm's sake. She pauses before Kisamoa, listening to what he's saying. Gather bones, get rid of trees, generally clean up Helovia...there's a certain irony to that, thinks Nyx with a humourless smile. She has never felt more filthy, yet she has been asked to apply her strength to what seems like a thankless task. Still, perhaps it will help her keep her mind off things, keep her motivated so she doesn't simply wither away to a childless, pointless object. |
Other characters have permission to use magic/violence against Nyx at any time.
