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Shida
Delicate as FUCK
Now, alright. Alriiiiight. We live in an enchanted world of magic, and blah blah blah. I know you're all thinking, Shida, how can you be so surprised? And so i'll tell you. It's one thing to live in a world of fucked up wanna-be superhereos with their lame ass powers, flitting all around, making shit grow, making it die, becoming birds, or lighting things on fire, and it's entirely another motherfucking thing all together to see some ken-doll with a weave suddenly wearin' yo face. And ass. And fucking being you.
So yeah, I get it, magic etcetera. But this shit still isn't okay.
AND ANOTHER THING. Y AIN'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS AS CONCERNED ABOUT THIS AS I AM. I SEE YA'LL SNICKERING AWAY OVER THERE.
Ya'll need to pipe down or else be a helluvalot more upset than you are. For now my sights are set on ... well, me. He addresses me, but the words are in my voice, only they're in a cadence I would never use. He sounds all high and mighty, like he's talking to the queen and should sip tea from a fancy china cup with his baby finger in the air, rather than chumming it in a field with us nobody's, having been given community service by a decaying fish.
He compliments me, and for a moment, I'm inclined to agree. I do look lovely. ON EVERY DAMN DAY I feel like screaming, but instead I just flare my nostrils in a way that isn't particularly flattering. Before I can work my way up to an epically witty retort, that motherfucker starts walking away, and for once I get to see what all the fuss is about.
And let me just take a teensy weensy pause to say ddaaaaaaammmn. Now I know why the boys always love to see my go so much. UNNGG. Badonkadonk.
Alright. Unpause.
"DO I LOOK LIKE A DEARIE TO YOU." Is all I can say. Do I have motherfucking grey in my hair? Am I your grandchild come to visit, and you want to know if I want some fucking tea and cookies, dearie?! I'm still shocked to have seen him use my own magic. Briefly I think about tall, dark and ugly, and wonder if he'd ever porked this facsimile, thinking it was me. "Fucker better not have." I mumble to myself as if Reginald could hear me, before striding across the field towards...well, me.
"This world ain't big enough for two of me, so I suggest you get yourself out of my skins before I show you how to really use that magic."
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[O] we're stripped down to our skeletons again [bone collecting/cleaning]
