It's something of a bitterness, growing in the bottom of my heart, rooted too deep to pull out, clinging to it and crushing it in its grip. And it grows, blooming with deep seeded discontent, a barricade to cage the emotions that are a whirlwind within me. Zhu can do it, Volterra can do it, Colt can do it, why not I? My heart does not protest, I do not protest, letting the distance grow, letting my emotions slip farther and farther away from me, feeling my temperature drop and my features run hollow as I pick my way across Helovia. The coldness sets in as I realize that no one has cared, no one will ever care (why trust them? Why believe in them? They'll only let you down), that I am so deeply alone in this world, and nothing will change that. So who else to believe in, to trust? Only myself. I rise above, I reevaluate myself, recalculate my ambitions— what do I want from the world, from myself?

I rethink it all, question what more I can do, what I can strive to become when the world is refusing to show me a way (at least Mother had a predetermined path for me to tread, I must start anew in her absence), so I must forge it with my own two hands. My starting point is here, when the realization finally comes that I must do things for myself, that only I can rely on myself to get shit done (besides, a king cannot look for help from anyone but himself). And I first begin with something I had recognized early on, acknowledging and accepting a need I cannot refuse, masking it with an innocence I will never have. I erase my name, erase who I was— this is who I am now, new and clean, a blank slate to destroy with soiled hands and heart, endlessly craving forbidden touches, desiring attention and grand endeavors, creeping into high positions with a daunting mask over my macabre features. I will rule, whether it is just a single body sweaty and hulking over my own, or an entire land at my hooves, bowing to every whim, I will make it.

I need to test it, need to feel the syllables roll from my tongue, to see how it feels to be someone I am not, to taste the soured innocence get put to use in a real situation. It's something I caught in a dream, a lurking memory so far from the forefront of my mind that I have almost forgotten it ever happened at all. A grand king in golden garments, poised and powerful in the way he stands over the world, looming over it with a deceptive grin plastered across cold features. The image burns itself into my mind, carved deep as I imagine myself in that place, thinking of myself as the mighty dictator with a booming voice and haunting stare.

The Blood Falls is where I end up, wandering aimlessly with my brows knit and body itching for the familiar touch of a stallion, the lingering wisps of hot breath rolling down my neck as he makes his way over my body— I know what I must do, my first step, a test of sorts, a beneficial experiment to allow myself to get familiar with who I'll become now, with a silver tongue and sharp eye (ironic considering my childhood inability to see jack shit), to feel the name roll of my tongue as I begin to weave my web of lies.

And there is a body, black and purple and perfect, calling out to me with a swooping leonine tail fringed in icy blue, horn gracing the onyx brow and thick build beckoning me over. I watch quietly, bubblegum focused intently on the way he admires himself in the ruby reflection, freezing at a sudden snap. Go time.

My stride is confident, cocky, casual (the three C's of being Me)— hips swing delicately, effeminate but effective as I pick my way towards him, a blank but needy expression trailing over my macabre features. The corners of my lips twitch, curling upwards in a subtle smirk as I look towards the source of the sound. I look at the man standing at the water's edge, taking in the purple hued hide blanketing the shapely figure, admiring the way he looks as I get closer (not too close, Kid) "And why are we so jumpy?" It's a gentle tease, a soft and playful prod at the midnight stallion, giving my best attempt to spark up a conversation (helloooo there, stranger, in need of some company?). I'm taking the first steps to reinventing who I am, who I will be, redefining myself with my heart beating with excitement and thighs burning with anticipation.

"Talk."

kid

run my reputation.