She came, with everyone - seeking out Naerys and Iona but mentally picking out every face that she knew around Helovia and noting their location. It seemed like everyone was here. She shifted uneasily with the rest when Kaos demanded they move through the portal he had created.

Miykael moved towards them, distracting her, and she greeted him softly, her worry clear in her green eyes. What had they gotten themselves into this time? She realized then that she hadn’t told him yet that he was going to be a father again, but this didn’t seem to be the time to do so. For a moment, she naively thought that she would get another chance. When he moved to hug her, she accepted willingly - finding comfort in his presence and his scent in the way she used to. The way he could calm her down with just one touch - make her not just believe that everything would work out, but know it would. “And I love you.” She responded without question - because she did. Of course she did, that was what had caused all the problems between them. She had always loved him, ever since the first day they met.

He pulled away too soon, moving to speak to Naerys, and it suddenly dawned on Alysanne that he was saying goodbye. “No.” Was her response to his apology, his gifts, her stomach already twisting at the implications. “Don’t you dare, Mikey. Please.” She whispered pleadingly to his back, her legs carrying her forward a few steps to follow him. To stop him. Because, like so much, she thought she knew what he was planning. They were of the same mind on so much - he was surely planning on doing the exact same thing she wanted to do. She wanted to be there with him, add her pair of wings to his to shield all those she loved, all those she will love when she meets them. Her mind was slower than her legs, however, and it took Naerys moving in front of her, forcing her to stop, to remind her that she needed to think about more than this heartbreak.

Because that’s what it was - her green eyes were glued to Miykael, everything else around her was covered in a thick fog - and she could feel her heart breaking. If anyone had been talking to her she wouldn’t have heard them, their voices would be drowned out by the hammering of her heart and the screaming inside her mind. The loss of the Edge was nothing compared to this feeling within her now - to lose her oldest, dearest friend.

There was more that she needed to say to him, more time needed. They had reconciled, sure, in many different ways - including the small comfort they could give each other that led to the child she felt growing within her - but this was too soon.

When he died, the pain within her transcended anything that could have been expressed by a scream. She felt like she was going to collapse, her knees buckled beneath her and it was only the presence of her daughter that kept her on all fours.

The rest of the battle - if it could even be called that - didn’t even register within her mind.

Later, what little left of her heart was left would break when she remembered who else died on this day - Ilios, Parelia, Aaron, Sohalia, Tarik, Ampere, Sacre, Ru, Ophelia, Ghost, Glasgow, Isopia and so many more that she didn’t know the name of but who she would mourn all the same. They all deserved so much more than what she could give them then and there to mourn them - they had all touched her life, improved upon it, in ways that she would never call insignificant. They all meant the world to her and they deserved more than this death at the hands of a coward and a liar.

It wasn’t until she heard the shouting, heard others calling to those they loved and ushering them towards the portal, towards safety and life, that she emerged from the haze. “Naerys.” She whispered as she woke up, unsure if her daughter had been saying anything to her. “Hemlock!” She called to her companion but she didn’t need to, he was scouting over the crowd and using his small wings to shoo everyone that he could forward and into the portal. Alysanne unfurled her own wings and did the same. Though she can still feel herself falling apart, she hasn’t stopped being devoted to her herd and her family just because the Edge - and now Helovia - has faded and gone. She moved quickly, circling around the crowd and whinnying to all those that she can find, anyone that might be looking like they were hesitating about what to do.

She won’t lose anyone else.

There were too many names and faces to list that she was seeking, but she called out to them all. “Everyone let’s move! Forward together!” She used her wings to gently and not-so-gently encourage anyone she could forward to the portal, the one that their gods died to make safe for them.

Alysanne had nothing but blind faith that the world on the other side of the portal would be kinder than this one.

If you could only understand—through my heart and through my veins