Chernobyl

Home would have been something that she admired, had it not been for the sickly graces of her mother, so sick in her damnation. It was like a fleeting comfort across his face and she watched it appear and fade. It was the thought of missing something long lost or the pain of death. On his face, home looked natural, as if it were meant to be there. But she could not empathize, could not pretend to understand. She did not long to return home and in fact considered Helovia to be a new home of sorts. At time she would remember how her mother (on a good day) would tell her stories about how she had grown up. It was nothing like the twisted fairytale she had provided for her own daughter, but it was something that Chernobyl had insisted she live by… at least at the time. Now it seemed that happily-ever-after’s didn’t exist, at least not in her world.

She often wondered how others could pretend otherwise and sometimes the fantasies made her mad, pushed her to insanity to believe that anyone could be so fooled into thinking that somewhere over the rainbow prince or princess charming would be waiting to take them to some far off kingdom where they would live in happiness and peace. Bu alas, this was never the case. Perhaps she had encountered some dry version of Romeo and Juliet. Though she possessed no love or the capacity for such an emotion, she and Murdock had been split by racial difference… Was this some kind of dictatorship? She had aligned herself closely with the Basin for obvious reasons, such as their dark power and arrogant desire to reign, but at times she felt as if those creatures like Murdock had never seen the face of their empire. If just one of them, those supremacists could spend just a bit of time with her explorer, would they see him in a new light?

She was certain they wouldn’t. They had been bred and born of hate and now they were paying for their flaws. However, that didn’t exclude her. She was just as greedy, just as insolent as those she had decided to call family. And she did! She called them family because they were just as lost and demented as she, but a breath of fresh air wouldn’t kill them. After all, she had found a friend in this Pegasus, as wrong or misleading as it might be. “You could never bore me with your fairytales… you’ve painted such a pretty picture in my head that I would be disappointed if you didn’t finish.”

She smiled, lost in the lands of his native youth. Bitter as she was, she thought it okay to dream, okay to desire more than was given. On some level, perhaps one higher than the clouds, she found refuge in this dreamer and his ideas. They inspired her and allowed her to collect a part of her whole that had been left behind. One day she would be able to retrieve all the pieces… and maybe he could help. “In that case, I would be more than delighted to acquire his company. I have many places that I would like to see, many places that have treasures hidden in which we could revel. I suppose all we would need were each other and the desire to find something far greater than this.” She seemed to glance around now, gesturing to the frozen planes of the Arch. There were so many things that she was curious about, including him… he seemed to stir up a part of her mind that was not easily shaken.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away