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DEIMOS | LACE
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By my verdict the fight is a TIE.
DEIMOS -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Aims horn to scrape across side
+ 1| Twists to kick out at Lace's shoulder
+ 1| Good mentioning of battle with Ricochet
[Prose]
+ 1| Easy to read
+ 1| I could feel Deimos' emotion
+ 2| Everything moved in a clear direction, good flow
LACE -- post 1
[Realism]
+ 1| Took injury from Deimos charge, even when dodging
+ 1| Leaping out of the way of Deimos' kick
+ 1| Fire breathing to Deimos' side
+ 1| Kick at Deimos' flank
+ 1| Interesting flashback to the boggart battle
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy read
0| Clear flow, but a few typos
DEIMOS -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Took burn to flank
+ 1| Realistically dodged the kick
- 1| Brushing off the pain of a burn to fully charge at another character seems unrealistic
+ 1| Swinging horn down to slash Lace's shoulder
+ 1| Clever mentioning of Ricochet's exploding dust
[Prose]
+ 1| Easy to read
0| Good emotion, but I had a hard time feeling Deimos
+ 2| Excellent flow with clear transitions
LACE -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Clever way to lessen the blow of Deimos but still realistically take the hit
+ 1| Well aimed kick while still mentioning pain
+ 1| Dodging horn attack but still took a scratch
+ 1| Bite at eye
+ 1| Kick to rear fetlock
[Prose]
+ 2| Beautiful emotion from Lace
+ 1| Easy read
0| Good flow with minor typos - sometimes direction was unclear
DEIMOS -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Slash at Lace's side in half-rear
+ 1| Good avoidance of kick but still took a hit to right knee
+ 1| Avoids damage to eye realistically, but still has some hair loss on cheek
0| Clever way to move hip out of the way, but a mention of the physical deficiency from the burn would make the dodge more realistic
+ 1| Good mention of running out of the fray with a limp from his knee
+ 1| Aim of horn to Lace's middle
[Prose]
+ 1| Good emotion
+ 2| Easy flow
+ 1| Easy read
LACE -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Horn scrape across ribs, avoiding a puncture by leaning
+ 1| Magical, stick spear at Deimos' chest
+ 1| Bite at left hip from nearby
+ 1| Good use of limping
+ 1| Left front leg to Deimos' rear canon
[Prose]
+ 1| Very real, palpable emotion
+ 1| Easy read
0| A little scattered with the flow of the post
DEIMOS -- post 4
[Realism]
- 1| Since Lace took the hit from Deimos' charge, abandoning it is unrealistic
+ 1| Rearing and spinning to avoid the spear
+ 1| Good mention of knee while retaining balance
+ 1| Realistically took bite to hip
0| Mentioning of previous injuries and how they would hinder his movement in escape would have made the avoidance of the hoof to the canon more realistic
+ 1| Magic use at Lace, companion and surrounding trees
[Prose]
+ 2| Much more clear use of Deimos' emotion
+ 1| Good, clear flow
0| Sometimes difficult to follow just what body part is being used
LACE -- post 4
[Realism]
+ 1| Realistically took magical hit
+ 1| Fajira falling, unconcious
+ 1| Aiming to shove hooves into Deimos' back
+ 1| Aiming to bite ear
[Prose]
+ 2| Beautiful emotion
+ 1| Clear, distinct flow
+ 2| Very easy to read
DEIMOS -- post 5 (defense only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Realstically moves to take hit to rump
+ 1| Realistically avoids torn ear in the same movement, but gains injury down poll
DEIMOS
[Bonus]
+ 1| Least injured
+ 1| Mentioning the familiar landscape
+ 2| Mentioning breed
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Never deviated from unique style - true to Deimos' fighting experience
+ 1| Loved the references to the Ricochet battle
Comments: Very good use of style and creative use of words, but during the whole of the fight, Deimos seemed to be written as too overpowered. Burns are some of the most excruciating and painful injuries, and I believe that this was downplayed too much. On occasion, I found your creative use of style difficult when trying to orient position or what limb was being used. However, you had excellent references to previous battles, and a very clean fight.
LACE
[Bonus]
+ 2| Mentioning of breed
+ 2| Mentioning of surroundings
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| "The thud as she landed upon the ground was quiet, too small to fully illustrate the impact it had on the equine who's heart she owned."
Comments: The emotion in your posts was clear, beautiful and palpable. However, some of the typos were hard to look over. I think you should proofread your posts more carefully next time! Orientation was sometimes difficult to understand, but not implausible. I would suggest mapping out your battles to help yourself see where your opponent is and do not be afraid to ask for clarity.
TOTAL
DEIMOS - 86
LACE - 86
[Lace earns no VP and Deimos remains a prisoner of the Edge.]
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[JUDGE] instruments to plague us [challenge for freedom - lace]
