Painful Expectations

Painful Expectations | Zikar-Sin

Zikar-Sin Posts: 78

Hidden Account

Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16hh :: 8

M.E.

01-08-2013, 09:19 PM

Tolio's giggles had a more profound impact on the dappled stallion than one might realize; whether it was a part of Sin's unique, deformed mold of a person or the Gods had found it amusing to throw this odd little twist into the scheme of Reality, it was the case that Sin adored the tones of delight and despair. The reason why is a mystery-- it may have been the result of a traumatic past or perhaps it was Sin's way of relating to a sense that had been forfeit in his creation-- the sense of Emotion. It may also have to do with the parallels between the cries of agony and the laughter of happiness, as they sounded quite alike in Sin's opinion. Whatever the truth may be, Tolio's laughter rang like bell-tones within the void of Sin's breast, radiating and reverberating throughout his very core and creating a contentment so deep, he could listen to it for hours and not mind one bit.

But then the dappled stallion was really floored.

*”Can I call you Sinny?”*

It was such an unexpected question, and as such it coaxed an unexpected reaction; a memory of a tiny little striped thing wandering through the forest depths with nothing but the cry for her mother on her lips and the scent of decay about her. Sin remembered the powerful feeling he had upon seeing her, and learning her name; he remembered that all encompassing obsession for her well-being, how he wanted to keep her safe, to make her happy, to possess her. It was closest thing to love the damned soul would feel, and yet it was not; it was a twisted, corrupted travesty of the emotion, and yet it elicited the same symptoms as genuine love. For instance, it was a rare moment indeed where Sin's mind wasn't ablaze with thoughts and notions and schemes and ideas and dreams; where his consciousness wasn't trying to fill the empty void of the Question that replaced the heart he lacked. And yet here he was, standing in front of this giggling stallion, his mind completely dead. Everything was completely shut down, and Sin was drawing a blank. A voice in the innermost corner of his psyche was telling him how rude he was being to Tolio, standing there gawking at the chestnut stallion with misty eyes, but try as he might Sin couldn't get his cogs a'spinning and his jaws a' working into something coherent.

"Uh...." he stammered, his eyes alive with sincere shock and near-helplessness, "I, uh....." Sin closed his eyes and shook his head a few times, in an attempt at civil conversation and to bury his dreadful faux-pas. He found that if he didn't look at Tolio, it was easier to facilitate a response. "Yes, I suppose you may call me Sinny," he suggested, giving a weak, blind-eyed smile--

Suddenly, Sin's eyes snapped open, and his head whipped to his right, mist floating from his snorting nostrils as his icy, penetrating gaze swept the snowscape around them. It wasn't a thought or a decision that had warranted this reaction-- rather, it was an impulse, something Sin rarely acted by. Even now, as he observed the seemingly empty lands around them, Sin couldn't pinpoint exactly why he had reacted in that fashion. He tried to remember what it was-- the fading impression of a surreal sort of shiver that had wracked his spine only moments ago was fading rapidly, until Sin could no longer remember the sensation. He couldn't see anything different or shifted or out of the ordinary, and he couldn't explain why the snow seemed so dull now, supposedly having seen something pure and brilliant in its visage and nobility. An imprint of a unicorn was stamped on his memory, but as Sin investigated it, he could only see the silhouette of the Nightshade or Elizabeth-- pretty much any other unicorn he had met in his lifetime.

Sin looked at Tolio incredulously, then looked back. "Did you...?" Feel that? See that? What could have Sin asked? He wasn't even sure of the phenomenon's existence. He could have just imagined it, stressed by Tolio's sadness and the weird, unfamiliar things he was making Sin feel. A light film of panic misted over Sin's mind; he was uncomfortable with these feelings, because they weren't certain things. You couldn't contemplate them-- you couldn't figure them out. They are there to feel, not observe, and Sin isn't a stallion of feeling.

*”I have nothing to hide, truly. And you said all the right things. I feel much better now.”*

"I'm very glad to hear it," Sin said distractedly, though he was much more relieved than he let on. Tolio's happiness was a fact, an absolute; something tangible and solid within the spiderwebs of confusion in Sin's mind. And so he clung to it.

He must keep Tolio happy.

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OOC: Sorry about late post, started this twice and lost it both times. Very angry. Still long-winded, though @.@
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IMG Credit: ness094@deviantart.com

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