Chill of the unnatural being, whatever it had been, faded quickly. Tolio was desperate to believe it had truly been Mauja, and therefore blocked out every whisper that tried to say otherwise. If Mauja was still alive, then he had hope. Hope was a dangerous and beautiful thing, all at once. It drove you to lengths a soul should never have to reach, but it also kept you from descending into a pit of depression and succumbing to the disease known as giving up. Hope was a devious little thing that landed softly upon hearts of innocent victims, either strengthening them or breaking down their spirit even further. Hope was what kept sweet mares with mates that would only wish them harm. It was what kept unloved foals trailing behind their families, hoping for a chance at redemption from something they quite possibly did not do. It kept you holding on, gave you a strength that would last seemingly forever. It got you through the worst of times, kept you from giving up. But it also kept you tied down, at times, to a place that would only further rot your soul. That was how Tolio felt. Hope was keeping him in the Basin, in a place where there was no love. He had believed in Mauja, in his ways. Perhaps he was not racist, but he would have done anything for the brute. Hoping for his return, for the ability to change and adapt to the Basin…that was what kept him locked so deeply in the herd. He didn’t know when he would give up, but wasn’t sure if that was the answer. Would it change, to become better? If not, and he finally left…what if Mauja returned? Tolio couldn’t stand the thought of Mauja being disappointed by his apparent lack of loyalty.

Yes, hope was a deadly thing.

It took a few moments for him to collect himself, though it seemed Zikar-Sin was just as disoriented by the appearance of some figure, some kind of ghost. Instead of lingering on philosophical thoughts he concentrated instead on the conversation. Yes, he could drown himself in that. Amicable by nature, talking with others was his specialty. He was simply born and raised to be an outgoing, boyish person. It made him a bit childish, but lately he’d noticed that it had been stamped efficiently out of him. With the troubles he had encountered, he had been unable to enjoy his fun loving, eccentric, naïve side. As if permanently stuck in the steely persona hidden deep beneath his seemingly weak exterior.

Zikar-Sin spoke then, and Tolio chided himself for again getting lost in thoughts. It was strange that he could not seem to look him in the face while they spoke, but Tolio remained smiling and encouraging so that the other stallion could see that he didn’t mind at all. Hoping to comfort him somehow. He chose his words with care, weighing them carefully and licking his lips slightly before speaking. An earnest smile softened Tolio’s face as joy and gratitude shone out of his visage. Zikar-Sin was a rare treasure in the Basin, and Tolio was almost unwilling to share him with the frigidity of the other members. He wanted Zikar-Sin and his kind, beautiful words to only be around him. If the other unicorn were ever to change, Tolio would be heartbroken. ”Thank you, Sinny. It does seem to be the latest trend, doesn’t it? I’m afraid my face isn’t suited for them, it slips off too frequently,” eyes twinkling as he giggled, playing along. Zikar-Sin made him laugh, and he liked that. Although he was finding that the movement he’d been keeping up had stilled with his appearance, and Tolio’s slim body was starting to shake to remind him that his temperature was slowly dropping.

Zikar-Sin seemed to feel the same way for he motion with his body to walk alongside him. Tolio tensed a bit and the same wistful sadness appeared briefly on his face when Mauja’s name fell from Sin’s lips. Quickly following the other man as he began to walk, though their sides were a bit close. Tolio didn’t really understand personal space. Tolio took a deep breath. Inhaled the scent of Zikar-Sin, strong and almost woody. The sharp, unforgiving cold of the snow that surrounded them, thankfully free of blizzards for the time being. And with a soft breath exhaled, letting a smile return to his face. Instead of focusing on the horrible despair he felt with Mauja’s absence, he would direct his attention to the immense pride he felt. The emotions he remembered feeling when they’d first met, how Mauja had quickly become a King he would kneel for. ”Mauja the Frostheart. He was King of this band, long before Psyche ruled. He was driven from his homelands by the Qian, and led his followers here to the Steppe.” This he had learned from Faelene, what seemed to be an entire lifetime ago. He remembered her differently, with burns keeping her from moving freely. That trek had been the very first budding of respect and admiration within him for her strength and determination. Her independence that he knew nobody could take from her. ”I was recruited by Faelene. Mauja himself came to meet me, welcome me. He welcomed me as a brother, as kin. He was proud, strong. But he was also willing to lay down and die for us, for any one single member in his herd. At least, that is the impression I got from him. He knew that withdrawing made him seem weak, but he would not have any of his subjects killed needlessly.” It had always been something Tolio admired about him, the fact that he cared more about his subjects than his pride. Tolio had come across far too many leaders who would fight until every last member fell, and then run for the hills like the cowards they were. ”He was the best leader I’ve ever known, ever seen. I would throw away my pride for him, kneel for him loyally should he return. I would quite literally die for him. Though I feel terrible saying this…this is for your ears only Sinny. But I will never accept Psyche as my Queen, not while I still have hope that he lives. I swore my very life and soul to him, to always serve him. He changed my entire life, and for that I owe it to him. He is my King, and I am his Servant. That’s how it will always be.” Voice taking on a firm, passionate tone. It was the truth, and only the truth.