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01-17-2013, 12:00 AM
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"What do you desire most?" I do not know what I expected him to ask, but that was not it. It makes me no less inclined to answer, but it does require a bit of time. I tilt my head to the side, a slight smile playing on my lips. Is that anxiety in those emerald eyes? Is he worried for having asked me, or for my answer? I hope that when I do speak, it will lay his fears, whatever those my be, to rest. Still, through the worry, his affection shines through, and I can tell that he enjoys our manes tangling in the wind much as I do. It is almost as though the universe is heralding the joining of our separate halves, as though it is acknowledging that we are meant to be. And surely we are - aren't we? What do I desire? I muse, allowing my thoughts to wander over the question. Immediately my parents jump to mind, and I am hard put to decide what it means. Do I desire my parents returned from the dead? For the massacre to never have happened? That would mean that I would never have been here, in Helovia, that I never would have met Rowan, or Phae, or Note... no. I do not desire that. Still, though, the image of family burns brightly in my mind's eye, and for a moment, I can see so clearly what my future holds: Note stands by my side, and we watch as our newborn foal frolics across the field of flowers... The image disappears, and I have one answer. But that one thing is not enough, for still my mind is searching, trying to connect the two ideas, looking for a link between the two... What is different about my old family and my new family? Something clicks, and I realize: I am safe here. When I was young and my family was murdered, I lost something very valuable to me. I was alone in the world. I was vulnerable, and I was most definitely not safe. But here, now... my lover is a warrior, my family one of the most well-established herd in Helovia. If I am not safe here, then I am not safe anywhere. So perhaps I have that, at least - so would I still desire it? Finally, I feel that I am able to answer. I press my muzzle to his, the velvet warmth a comfort. "I desire a family," I murmur, and I am surprised at the passion in my voice. "Not just a herd, but a true family that I can call my own." I wonder if he understands the implications - I am afraid to say it out loud for fear he will not share my feelings, but I want foals. "And more than that, I want my family to be safe. I don't want anyone to be able to take it away from me." Again, I want to add, but the word dies on my lips, my throat constricting. Who knew that I would feel so passionately? That so many memories would threaten? I would explain, but I find myself immobilized, unable to speak, and so I wait, hoping against hope to hear my desires reflected in him. |
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"Talk talk talk." |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
