Rowan finds the desire inside to turn and leave when she realizes that Sohalia is dozing, unwilling to wake her over what she considers to be such trivial matters. Her heart and her mind have always been disconnected, but Rowan was ruled by her mind. Yet somehow overnight her heart had taken the reins on the matter, and no matter how many times her brain told her that it was silly and idiotic, her heart hurt and ached with loneliness and self-hatred. But it is too late to back out, for Sohalia is awake and blinking sleep from her eyes. Rowan steps closer, completely lost and needing Sohalia's guidance. The younger woman did not understand emotions very well, and certainly didn't know how to deal with them. So this sudden tidal wave made her feel like she was falling apart, unable to understand why logic couldn't help her. So immediately she had sought Sohalia, because the pegasus was her only true friend. Her only friend at all. Heart throbbed at that, and she feared irrationally that her chest might split apart from this pain she didn't comprehend. But she was in luck, for her friend seemed to realize quite quickly that something was wrong.

Rowan is quickly met, and her breath hitched with emotion when their muzzles brushed. Returning the gesture almost desperately, though she tried to hide it. The fae felt like she was crumbling and needed someone external to right the balance and return the power to her mind instead. Weak, she is weak. The thought resounds in her head. "I-I have come to a terrible realization, Sohalia," she choked out, somehow managing to retain her composure. Sohalia doesn't deserve to pick up your pieces, she hissed at herself.
"And my heart is going wild and I cannot control it and I do not understand why it hurts so terribly badly!" Voice shook and rushed, showing plainly that her mind was no longer able to conquer matters of the heart. Ears drooped and she stood almost listlessly before her friend. Eyes surprisingly moist, though she was too stubborn to allow them freedom. "I-I am nothing. You are the only friend I have, and I h-have realized that...that I am impossible to befriend! There must be something wrong with me because...because I feel all these things but I don't know what they are! And I tell myself it's idiotic, logically these things should not affect me, but it does nothing to stop it!" Fear tinged her vocals, so unused to speaking so much but unable, it seemed, to stop. One single tear went streaking down her cheek. Voice dropped to a tremulous whisper. "I have realized...th-that I only have you, and that I-I shall never...shall never feel love o-or friendship. I am not normal!" Pain and hatred echoed in her tone and ears pinned slightly in agony. What hurt most, perhaps, was knowing she would not find love. Was she even worthy of it? Seeing Azzuen and Cassiopeia together, perhaps that was what had set off this episode. They were so in tune with each other, but Rowan didn't know if anyone could stand her long enough to love her, much less become so intimate with her to always know how to react to her. "I do not understand what it is I am feeling! And it has come on so suddenly and-!" Rowan cut herself off, choking down her words and took a step back from Sohalia, murmuring an apology for her actions and hysteria. Rhythmically twitching her tail against her legs, counting them and the seconds between them, mouthing them on occasion. Anything to stabilize her mind, let her calm down. Heart sank and she found herself thinking that she wouldn't be surprised if Sohalia simply turned and left her, horrified by how delirious she seemed.