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01-20-2013, 08:10 PM
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There is such pain in her eyes that I am hard pressed to hold her gaze. You cannot possibly understand the ties that she and I share; kindred spirits in separate bodies, but somehow it seems that I have flourished where she is dying. Perhaps not literally, no, for there are no marks upon her hide, no rattling breath of death - but mentally, there is no doubt, she is being crushed, mutilated, tormented by demons unknown to me - until now. My touch even seems to hurt her - I do not miss the hitch in her breathing, the struggle to hold her speech together. A lump forms in my throat, a small bloom of panic appearing in my mind. I step closer, pressing my body against hers, resting a wing gently across her shoulders. Anything to keep her close, make her feel right, make her feel loved. "I-I have come to a terrible realization, Sohalia, and my heart is going wild and I cannot control it and I do not understand why it hurts so terribly badly!" Her words are rushed, uncontrollably panicked, and something in me fears desperately for my friend. What could be this bad? What could haunt her so? "I-I am nothing. You are the only friend I have, and I h-have realized that...that I am impossible to befriend! There must be something wrong with me because...because I feel all these things but I don't know what they are! And I tell myself it's idiotic, logically these things should not affect me, but it does nothing to stop it!" A tear falls, and my heart with it. She is whispering now. "I have realized...th-that I only have you, and that I-I shall never...shall never feel love o-or friendship. I am not normal! I do not understand what it is I am feeling! And it has come on so suddenly and-!" She becomes incoherent, stepping away from me, seeming to concentrate on calming herself. I follow. She will not face this alone. I fix myself beside her bodice again, using my wing to try to pull her against me, to support her shaking form with my own. I murmur soft words, my tone one of consolation, hoping to offer some comfort. "You are not alone, Rowan. You are never alone," I finally manage to say, my lyrics overwhelmed with emotion. More fervently, I continue, my words falling quickly, earnestly. "You say that you are not normal, but... what is normal? How do we define what is normal? Rowan, none of us are normal! That's what makes the world so interesting. You say that you are impossible to befriend - but if that is so, then how did you become my dearest friend?" I pause, gazing intently at her. "You are lonely, aren't you, Rowan?" It is a soft question, kind, inviting her to speak more, to pour her heart out if she must. I only hope that I can calm her. |
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"Talk talk talk." |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
