[ Okay. I am doing my teaching spars a bit differently just to experiment and see how this compares to the traditional. How it will work is you will post, I will make a critique, and then you have an opportunity to correct the mistakes I pointed out. This will present more of a challenge for me because I am typically on auto-pilot for training spars, but I also think that you will benefit more and learn more by being able to go back and see what you did and problem solve those situations knowing what was good and bad.

As always, if you are unclear about any point in this fight, feel free to shoot me a PM and we can talk it out.

A major problem I have with your post is the first large chunk, almost half, of this seems irrelevant. Look where your post starts compared to where your summary starts. This may be a bit awkward because my post was a lot of "before the fight" because it was still kind of intro, but you have the first post that should be centered mostly on the action. Here, you have two paragraphs that are still sort of backdrop that have been adequately set up in your previous post. Unnecessary fluff is okay if you are comfortably below the word limit, but when you are really FEELING THE FIGHTING FLOW, 800 words comes fast. Try to challenge yourself by keeping the fluff to a minimum, as the judge will appreciate a faster, cleaner fight as well. It's easier to judge a concise post.

I want to place a warning label on my last critique, though. Do not strip away the personal details so much that you lose Levi entirely. In this post, you have emotional and personality completely separated from the action by the dividing line of your fluff versus your movement. You will notice that on the rubric from your spar with Angel, she was hit hard with a critique on emotion. Emotion and prose are key elements, so being concise does not mean make your character a robot. It means make your emotion relevant to the fight. What are they feeling when they are trying to bite their ally? Do they feel anxious in the air?

For instance:
"Only for a moment, he was unable to see, but the rim of the sun remained in a blue circle as it traveled with the vision of his eye. Until he saw Kri coming at him, he had no clue where she had gone."
Here would be a great moment to mention panic. Would you be panicked if you knew Kri was coming after your ass but couldn't see her? I know I would be. xD How does Levi feel when he is blinded? Try to engage yourself in his emotions during the fight.

The next critique I have is more of mechanics, but this may or may not be my fault. I decided that I wanted to try an aerial fight with you because 1) they are more challenging than ground fights, 2) aerial techniques are useful when your main fighter is a pegasus, and 3) you are free to be more creative with attacks, which usually helps me get some extra points for creativity, but you can do so as well! However, I realize now that maybe it would have been best to start "ground level" so to speak, mainly because I am really wordy with my movements. I tend to throw really complex ideas about movement into one sentence, which I think you did not take in the way I had intended.

Kri is essentially dropping, and then continuing to fly vertically. Essentially, her head/neck would meet an extended wing, which I wanted her to kind of flip him sideways if her attack was successful. Here is a basic schematic. Remember that the sun is to the LEFT which is opposite the direction Levi is from her. This means that when Kri yields LEFT she is going away from Levi, toward the sun. If Levi had brought his wing down to his barrel, Kri would have missed it entirely, maybe being whacked over the head with it, actually. xD Why I would suggest not doing this is because when Kri kicks out now, her kick would probably hit his wing. /: YOU DO NOT WANT TO INJURE WINGS IN AN AERIAL FIGHT, WHICH IS 100+ FEET ABOVE THE GROUND. Lol.

Kri also would not have her neck close enough for Levi to bite. He could try for a back leg, but I typically warn not to bite at back legs unless your character wants to be kicked in the face.

"Aiming himself directly above her, the brute aimed a kick towards her back left thy." Spell check! But also, this phrase was troublesome to me. It read as powerplay to me, but the word aiming made me sort of iffy about it. Judges have pointed out in my training spars that I am a powerplaying nazi, but I really do not like when characters try to assume -my- position. You can say that Levi rises upward, trying to rise above Kri, but this seemed to place Kri into a more static position, which limits me in how I can interpret the situation. Also, as you can see from the schematic, her left thigh is more or less facing the ground, so make suuuuuuuuuuure you have directions right. It is better to NOT HAVE a direction than to put one that is wrong.

I would suggest that since Kri is kicking with downward force on Levi's shoulder, continuing to fly upward, that he would not be able to float above her as easily. You are more likely to catch her on the same plane, or I would probably do some acrobatic maneuver to avoid the kick and bring myself up above her. xDD IDK. It would be more realistic to have Levi fall a few paces and then come up after her like a bat out of hell. ;D

So, the quick version:
Work on incorporating emotion during your attacks/defenses.
Cut out some of the fluff.
Avoid sticky powerplay language. Be super generous to avoid it, if need be.
Draw out the battle. It can be an ugly little sketch, but make sure you know what is going on. ]