| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE |
| Brit |
T o l i o
more than meets the eye
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For the first hour, he had run.
Breaths became labored, though every gasping shudder of his lungs was fiercely ignored. Alabaster hind legs drove him forth faster and harder than he had ever run before. Arabian lines from his mother brought him stamina that he had never tested, from his father strength of body that thrust him forth at speeds even he, a coltish and mischievous soul, would consider reckless and dangerous. It had been quite a while since sweat had drenched cinnamon and blood coat into a dark mahogany, since foam had flecked and accumulated on his flanks and the arch of his neck and shoulders. Once he had finally realized he could run no more he had stopped, knees shaking so badly he feared he would collapse. From that point he had walked, numb. Letting the sweat cool uncomfortably on his skin. He wished to hurt himself more than the soreness he was sure to experience, but his heart was already torn in pieces. What worse pain could there be?
He had to leave. Leave the Basin. Already he had drenched himself in every body of water he could find, had rubbed his bodice along sweetly scented flowers, grasses, trees. Anything to rid the scent of Phaedra from his skin- a process that hurt him, but one that he knew was necessary. Leaving the Basin was even worse. He still hoped, deep in his heart, that Mauja would return. And Faelene, the sister he loved so dearly. Would she be targeted, pressed for information, simply because they were close? It would kill him to have to leave her, the first soul to ever extend guidance and love to him in Helovia. He loved her as much as he loved Phaedra, though in completely different ways. Heart sank further when he thought of someone he had not even considered until that moment. Zikar-Sin. Tolio had, upon their first meeting, merely thought the stallion was adorable and quirky. But somehow he had grown, unnoticed, in his heart. Whether the man returned his surprising affections or not was unknown, but it only added to the agony that was weighing in on him. Would he never even have the chance to see it take off? To wonder if they could ever see each other again?
Frigid lands greeted him as he waited in the Steppe. The lands he had lived in for so long with Faelene and Mauja. Harsh winds tugged at crimson locks, tainted only by a stripe of white. Throat was clogged but he tilted crown heavenward anyways and sang out for his sister. He needed her, not only for her stability but to tell her that she would no longer be able to offer it to him. He would not be leaving immediately, no. He would trust only Faelene with this information, though he regretted dragging her into it already. Tolio had to make it so that when he did leave, he disappeared. Without a trace. He could not risk his brethren following him or tracking him down. It seemed that with every encounter, one tear slipped down his cheek. This one was shed and whipped away by the violent winds. Tolio was grateful for them, for they kept him alert and would shield the ensuing conversation from prying eyes and ears.
I’m signing my contract, come help me seal it in blood.
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| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 16 :: 9 Buff: NOVICE |
| Sica |
01-27-2013, 06:22 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-05-2013, 12:51 AM by Faelene.)
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F a e l e n e
it's always darkest before the dawn
D: I should not post late I copied my code here and then pasted my new reply and yeah it's gone. I think I have it on my computer. I will get it here when I find it. Or try to re-create it. -bad sica-
Faelene was following Tolio, and comes when he calls. She puts her red blanket on him, and pleas with him not to go.
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IMAGE
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE |
| Brit |
02-01-2013, 10:31 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-02-2013, 05:33 PM by Tolio.)
T o l i o
more than meets the eye
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He doesn’t know how she hears, how she knows he needs her, for he hasn’t realized she is following him at her own pace. Chest, slim yet slightly scarred from long past spars, heaves and shakes with every sharp breath. The frigid air around him does not help, and only makes it feel even more like ice is coating the inside of his lungs. He waits there- an ugly crimson stain on beautiful white. He is ugly, inside and out. The gods have cursed him, he is sure of it. And in moments her cry echoes back to him, promising her presence within moments. A dry sob shook him, grateful for the reply, for the fact that she is coming at all. It is embarrassing to feel so broken down he is actually nearly ready to cry with the fact that Faelene has not abandoned him. Out of everyone he is left with, he has her.
Across the snow she comes like an inky wraith, coming for him. How Tolio remains standing is questionable, for he feels like the entire world is pressing him down. Perhaps it is sheer willpower. Is it even worth standing? Something fierce growls back at him, as if enraged by the idea that Tolio could ever give up. YES. Yes, it is worth standing. Because on this day, he has learned. It is no longer just him, no. He has lost Phaedra now, but a son or daughter lives within her precious golden belly. It strikes him dumb, and after his flight of panic, love and excitement flutters into his chest. No, there is far more to this life than just him. Now, he has a little one on the way. When he had left his parents as a yearling, he’d wanted pure and perfect love. He had not been granted it, instead going through trial and toil to get where he was. To that moment he didn’t know what would happen between himself and the golden lass. The idea of her being hurt was far too strong, and he knew somehow that the Grey would not want her involved in a basketcase like him. Especially when it could sway her neutrality. Even if that was not the case, she most likely hated him. Had taken off with a withering 'fine' that had destroyed the tiny piece that remained of his heart. Now, he was lost, with only the thought of his child keeping him there. But that is what Faelene is for, and he moves forward to intercept her. He isn’t the same anymore, hasn’t been the same since he ran into Phaedra on the beach. When was the last time he actually felt happy? Other than the time he’d had with Phaedra in the Grove, he can’t recall. Zikar-Sin, the answer hits him, and he feels all the worse. Is he doomed to leave broken hearts wherever he goes, while scarring and slashing his own in the process? All he has left is her memory, for if he sees her again he fears he shall crumble into nothingness. She had left him with hardly a second thought. Didn't she understand the pain that he had gone through? Hadn't she seen that he had not wanted it, that he had desired nothing more than to stay with her? And yet...she did not. Tolio probably deserved it, her leaving him. Yet his chest never stopped aching. Is it possible to feel such immense pain? Why has his heart not stopped beating? Surely it is crying, wailing in agony for it to stop. So why does it beat on, when it no longer has a purpose? No longer able to love someone fully? The only person he will ever be allowed to love is his precious offspring. He desires to see himself in them, to raise them up in a way he believes is right. But if they are born feathered like their dam, will he ever see them without exiling himself? And if they are born with spirals upon their crowns, could he live to subject them to the underlying racism of the Basin, Plague or otherwise? And Psyche, she had twisted him inside. Made him love her in a sick fashion. Surely she would know that his homosexuality would never have produced children, and would be suspicious. Too many emotions, far too much to process, and he feels both ready to fight the world and ready to die as Faelene came within touching distance. Tolio had been oblivious to Faelene’s new body wear, and thought it looked rather magnificent on her. It was a dull thought, hardly recognized past the white noise of his mind. Gratitude and all-encompassing love covered every inch of his face as she brought it about his shoulders. Pillars trembled as she moved close and remained there, and he draped himself over her withers in response to her own actions. Bodice shivers against her, both from cold and emotion. Tears don’t come. He didn’t deserve the relief and escape that they would bring him. He is unworthy, his tears dirty and tainted. Faelene risked being tainted as well, merely being in his presence. Cursed with coat of blood, perhaps he is just a stain of such a substance, refusing to go but always unwanted. But then he thinks that maybe she’s the only one who understands. That maybe they’re all a little messed up inside, and when you have a particular kind of damage you find another that matches your shattered pieces and, somehow, you form a rudimentary mirror that is horrific and pitiful. And you call it understanding. Perhaps friendship. They are both dark inside, have demons and voices that are never allowed form. For if you believe they exist, they will become real. Tolio was a special kind of broken, and Faelene was his own tonic of darkness. Nobody was perfect, nobody ever would be. No matter if unicorns believed themselves higher- some would always be born tainted, hornless. And when you remove the horn from their head, what are they? Messed up souls trying to find a place of their own, desperate to call it heaven when hell remains in their ribcage. Locked up inside and screaming, poisoning their personality. He thinks maybe he understands racism now.
Her pleading is not normal, and he has to close his eyes from the view of swirling snow. How is it that she can find him special, in any way? Why would she be hurt should he leave? He had dragged her into this, made her a target simply by being her friend. She should have left him in the transition grounds to rot, for he would bring down everyone in his flaming downfall. A phoenix on its way to ashes, flaring brightly in rebellion to everything around it. They would burn with him. They would all fall, and yet he would be the only one to rise to the ashes- his eternal punishment for his damned existence. Watching those around him be hurt when he is left to live. An invisible mark must lie on his bodice somewhere, a sign that he is forever cursed to this existence. Whatever he had done, he deserved to be impaled upon every horn of the Basin to atone for it. Tone of maiden made pumping heart constrict, and he wished it would finally give up its futile efforts. It had nothing left to live for but that innocent cursed soul in a golden stomach. ”Faelene…what do I do? If I leave, they will be suspicious. Perhaps chase me. If they find me, I will not be able to help my child, and it will burn with me in my downfall. Phaedra...she has left me, uncaring. I love her still, but all I have now...is my child. And you. Even you will be cursed, hated, for befriending me. For bringing such a stain to our herd. For withholding information,” he chokes out painfully. It feels like he is choking up glass in every syllable, but he deserves it. He deserves every ounce of pain. For it is his fault, all his, and nobody else shall be blamed under his watch. Not for him. Not anymore. ”If my child has a horn, who will not be suspicious? That I, not only gay but crushing on another stallion, have a child? How will I be able to raise the child? What about Phaedra? Will she even allow me to take it away from her?” He is distraught, and it is unbecoming, but he is so numb he’s nearly to the point of logical. Where his brain has gone he doesn’t know, but so long as he’s not in an emotional breakdown he isn’t complaining. Neck strains just so and brings her closer, dry sob forcing its way out in a broken, humored sound. Laughing at himself. Mocking his very existence. ”I am spiraling down, and I am no Pegasus. I can't catch myself. As easily as I can see you now, I can see that I have a damned existence. She must hate me now, and then I love someone who I suspect is in the Plague, and-!" Voice broke sharply and he had to take in a deep breath, red and black meeting as he moved impossibly closer. They were both trying to be strong. Faelene…sister…help me…” Finally strong façade is broken and heartbroken whimper escapes. Begging her to help him, to do something. To work with him and make it all right once more.
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| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 16 :: 9 Buff: NOVICE |
| Sica |
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F a e l e n e
it's always darkest before the dawn
This was why Faelene hated Phaedra. Tolio had not been this unhinged soul, not until after meeting her, that mess she left him. The Unicorn wanted to pierce her heart for it, just to see if it would hurt her, spill her blood for his pain. Now, since what they had done he was, imagine that, worse! It was hard to see someone she loved and cared unraveling, rarely a thread together. He wasn't happy, he didn't know what to do. He was lost, scared. Where the fuck was Phaedra? No where to be found, Faelene was cleaning up her mess. Faelene wasn't seeing the love. Shouldn't they have thought of this? The veins in her head felt like coiling snakes, the pumping vessel of her body with the first sigh of cracks. Whether made of glass or ice it may have been a tainted mixture. Faelene was not pure. The moment her lively eyes captured him, she had to collect herself, smooth the ripples, and adorn her brave face. The warmth of her soul is in the contours of the dark visage. Tolio, why did you thread your life with mine and hers? A conquered, fallen warrior, but Faelene hoped he was not giving up this fight. She would not forget what she had saw in his steely blue gaze. He does see her, stops her giving her a flicker of hope, a flicker of relief. This was far from over, it was just the beginning. Oh, Faelene she would be sure that Pegasus got something through that thick skull of hers.
Body entwined, his is so cold, trembling with all the crushing pain. Faelene has to grit her teeth not to scream, not to vow now to kill a spotted wretch. Tolio, did not want that. Plot twist of sister murdering the mother of her brother's children made this nightmare worse. Death would be too kind for that fickle thing. Faelene breathed deep,chest to chest her chin pressed against the velvet of her blanket, the broad of his shoulder, squeezing him to give him something else to feel. She would always be here, she tried to convey in her embrace. They were two broken pieces trying to form some kind of whole. The pieces might not fit perfect, they conformed, they could exist together. Tolio needed Faelene, and she needed him too. Since gaining her freedom he was the warmest soul she had encountered. He never asked those hard questions. He never made a sharp stab. He talked with her, he listened. He was her sanity. If this was his undoing..it could well be hers. It wasn't that, which made her want to save him. It was hard to explain. She had seen so many lose it. Day after day, night after night doing whatever was wanted, whatever you were told. If you didn't you begged them to kill you. When they were done torturing your flesh, your spirit they left you like that for a day to feel your agony. The next day a healer would come, and you would face another day in hell. Under that there were many a shattered mind, she wasn't sure if she was desensitized to screaming or more sensitive because of it. She wouldn't ignore the forsaken. Tolio, unlike the others she could do something for instead of watching him die inside. The death of a soul was a horrible thing to witness.
Faelene only begs because she wasn't sure what he was doing:trying to kill himself, drive in a sickness, or running away. And she was desperate. He can't do those. She wouldn't let him. Sweet voice cracks against the cold he made her look like an optimist, all these negative thoughts. He had to prepare for the worst, for a life that was his creation, his blood. Faelene tries to detach herself from him, not with her body, but with her mind. It is the only way she can discover an answer, a way. Sure, enough she wants to cringe at Phaedra's name, scrape the ground, and curse her. The red manes doesn't lose her hold, she listens to every worry, every fear. Faelene makes sure not to harm him, he holds her tighter at least he is warming, at least she can be there someting real. While Tolio feel deeper, Faelene stayed on the surface. She could stifle the hurt better. She had some thoughts maybe, Tolio would not have to leave her...not yet. The silver horned Unicorn pressed her neck harder, trying to fight the quakes of his body. Faelene holds to him tightly hoping he can still breathe, she is silent trying to calm the whirlwind of her own mind.
"Tolio, I want you to picture your baby okay? Do not think of anything else but that little soul. Fuzzy pointed ears, little round hooves, and beautiful eyes full of questions. Love, what a warm sweet love you will have." Faelene, very slowly she unwrapped herself, and met him face to face as best Unicorns could do. Horns had to entwine. Eyes locked to his, they were calm, but very serious. "If you can't collect yourself, do what is necessary for that child I can't help you. But, I know you can do this, you have a soft heart, but it is strong, and noble. Now there are few souls who know of this. Have you forgotten brother what I do? Believe me, that information is mine. I can surely bleed to death before I had it ripped from my tongue. If this child has a horn, you can claim them. If you need to say who the mother is, there is such things as seducing magic is there not? The only problem is..if it has wings, if it looks like her. Then you will have to leave. I have ideas for that too. Lets not think about it now. Tolio I know when it rains it pours, but control your thoughts, do not let them flood you. Phaedra is probably just upset. You worked it out once, you can do it again. I know no matter what she will want you in this." Black nose brushed his white,letting her warm breath pass over him, she had an assured grin of sorts. "For this fellow I see nothing wrong with getting to know him better. Maybe, he will be what your heart needs, maybe not. I do not know much about love myself," and she gave a sheepish laugh, bumping his muzzle. "No matter what I am here for you, and I will do everything in my power for you, and yours."
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IMAGE
![[Image: faeleneicon.png]](http://i800.photobucket.com/albums/yy285/schwartze_asylum/faeleneicon.png)
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE |
| Brit |
T o l i o
more than meets the eye
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Focus is wavering, and he feels as if he is coming apart like a weave tugged on too hard. He had been such a different person when he had first appeared in the Threshold. Wild, mischievous, proud. It was less obvious his preference for stallions, for he was a fighter that took pride in his duties. Where had everything gone wrong? He desired to blame it on Phaedra, for that was the moment everything changed, but the love he felt for her made him feel like he didn’t deserve to live. And his children? How would they react to having parents that did not raise them as a unit? He felt like a broken failure.
But…there’s nowhere to go but up, now…
Soft voice whispered into his mind and he realized he’d hit rock bottom. He was laying down there, wherever he was, and looking up at Faelene. She, if anyone, was the only person he trusted to help put him back together. With her there, he felt stronger. She had always been his pillar, and now he could sense the ties that kept him pressed so closely to Phaedra slipping over his skin to lay in broken red ribbon on the purity of the snow. He could be right again, he could be okay. It would take work, but he could be normal once more. There would be no abandoning the Basin. Phaedra had made her choice and he knew that, though he desired for his child to have a horn if only to assure the fact that he could see them. Faelene’s words have always spoken loudest through her actions, and Tolio has always been able to adapt in her presence. It seemed that whenever they met, they spoke so much less. Instead, they talked with their bodies. Soft squeeze, their embrace, it all told him that she didn’t judge him for how far he’d fallen. He was Icarus, and she was willing to remold his wax wings. Surely he looked a mess, hardly befitting a warrior or a Basin citizen at all. Even so she was there, always there. Had been there every single step of the way. He was her warmth, her guiding light; she his strength, his grounding frigidity. She inspired loyalty within him, made him see how much he loved the Basin beneath his conflicted feelings. They may not fit perfectly together, but they clung so tightly they could not be ripped apart. Somehow, together, they would be whole again.
Words come spilling out and he instantly regrets it, feeling even weaker standing there in his sister’s hold. He wants to show Phaedra that she can’t control his emotions anymore. For such a long time, Tolio was centered around nothing but the golden mare. Maybe he could move on from that, and he is reminded of the distance he feels between them. He and Phaedra are of two different breeds- she could not make him leave his precious home, and he could not bring her with him. They were different in nearly every way, and he honestly wondered at times why he loved her. Love transcends all boundaries, though, and he knows that is most likely a factor in his overwhelming adoration for her.
Faelene’s voice softly broke apart his thoughts, painting the desolate air around him with comfort and security, forming a blanket of color that helped warm him far more than her furs ever could. Obediently he pictures his child, and he does not feel shame in imagining it as a filly. Maybe with his eyes? And she is smiling at him and giggling in the way he does, but with Phaedra’s smile. Heart aches with want, with love. That’s his baby girl. Faelene’s words only make her seem more endearing in his mind, though his eyes are still awake to the conscious world. They face each other, horns crossing at the tips, and Tolio feels like he belongs for once in his life. Faelene has always made him feel like he belonged. Words just keep flowing from her and slowly, very slowly, his posture changes. Spine straightening, chest pushing out and up. Tolio will not slump. He can’t give up now, not when his child was depending on him. He wasn’t going to run away from it. Haze clears from blue-frosted silver irises, and he focuses solely on Faelene’s sentences. Seriousness coats his visage when he speaks, tone calm and deliberate. ”I do not feel like a bad person for saying that I am not sure I want to go running back to Phaedra. All we do is hurt each other, and I don’t have any more of my heart to spare for her. Love lingers, but free will still resides within this frame, sister,” he confessed. Was it wrong for him to love Phaedra but not want to be with her? Because it seemed all they did was hurt each other, and he hated her as much as he loved her, and as much as he hated himself. Likely he would always love her, but if staying away helped the both of them then maybe it was for the best. Oppositely painted muzzles touch, and his own mischievous grin lights up to mirror hers. It is weaker than any other day, but it comforts him to know he’s still there, somewhere inside. Once she speaks about Zikar-Sin however it turns shy, as if he is a filly confessing a crush to her mother. Face is unnaturally warm. ”I-I don’t see how he could possibly love someone like me, sister.” His own sheepish laugh echoes with hers, and he is oblivious to the fact that calling her sister has become a habit. ”I will stay. Hopefully forever…and pray every day that Phaedra will allow my child to come here with me should they bear a horn. But what if she does not want them to go with me, for any amount of time?” Tolio frowns, but forces it away. It is not a time for sorrow. This was a time for rebuilding, for companionship. Softly he brushes his muzzle up her cheek in a small brush, smiling. ”Thank you, Faelene.”
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| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 16 :: 9 Buff: NOVICE |
| Sica |
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F a e l e n e
it's always darkest before the dawn
Faelene couldn't steal his problems, his pain, and take them on herself as much as she may want. She could shoulder them, help carry all that was placed. He might think himself weak, but he had gone as low as he could go. (She hoped) He had to pick himself up, as this could only make him stronger.
The red maned remained like obsidian statue, soft to the touch, voice soft to the ears the rest of her was unmoved. Dead air falling upon their ears she gave him the chance to think, to see what really mattered, and what he could change and control. There was no going back in time, no what ifs, or hoping for something else. He had now, and that was it. What would he do? Faelene could put him back together, but she couldn't make him stay whole. She wasn't meant to be that whole piece of him, just a part. A character in his story, but not the important lead who was to be beside him to his happily ever after. Sad as it was, Faelene had felt no purpose here until now with the broken soul of her dear brother she held tightly. One single reason for her existence to comfort him. She would forever be haunted if his life would be less complicated if she had not found him that day in the threshold.
The red charger begins to rise, there is pride in her chest to see him as the stallion he was. Faelene does not let too much emotion slip on her face to throw him off balance. Silver eyes meet his blue tinted ones, trying to see what he had found. Her lips crack into a smile in relief. "I am happy to hear you won't lap after her like some dog. You need to figure out what is best for you, what you can live with." If he couldn't stand being away from the Basin, away from Faelene then why go after Phaedra knowing how that might not work. That...maybe they were not meant to be together, only their pathers were meant to intersect. She didn't know, but one day he would. Whatever choice he made, she was only telling him make the one he could live with, not be miserable by. How wonderful it was to see his grin sparking on his lips, a laugh erupted and she rubs her nose to his once more, breathing a sigh of relief. Tolio couldn't fall back into that defeated boy, Faelene would miss him.
Oh, she did not expect this embarrassment, if she had stolen a secret. It must mean how much he did like this Zikar-Sin. How sweet it made him look, more like himself. However, Faelene scoffed at his words. "Who could not love you Tolio?" She said, shaking her head in own disbelief, and than playfully she bumped her muzzle to the length of his jaw. "I do, and someone else will more than I..." Faelene knew when the words left her lips they were not a lie, they couldn't be. Moment sobers, and there is a hint of sadness and happiness making her eyes gleam. "I hope so, but do not worry about Phaedra. If she is really that cruel we will think of something. But I am sure she loves more than your good looks, brother." There was a great smile on her face, because that spotted Pegasus had too. The red maned accepted his gentle touch, happy to see his smile return to him again. "You can't help who you fall in love with."
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sorry for the wait <33
don't know if you want a new thread? xD
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE |
| Brit |
[[New thread works for me <3]]
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Kissing You Goodbye For Tomorrow's Departure | Faelene
