Love felt distant – besides Raimo at least. He swirled in patterns, tracing the clouds above the trees maneuvering so gracefully, an iridescent shimmer always refracting his gaze. He often twisted about in the air with his wings straight out like a piece of alien blue metal, so stiff and out of place – before pelting down on my back, careful to keep his claws sheathed. My eyes found him, a trickle of blue stream flowing through the clouds, pushed by an angry current of wind. Soft strands of forelock fell into my face as I kept retreating. I was retreating to the pit of darkness, but somehow, light always managed to float through the motes of forest, to linger along my back in wide splotches.

Love is cursed in my soul – besides that part of me that knew how to keep sane. I didn’t think that was my soul because it really knew how to hold me straight enough to walk, run, and even remember to eat. I always thought the soul was a flimsy thing. Mine has to be flimsier than most because it’s black with the poison of shade – not real stereotypical shade, shade that’s alive. Shade that has blood clot eyes, steep and stale to the words, alive only in the name of revenge; that kind of shade. They took everyone and everything I ever had, and ground them up into meat patties. Fighting them, I saw, was not an option. Not even the most powerful of magic could quell them. It made them stronger, and so indescribably unbeatable that Raimo convinced me away as sweat and blood trailed off in the rain. I had all the stalwart vexation anyone on that front line would have asked for, but I continued to follow the turbine trail of blue smoke that so hurriedly rushed me away from the war cries of victims to that madness.

Love is hard to find because it hides in the places where you’d least expect to find it. That’s why I’m looking in the darkness of this forest. Motes swirl around me, dancing in yellow fragments by the Tallsun beams. They fade away, obviously afraid of the dark. I’m not looking for the kind of love that you find in a friend or a family. I’m looking for the love of myself, but I’m not sure I understand the words of my darkened soul yet. I can only see them from behind as mirrored chasers, cutting me from all sides but straight forward. Raimo is blind to them too. He doesn’t understand why my heart drags us here, but he wants to know why just as much as I do. We’re both intrigued by this theatrical heart of mine.

‘Love’s performances hold high in the caves of despair.’ Mother’s words, better than all always echo through the caves of my ears. Raimo listens to them contentedly as I do, but we both feel this eerie sensation wander about in our bones when my heart sings them at me. I just can’t keep that one image of her, that last image of her, when she was splayed by the massive boulder, snow hiding in her exposed stomach organs, the corner of my six-month old eye coming blurry with salt water. I remember that nice man’s hide, how skinny, but warm it was. He was truly the savior of my life.

Love wasn’t there until my father came, gold flying behind him in tragic cries, boulder-like mass shaking the tired earth. He embraced my shoulders before they fell into uneven whines. That father took me away from the frail savior, and placed my in an area that felt safe to him, returning to wherever he was to begin with. I think that is what love has offered me. It sure hasn’t offered me anything next to Raimo. I think I would kill my own father for Raimo.

Love works in mysterious ways, stopping as I do, leading me to a fountain of glittering crystals. The water swirls clear as crystals. But these crystals are red rather than clear. I think blood before anything else, but by taking a sip dared by the blue, I find it is of the sweetest taste, and the chilliest temperature. I pull away from the gemstone pool and wait for love to whisk me away into a steady gait again, but it doesn’t. This time I’m halted in the daze of darkness, neck extended over the magical pool, motes floating around. The light is absent. Raimo lands on my withers. I swish my tail and wait for a sound.

[tried a new style with him. open to anyone grey maybe?]