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01-26-2013, 02:03 PM
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
I didn’t know what to expect at this point, we walked to the glade in a tense silence that I had failed thus far to break. My gaze cast a grim look at the boy that so closely followed, “Your upset…..do you want to talk about it?” I ask softly. It was common knowledge to all as to why my lad was forlorn. Cera had been through a battle once before, but this one was different for many reasons. Not just because the threat was upon our homeland and not in a territory far away, but also because he was still recovering from an attack nearly a month ago. Nerves were tight and strained even now. The enemy would be coming here, and as a father, it was my responsibility to assure that before this battle even started—Cera would be well away from the conflict.
Of course, he wouldn’t be happy about this; but it really couldn’t be helped.
I had ever confidence that those rouges wouldn’t make it past the meadow, and certainly wouldn’t breech our lines. This minor skirmish should be an easy victory. I say should because, despite the fact that we had numbers and allies. You couldn’t be too careful. Even with our obvious advantages; to take the enemy for granted would be foolish and blind. Surely they had strength enough to back up a blunt challenge to a herd such as ours. Surely they would know we had allies in the hills even if they succeeded in pulling off the unlikely task of crossing our desert sand.
Surely.
![[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]](http://images.helovia.net/index.php/view/5388c9b80fe59)
| Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit |
01-30-2013, 01:07 AM
 |
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER |
| Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel |
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
Cera pondered upon my question in silence, or so it seemed he was thinking on it. I waited with all the patience in the world, voice not daring to further pry words from his throat. Though, on some days I wished for the same bond that was held between companions—then it would be easy enough to figure out what this growing steed was thinking. Parenting should come with a manual, or at least an instructional class…one that prepared young fathers and mothers for all those really tough situations.
Perhaps I would pray for advice to fall from heaven, giving place and time for learning how to actually be a good guardian. Currently, this keeper felt like a total failure. First it had been Norse, now Cera. But I couldn’t dwell, it wasn’t in my nature; instead we pressed forward. Ever forward, even when limbs just wanted to collapse and surrender to the elements that pushed us apart.
Children had to grow, and experience emotions fully to develop a wide personality. This to be yearling was just having a harder time now. At the fault of another, with most of the blame still left on these shoulders. A mistake I had once vowed to never make again, was yet repeating with a different soul.
”I…I went to see Note again, a while ago…” his slow speech gave no cause for worry, and I couldn’t have anticipated the next set of words to follow. Instead my stern, gentle face reacted pleasantly, a smile starting to form as remembrance of our recent spar came forward in mind.
Note was one of my elder underling soldiers, and a skilled one at that.
But, my premature turnup wouldn’t last long.
”He told me a story about a colt that was taken in by a very bad father…and that he was raised to kill. That the colt killed his father, who gave him a scar on his side for it…”
Halfway through Cera’s sentence my face fell apart, and a possible grin was replaced with tightly pulled lines that spoke shock and renewed disgust. Note had crossed a boundary, “What right did he have to fill my child with stories of horror? Stories, that better suited rouge two year olds, those were certainly not tales meant to calm my thriving to be young adult. People seemed to be feeding Cera’s fear like mice to a hungry serpent.
Forcefully I pointed gaze stared straight ahead, and didn’t turn for fear the babe would see anger filtering in and mistake the emotion and its direction.
Purposely I had shared stories of brave knights, magic, ladies and lords. Tales that my father and mother had spun when I was a curious colt; anxious to understand our world. The nasty horrors of a short existence were later learned through a set of mature eyes. My respect for the dark stud, Note, dropped immensely….we could break words later; and I would assure that such stories never fell from his lips again.
Fina, who had been soaring above—felt my discomfort and called out meekly. Curious as to what had caused a strong stirring of emotion, ”And…now, anyone with horns…” Taking a steadying breath I tried to push past washing fury. More concerns and worries came forth and momentary anger was set aside for another day, I was still on damage control with other matters.
Throughout all his confessions our home had quickly approached, until finally we had made it under the comforting branches of the old Magnolia tree. Its branches heavy with budding blooms and vibrant green leaves. +
Fina flew up to her favorite rousting spot and watched us with wary eyes, anticipating my emotions by sending me childish waves of questions and concern. I brushed her aside internally; not having energy to care for her needs when there was a heartsick child to deal with. She fluffed her feathers and then proceeded to pout by tucking beak behind one wing and closing the only blue eye we could see.
Pausing under shadows without giving her second glance, I folded my legs into the sand. Allowing right wing to tuck under and the left to flare outward. She peeked at me through dark lashes, my golden pools retained their familiar fatherly accent, but a hint of masked anger laced the depths like a black thread in a golden rug. “Not now, child,” I said to her aloud, before turning attention back to the problem at hand. She had a selfish streak that gave urges for the bird to be center and front of everyone’s attention.
No matter their situation.
“Cera,” I began softly, my eyes studied his troubled face, “You must know that it isn’t only the horns that make a person dangerous.” Training in crafting had come to a standstill, mostly because folks kept walking into the Throat then a month later walking back out, “Bazilisk isn’t the only manipulator within our family; if you wish it, Coris could be your new mentor. He is kind and skilled in the art of leather; the crafter could pass on some valuable lessons.”
He had leased me aid once before, when I had been a little younger and questing for my father’s armor.
“You are growing an inch a day and I can’t shield this world from you forever,” as much as I would like to, “The story Note told you was misplaced and shouldn’t have been spoken to a colt your age, but you have also experienced a horror that most youths would never come across.” Gesturing toward the expansion of land in the distance and faint line of mountains, “Out there, are creatures of wings, horns, magic, and none of the above—they will harbor the desire to cause harm; but I have told you this before. Placing fear in your heart for unicorns will only sprout anger later down the road of life.”
“Love your friends as you love, Hototo.”
A confession was coming now, one that I didn’t really want to admit aloud, “You speak of being unable to return to the forest? I share these feelings,” my voice wavers a little, memories that had been pushed aside suddenly fling their ugly face forward, “it is understandable and nobody will expect you overcome these fears anytime soon. But understand that this fear isn’t going to last forever.”
“You are going to change, mature; already you have shown strength twice that of a lesser spirit. You have the personality to overcome any situation.” I honestly believed that with the right direction, comfort and patience, we could overcome this, “When you are ready, I will travel with you to the forest, and together we will bash this fear and rid ourselves of the dread it brings.”
Perhaps I would pray for advice to fall from heaven, giving place and time for learning how to actually be a good guardian. Currently, this keeper felt like a total failure. First it had been Norse, now Cera. But I couldn’t dwell, it wasn’t in my nature; instead we pressed forward. Ever forward, even when limbs just wanted to collapse and surrender to the elements that pushed us apart.
Children had to grow, and experience emotions fully to develop a wide personality. This to be yearling was just having a harder time now. At the fault of another, with most of the blame still left on these shoulders. A mistake I had once vowed to never make again, was yet repeating with a different soul.
”I…I went to see Note again, a while ago…” his slow speech gave no cause for worry, and I couldn’t have anticipated the next set of words to follow. Instead my stern, gentle face reacted pleasantly, a smile starting to form as remembrance of our recent spar came forward in mind.
Note was one of my elder underling soldiers, and a skilled one at that.
But, my premature turnup wouldn’t last long.
”He told me a story about a colt that was taken in by a very bad father…and that he was raised to kill. That the colt killed his father, who gave him a scar on his side for it…”
Halfway through Cera’s sentence my face fell apart, and a possible grin was replaced with tightly pulled lines that spoke shock and renewed disgust. Note had crossed a boundary, “What right did he have to fill my child with stories of horror? Stories, that better suited rouge two year olds, those were certainly not tales meant to calm my thriving to be young adult. People seemed to be feeding Cera’s fear like mice to a hungry serpent.
Forcefully I pointed gaze stared straight ahead, and didn’t turn for fear the babe would see anger filtering in and mistake the emotion and its direction.
Purposely I had shared stories of brave knights, magic, ladies and lords. Tales that my father and mother had spun when I was a curious colt; anxious to understand our world. The nasty horrors of a short existence were later learned through a set of mature eyes. My respect for the dark stud, Note, dropped immensely….we could break words later; and I would assure that such stories never fell from his lips again.
Fina, who had been soaring above—felt my discomfort and called out meekly. Curious as to what had caused a strong stirring of emotion, ”And…now, anyone with horns…” Taking a steadying breath I tried to push past washing fury. More concerns and worries came forth and momentary anger was set aside for another day, I was still on damage control with other matters.
Throughout all his confessions our home had quickly approached, until finally we had made it under the comforting branches of the old Magnolia tree. Its branches heavy with budding blooms and vibrant green leaves. +
Fina flew up to her favorite rousting spot and watched us with wary eyes, anticipating my emotions by sending me childish waves of questions and concern. I brushed her aside internally; not having energy to care for her needs when there was a heartsick child to deal with. She fluffed her feathers and then proceeded to pout by tucking beak behind one wing and closing the only blue eye we could see.
Pausing under shadows without giving her second glance, I folded my legs into the sand. Allowing right wing to tuck under and the left to flare outward. She peeked at me through dark lashes, my golden pools retained their familiar fatherly accent, but a hint of masked anger laced the depths like a black thread in a golden rug. “Not now, child,” I said to her aloud, before turning attention back to the problem at hand. She had a selfish streak that gave urges for the bird to be center and front of everyone’s attention.
No matter their situation.
“Cera,” I began softly, my eyes studied his troubled face, “You must know that it isn’t only the horns that make a person dangerous.” Training in crafting had come to a standstill, mostly because folks kept walking into the Throat then a month later walking back out, “Bazilisk isn’t the only manipulator within our family; if you wish it, Coris could be your new mentor. He is kind and skilled in the art of leather; the crafter could pass on some valuable lessons.”
He had leased me aid once before, when I had been a little younger and questing for my father’s armor.
“You are growing an inch a day and I can’t shield this world from you forever,” as much as I would like to, “The story Note told you was misplaced and shouldn’t have been spoken to a colt your age, but you have also experienced a horror that most youths would never come across.” Gesturing toward the expansion of land in the distance and faint line of mountains, “Out there, are creatures of wings, horns, magic, and none of the above—they will harbor the desire to cause harm; but I have told you this before. Placing fear in your heart for unicorns will only sprout anger later down the road of life.”
“Love your friends as you love, Hototo.”
A confession was coming now, one that I didn’t really want to admit aloud, “You speak of being unable to return to the forest? I share these feelings,” my voice wavers a little, memories that had been pushed aside suddenly fling their ugly face forward, “it is understandable and nobody will expect you overcome these fears anytime soon. But understand that this fear isn’t going to last forever.”
“You are going to change, mature; already you have shown strength twice that of a lesser spirit. You have the personality to overcome any situation.” I honestly believed that with the right direction, comfort and patience, we could overcome this, “When you are ready, I will travel with you to the forest, and together we will bash this fear and rid ourselves of the dread it brings.”
| Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit |
02-03-2013, 03:19 AM
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER |
| Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel |
02-06-2013, 03:08 PM
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
When Cera’s face lite up at the mention of another opportunity at crafting, I grinned and nodded assertively; he would get his chance at becoming whatever the gods deemed proper. “Magic will grow within you, just give it some time.” I say positively. His response toward Hototo was actually a blessing, and not really surprising. The foals got along rather well; which was perfect for the grand scheme of things. My thought process was that if something were to happen to me… at least Ktulu and Hototo would be there in my stead to pick up the pieces. Cera already knew of my affections for Ktulu by how we had begun as a family to spend more time with them.
He loved Hototo enough for their comfort to be allowed if somehow I were to vanish from this existence, “Your bond with the colt is special,” I murmur while leaning into his touch and pressing forehead against the soft contours of reachable flesh. It made me a little glum that his baby essence I had come to love was slowly disappearing, “I understand.” Oh I knew. Deep down, I knew of how strong this love could run. It was humbling, awe-inspiring to me that this simple soul could cherish life the way he did. Untarnished, untainted by the hates of our world.
But.
Gangly colt was quickly budding into yearling; soon he would be a stallion worthy of earning title and place within our growing clan. Already his length stretched to match mine in the coming months; weight would then surpass my own compact gene pool. Despite the signs of growth and agility, Cera had never struck me as fighter material. A defender perhaps, a crafter yes, knowledgeable in the art of war for the sake of protecting those most important, but beyond that….. he didn’t seem to have the desire of becoming a brawler.
No flame of true battle burned in his breast, which meant that my gentle giant wouldn’t ever follow in these footsteps willingly. Which was a total contrast to the yearnings of my early youth, most of which had been spent close to mothers milk. But the later months had been shared with Sire, and the sparing ring. It drew attention and captured heart. The glory and honor was intriguing. Hours were spent simply watching brave lords and ladies fight for endurance, speed, and skill. Father wouldn’t let me get in on the action. But, I could tell of his pride by the way he smiled at the end of a hard day’s work, knowing that I had stood by in careful study. Cheering him on.
He had been my hero.
Throat tightened when a little voice interrupted my trip along memory lane, ”Daddy, I want to fight with you.” My response was tender, warm and full of delight. There would be nothing more pleasing than to have you by my side, but alas, “You are still seasons away from your first spar,” knowing the retorts would be quick in coming I add softly, “Nothing would make me happier than to have you near when the enemy comes.” Cera couldn’t fight, not yet, not now. His life would be torn asunder and rendered meaningless, and that wasn’t going to happen while this body still had power within it.
Serious now my face tightens and the beginnings of a frown form, he wasn’t going to like my next set of words. But surely by now the painted cherub would expect it, “You are to head toward the ocean when the battle starts—follow it to our special place.” My voice offered no quarter and held firm direction, he usually knew better than to press further when matters got serious, “You know…the one where we meet Ktulu and Hototo every so often to play along the surf?”
| Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit |
02-07-2013, 11:56 PM
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER |
| Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel |
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
He moves from me and the absence creates a yearning for him to return, mouth hangs limp as if to retort this motion; yet no words fall into place to make it so. Was he really growing this fast? Shooting up like a little sapping that was stretching to find its place in a wide world full of tall oaks. The space between us instantly chills, and I sense what is coming yet can’t fathom hearing those words come to life. The tight furrowing of brow and straight lined frown seems misplaced on a normally cheerful face. My child was going to rebuke a command, and with a grimace I stare. Waiting to see what Cera planned to do next.
”No, no I won’t!”
Vocals are dropping from the high pitched voice of a boy, to one that will someday boom with the tone of a man. I stare at him dumbly, stricken and momentarily lost. Anger I was expecting, sadness even, but....no?
Though outward features seem to hold their stern placement, I struggle to retain composure; control over this situation was slipping away. An adolescence stands up against my direction and pushes for his own way, “I want to fight, daddy! You can’t make me leave!” Tan wings start to unfurl and for a moment I wonder with widening eyes if he was going to recklessly take heaven by force.
My first instinct was to plead with him, beg him to see reason. But those glinting eyes tells me he would have none of it. Fiercely I search memories for an answer, my second thought was to do the unthinkable and rise over him, overpower and subdue this outburst of sudden disobedience. He knew, and I knew, hell everyone knew that a colt simply couldn’t be placed on the battlefield.
But what would yelling at him solve? He would learn nothing from this if I simply forced my will upon him…. No, I finally resolved, this matter had to be handed a certain way and carefully.
During this thinking process I simply sit by in silence, my eyes never leaving his face. Eventually my searching gaze notices something that halts the anger of being told ‘no.’ I see concern and love, a strong will to protect.
Maybe this gentle soul did possess the fire of a warrior after all.
The tight lines on my face relax ever so slightly, and gaze turns away to stare past him toward heaven. Thoughtfully I respond, ”You are correct,” ears tilt ever so slightly in a backwards direction, the only warning he was going to get for what was to happen next, I can’t force you to leave.” My voice is soft, dangerously somber, ”You ask for the chance to enter hell, to fly back into the arms of death….I will not lie to you Cera…cannot lie to you.”
“This request means only heartache and pain."
"Unlike your current state, I am built for battle and war…have been trained and tested for it since youth.” Cera wanted to fight, and the thought of it made my heart sick with dread. Nausea burst up and threatened to close of throat. Forcefully I powered through it all the same, “Hold fast and hear my words child, see what battle has created.” Rising slowly I call upon the pulsing collar around my neck, it feels warm and comforting. But its purpose was anything but comfort, it was built to not only protect, but to kill. Rapidly each smooth plate snaps forward so that I become a beast of metal by the time body fully stands.
This frame was a terror he hadn't seen except in fleeting moments. Cera had only witness me wearing this armor once before, on the day of his violent attack. Purposely I hadn’t ever shown it to him, because I didn’t want him to be afraid…..
My heart thunders away beneath the sheets of metal and gold, and from behind the horned mask my eyes flash, gentleness gone and the edge of a warrior in its place, “Gaze upon me not as a babe with fear and a trembling heart, but as a man--for you desire something that is not childish…." Staring down at him through masked eyes I add gently, "Think upon this, and answer me honestly....do you still want to fight by my side?” My purpose was not frighten, but to make Cera realize the full weight of this choice. It was his alone to make, I couldn’t make it for him; nor could I protect him forever.
”No, no I won’t!”
Vocals are dropping from the high pitched voice of a boy, to one that will someday boom with the tone of a man. I stare at him dumbly, stricken and momentarily lost. Anger I was expecting, sadness even, but....no?
Though outward features seem to hold their stern placement, I struggle to retain composure; control over this situation was slipping away. An adolescence stands up against my direction and pushes for his own way, “I want to fight, daddy! You can’t make me leave!” Tan wings start to unfurl and for a moment I wonder with widening eyes if he was going to recklessly take heaven by force.
My first instinct was to plead with him, beg him to see reason. But those glinting eyes tells me he would have none of it. Fiercely I search memories for an answer, my second thought was to do the unthinkable and rise over him, overpower and subdue this outburst of sudden disobedience. He knew, and I knew, hell everyone knew that a colt simply couldn’t be placed on the battlefield.
But what would yelling at him solve? He would learn nothing from this if I simply forced my will upon him…. No, I finally resolved, this matter had to be handed a certain way and carefully.
During this thinking process I simply sit by in silence, my eyes never leaving his face. Eventually my searching gaze notices something that halts the anger of being told ‘no.’ I see concern and love, a strong will to protect.
Maybe this gentle soul did possess the fire of a warrior after all.
The tight lines on my face relax ever so slightly, and gaze turns away to stare past him toward heaven. Thoughtfully I respond, ”You are correct,” ears tilt ever so slightly in a backwards direction, the only warning he was going to get for what was to happen next, I can’t force you to leave.” My voice is soft, dangerously somber, ”You ask for the chance to enter hell, to fly back into the arms of death….I will not lie to you Cera…cannot lie to you.”
“This request means only heartache and pain."
"Unlike your current state, I am built for battle and war…have been trained and tested for it since youth.” Cera wanted to fight, and the thought of it made my heart sick with dread. Nausea burst up and threatened to close of throat. Forcefully I powered through it all the same, “Hold fast and hear my words child, see what battle has created.” Rising slowly I call upon the pulsing collar around my neck, it feels warm and comforting. But its purpose was anything but comfort, it was built to not only protect, but to kill. Rapidly each smooth plate snaps forward so that I become a beast of metal by the time body fully stands.
This frame was a terror he hadn't seen except in fleeting moments. Cera had only witness me wearing this armor once before, on the day of his violent attack. Purposely I hadn’t ever shown it to him, because I didn’t want him to be afraid…..
My heart thunders away beneath the sheets of metal and gold, and from behind the horned mask my eyes flash, gentleness gone and the edge of a warrior in its place, “Gaze upon me not as a babe with fear and a trembling heart, but as a man--for you desire something that is not childish…." Staring down at him through masked eyes I add gently, "Think upon this, and answer me honestly....do you still want to fight by my side?” My purpose was not frighten, but to make Cera realize the full weight of this choice. It was his alone to make, I couldn’t make it for him; nor could I protect him forever.
| Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit |
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER |
| Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel |
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
”I won’t let you be hurt,” what he didn’t understand was, most things were going to hurt. It was hurting now, talking to him like this; but what else did he expect? Speaking words of war and battle was to have the desire to grow an extra few inches more than anyone wanted or expected. Sighing heavily I knew that this wasn’t going anywhere fast, he moved from me as if my head had become detached from body. At least the point had been made, yet his fear scent and wide eyes send waves of sorrow throughout my veins, and makes my resolve shatter.
”You can’t make me watch you leave while I do nothing!”
I stare him through the mask, wishing/praying for greater understanding, and knowing that it only came from heartbroken experience. There would be more moments like this, many times ahead where we just flat out disagreed. But these tests also gave us a chance to become stronger because of it. I knew that one day he would be grown; and would understand the world and its horrors.
Both of us loved the other completely, without strings or expectations attached. The only downside to such love was that you gave the other person power to cause harm in ways that were sometimes beyond that of physical pain. His wings are fully extended, ready to fly away and this wounds me more than anything; knowing that he would chose to run away from me. The one person that was trying so earnestly to appease and make a young mind understand the gravity of words and actions.
What I did, I did out of concern for him.
My armor slowly slips away, plates sliding to reveal flesh bit by bit. Smooth as liquid it glides until finally falling back into place as a lightened collar. The demonstration wouldn’t be needed for anything more in our conversation,”You can’t stop me, and you won’t!” He very nearly shouts, my auds and body flex, posed still as a statue. I listen and then offer softly, “I’m not going to stop you Cera, and I never will…you are free to make whatever choice must lead you.” Pain makes my voice tight, but somehow low. Like the rumbling of thunder during a storm. Despite the sturdiness it carries, I am stricken on the inside--weakened by this and many other things.
Who would hear my pleas and fears?
“It is my duty, and privilege to defend this family—to rob someone of their purpose and desire would be like me forcefully binding you away for speaking out.” What could I do? He seemed far too upset to see past anger and fear, “I have left for war before and returned didn’t I? Can you not trust me enough to come back again and again?” My tone turns nearly pleading, trying to reach him. Heavily these limbs once again fold, but skull and neck remain lifted.
My head falls a little, its weight plus invisible cords upon my shoulders seem too much to carry right now, “Please Cera, run if you want, cool off if you have the need. But know my feelings on this matter, as I have heard yours.” Lost. Lost without a father of my own to give direction for how this was supposed to work, I was still very young and not entirely sure of how to raise a growing stallion. “I love you son.” Swallowing hard my voice lowers to a whisper, “and it is for that love that I chose to send you away when the battle comes to our soils, so you don’t have to witness the bloodshed and desire of others. So that you may remain safe, for if anything was to happen….”
The memory of you. Norse. Comes screeching in my mind at full force, with each moment the fires of your light burn brighter and brighter, “Can’t you see Cera….I don’t know what else you want me to do—I am bound as you are.” Wanting to find a solution to both our problems I press another question, “What would you have me do?”
”You can’t make me watch you leave while I do nothing!”
I stare him through the mask, wishing/praying for greater understanding, and knowing that it only came from heartbroken experience. There would be more moments like this, many times ahead where we just flat out disagreed. But these tests also gave us a chance to become stronger because of it. I knew that one day he would be grown; and would understand the world and its horrors.
Both of us loved the other completely, without strings or expectations attached. The only downside to such love was that you gave the other person power to cause harm in ways that were sometimes beyond that of physical pain. His wings are fully extended, ready to fly away and this wounds me more than anything; knowing that he would chose to run away from me. The one person that was trying so earnestly to appease and make a young mind understand the gravity of words and actions.
What I did, I did out of concern for him.
My armor slowly slips away, plates sliding to reveal flesh bit by bit. Smooth as liquid it glides until finally falling back into place as a lightened collar. The demonstration wouldn’t be needed for anything more in our conversation,”You can’t stop me, and you won’t!” He very nearly shouts, my auds and body flex, posed still as a statue. I listen and then offer softly, “I’m not going to stop you Cera, and I never will…you are free to make whatever choice must lead you.” Pain makes my voice tight, but somehow low. Like the rumbling of thunder during a storm. Despite the sturdiness it carries, I am stricken on the inside--weakened by this and many other things.
Who would hear my pleas and fears?
“It is my duty, and privilege to defend this family—to rob someone of their purpose and desire would be like me forcefully binding you away for speaking out.” What could I do? He seemed far too upset to see past anger and fear, “I have left for war before and returned didn’t I? Can you not trust me enough to come back again and again?” My tone turns nearly pleading, trying to reach him. Heavily these limbs once again fold, but skull and neck remain lifted.
My head falls a little, its weight plus invisible cords upon my shoulders seem too much to carry right now, “Please Cera, run if you want, cool off if you have the need. But know my feelings on this matter, as I have heard yours.” Lost. Lost without a father of my own to give direction for how this was supposed to work, I was still very young and not entirely sure of how to raise a growing stallion. “I love you son.” Swallowing hard my voice lowers to a whisper, “and it is for that love that I chose to send you away when the battle comes to our soils, so you don’t have to witness the bloodshed and desire of others. So that you may remain safe, for if anything was to happen….”
The memory of you. Norse. Comes screeching in my mind at full force, with each moment the fires of your light burn brighter and brighter, “Can’t you see Cera….I don’t know what else you want me to do—I am bound as you are.” Wanting to find a solution to both our problems I press another question, “What would you have me do?”
| Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit |
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER |
| Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel |
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
”What if you don’t this time?”
What if? I frowned and felt his words tug on a string inside breast; this pressing concern wasn’t something that I wanted to think about. It was often pushed to the darkest corners of my soul because as mortals we often thought ourselves to be invincible; never wondering about death and its grasping fingers that so often robbed us of life as a thief in the night. To have it so bluntly pushed forward made it feel ever more tangible and frightening. Frightening enough that my instinct as a guardian was to question the weight of duties, what if I didn’t come back? What would happen to Cera?
Even considering the possibility of being permanently separated made my heart and stomach sick with dread. Nauseous, I forcefully pushed this ‘what if’ aside and closed eyes, taking a slow breath and closing mouth seemed to help with the sudden rush of sickness. As a parent, as a father, nothing was more important to me than returning to the warm embrace of friends and family.
I wondered for a mere second that perhaps me taking on the role of ‘General,’ was a big mistake. But amidst my surge of concern your face comes to mind, Ktulu. My dragging fears lift ever so slightly and clarity comes as welcomed friend. Again, I fall back to her with safe knowledge that even if I was too part from this world—she would surely step up to care for him in my place.
This precious child.
Without him, my world would tip on its axel and possibly chuck me off. Imagining a life that didn’t include him was like imagining my wings suddenly clipped. He was the focal point of my existence, the reason I fought day in and day out. He stole breath, and gave endless surprises with each new dawn. It kept me young and with vigor, but it also aged this body beyond its years. They say you grow up when a child comes into your life, and already I felt like a tired old man.
His face is close to mine, small muzzle pressed into my cheeks. It is upon them that I feel wetness, he is crying; fear and anger finally wane. ”I-I love you too daddy.” My left wing slips out to touch him, the feather brushing across what parts they could reach and shadowing head from the sun. His scent is warm and comforting, familiar, family. ”I-I don’t want you to be hurt, dad.”
What could I say? The feeling was mutual. My lips slide open to gape like a fish; but no words come forth to offer anything that would further aid my case and earn his trust. Pulling him closer, while also being mindful of were Ilaria likely rested between lithe shoulders; l snuggle until we were but a heartbeat from each other and I simply hold him there. Wishing my soul could reach in and forcefully remove all bad memories for us both. Sink back into a time when he was younger, less corrupt, and without pressing wound that took turns ravaging us both. My neck twists over his lean body, shadowing and covering in a warmth that isn’t needed because of Tallsun; but we both had need for physical contact in this moment.
“You must trust my judgment, trust that I can protect you. Trust that I will return again.” I speak wholeheartedly and gently, soft as fur. “I also need you to do something for me when that time comes, something very important.” Pulling back a little, my gaze tries to catch his eye. Bottomless stare a pool of melted honey, that he would recognize and hopefully find comfort in.
| Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5 |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE |
| Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit |
02-21-2013, 11:56 PM
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER |
| Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel |
BEYOND HERE LIES NOTHING
We all would meet the final death eventually, it was only a matter of where, when, and how. My (where) was hopefully on the battlefield, which was the base desire of many a warrior--to be felled by a worthy opponent. Cera was right to shelter fear that a more powerful enemy would one day take this life and throw it aside like yesterday’s gossip. But it wouldn’t be in this moment, and I would try my damnst to make sure that it wasn’t during his time of growth. If luck would have it, this pitiful excuse for a guardian that my child so loved, would be able to make it long enough to at least see him fully grown and capable of handling himself.
I felt honored to have his love, nearly unworthy of it. Perhaps that was the reason I tried so hard to not fail him and keep being that stronghold of protection his young mind looked up too. If it all boiled down to the truth, I wanted to follow the hoofprints of my mother and father; I wanted to not only be his daddy, but his hero. Unfortunately the eve would come when my efforts fell aside, and this proud warrior would let him down. My prayer was that such a day came later rather than sooner.
”I w-will trust you.”
His word finally gave tangible acceptance to an unwinnable battle. I nodded once in approval to his submission and hoped that it wouldn’t be left to waste. It was trust we gave each other now that his word given, it was my turn to believe that he would hold to it. Cera wasn’t a dishonest cherub, so this mind had very few doubts that his intetion would turn from a promise. Still, I sought to further seal this between us by giving him something useful to do, “I need you to keep Fina when we go to war--be it now or a little later.” Glancing up at the beautiful fiery bird I added reason behind the request, “She is yet a baby and still only a season old, I don’t want her to get hurt during the fray….will you please guard her for me?” Fina wouldn’t be pleased to hear she was getting left behind, and already I could sense her picking around in my skull to find out why her name was mentioned. She was deviously clever.
I felt honored to have his love, nearly unworthy of it. Perhaps that was the reason I tried so hard to not fail him and keep being that stronghold of protection his young mind looked up too. If it all boiled down to the truth, I wanted to follow the hoofprints of my mother and father; I wanted to not only be his daddy, but his hero. Unfortunately the eve would come when my efforts fell aside, and this proud warrior would let him down. My prayer was that such a day came later rather than sooner.
”I w-will trust you.”
His word finally gave tangible acceptance to an unwinnable battle. I nodded once in approval to his submission and hoped that it wouldn’t be left to waste. It was trust we gave each other now that his word given, it was my turn to believe that he would hold to it. Cera wasn’t a dishonest cherub, so this mind had very few doubts that his intetion would turn from a promise. Still, I sought to further seal this between us by giving him something useful to do, “I need you to keep Fina when we go to war--be it now or a little later.” Glancing up at the beautiful fiery bird I added reason behind the request, “She is yet a baby and still only a season old, I don’t want her to get hurt during the fray….will you please guard her for me?” Fina wouldn’t be pleased to hear she was getting left behind, and already I could sense her picking around in my skull to find out why her name was mentioned. She was deviously clever.
