I think back to mine and Phae's conversation that day on the edge of the Throat's land. She had joked then about me getting pregnant - but I had taken it as just that, a joke. Still, though, when she left, I found myself thinking more and more about starting a family. I found myself wandering what our foal would look like, if Note would be a good father... if I would be a good mother. I wondered what it would be like to carry that life inside me, to feel something so precious, so valuable, grow within me. I wondered how bad the pain would be when I gave birth - I've heard stories, of course, what mare hasn't? But I'm sure it cannot compare to the reality.
And then I had come across Azeen in the Threshold - Azzen and Note. And he had seemed to get along with her, and I loved him all the more for it. And again I found myself wondering what our family would be like. I may have adopted Azeen, but we did not share that bond that I was sure I would have with my own, that bond created by carrying them and nursing them and taking care of them. And so my desire had continued, sparked, perhaps, by Phae's questioning, but by no means caused by it. And that day in the Fields had been so effortless, so natural, so easy...
"Of course not, Phae," I answer with a rueful smile. "You got me thinking about it, sure, but after Note and I talked about a family... well it was just the natural process." My tone is amused, perhaps even a bit joking, as I had voiced concerns to her that day about what it would be like, to give myself to Note in that way.
"talk talk talk"
Live... I want to live on fire
Die... I want to burn out brighter
Brighter than the northern lights
Want to live to feel the daylight
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