She would know his call anywhere. Right now, she both dreaded and craved to be by his side again. How long could they possibly manage to ride this roller-coaster? With its never-ending highs and lows? But when they were high, as in that night in the grove....it was so sweet and overwhelming, that it seemed to swell up and simply erase all of the lows. It was an all consuming sort of passion, a craving - an itch - that demanded to be satisfied. It called out to her, burning in the back of her mind every time that she thought they should just give up on whatever was happening, but she couldn't. She would always go back to him.

Closing her sunken eyes, she sighed miserably. She had initially wanted to avoid everyone, due to the pregnancy. To hide out in the Deep Woods, protected by her Grey family from prying eyes. But as the Moon Goddess’s curse fell upon her, she found that even that no longer was an option. Where could she go, to hide herself from the world? Originally, Phae thought herself so completely hideous, that no one would recognize her. That idealistic notion had been shattered when she encountered Sohalia on the beach - her friend had recognized her almost instantly. Not ugly enough, you bitch She thought furiously, directing her rage and anger at the Goddess who did this to her.

But now Tolio had found her, and she could do nothing but go to him - wanted nothing more than to go to him, but not like this.

Phaedra moved with a different sort of silence, than she had before. Now, her movements were dampened simply because her body had decreased so much in size. Her chest was sunken, leaving her shoulder-bones stretching painfully through her dull coat. Her mane and tail had lost each and every hair, and many of her feathers had fallen off, making her incapable of flight. Although her body was withered and had aged several years, her belly was still swollen with life, pressing out against her ribby-sides. What would the cinnamon stallion think of her, as she was? Perhaps Tolio’s adoration only extended to her so long as she remained beautiful and shiny? Had his love not wavered when her emotions became ugly, that day on the Steppe? What would he do now that she was physically ugly as well?

Moving into the meadow and into his view, she gulped down the lump in her throat. The last time she had seen him, she told him of his foal growing in her belly - and the time before that she was covered in his love-sweat, his scent mingling in her golden curls. Now, she was emaciated and withered, a husk of what she had been before. Would her apology sound as sweet and sincere, falling from chapped lips? Keeping her eyes low, unable to meet his mercury stare, too ashamed to see the horror that was undoubtedly in his eyes, she paused a few feet away.

She had been foolish in the grove - not simply foolish in act, but also in the manner with which she handled his thoughts on what to do about their relationship. Phae had never been close with anyone before, and in that instant all her mind could formulate was how to avoid the pain of Tolio breaking her heart once again. After some careful consideration, she wondered how she had been so painfully stupid. He was trying to find ways to keep her safe, the very thing she had chastised him so brutally about! All it would have taken was a patient ear, and she was sure they would have come up with something....they were both quite clever, were they not? And Tolio was gay for God’s sake, how hard would it be to convince anyone that they weren't together?

”I’ve been thinking...” She began, prepared to say everything that had just run through her mind, but as she began, the words clogged in her throat. Tears stung her sunk milky green gaze as she finally raised her eyes to him. ”I’m so sorry! “ She finally gasped, taking a hesitant step forward. ”I didn’t mean to...I...I just thought ... “ Shaking her head, she sighed, frustrated at how hard this was. ”I thought you were saying it was over...that you were done with me.”. She managed finally, her voice low and solemn. ”Whatever you think is best we’ll do...even...ev-” Her lip began to tremble, and she found herself turning to look to her left, to keep him from seeing the pain etching across her features. If Tolio was going to leave her...Well, she would try to make it as easy as possible. She hadn’t realized until recently, just how easily her words and actions could offend him. He was...much more sensitive than she was.

”Even if it means we aren't together..” She whispered finally. She held her breath as she waited for his response, constantly reminding herself that she was in the wrong here, not him, regardless of how her mind wanted to twist things to alleviate herself from some of the burden.