Blackness seeped into the ebony as the moon shone. He was feeling crazier than normal, like a werewolf come back to insanity from the moonshine. He trotted through the darkness, finding purpose in the night. He would go find a mare that had the magic of illusion, one that he had hear from whispers in the mists and off in the distance. She was the leader of the World’s Edge, where Thor lived. Her name is Mirage. Interesting that she had illusion magic, and her name meant illusion. Golden wings, now soaked in black, spread and took the air, sucking the ebony hybrid up in the air with the momentum he kept. He flew now, and let the stars guide him to his brother’s home. He didn’t think about him image, for it pained him too much. But this was some thing to think of another time. He was in too much of a great mood to let one thing destroy him, and he wanted to be a true uninterrupted creature of the night. Black hooves touched the ground running, and wings folded at he reached the border. The stars seemed to shine brighter here, and he wondered if there was anyone on watch, but from what he saw there was no one. Walking firmly he furthered his night sky body, spreading his wings again so he could be seen better, or at least had more shape.
“I call to me the one named Mirage, the leader of this land. I bring you not harm, I simply wish to talk to you, and I’m here on some personal business.”

She approached, black as the sky in the current state of the night. She looked at me, and I could sense there was a tension, though one that I did not expect. I folded myself up, wondering if there was something I had done wrong, but I wouldn’t know. I tried to make myself look presentable, keeping my body lithe and a walked forward just a bit to be within talking distance. The mare was almost shimmering, her black pelt hidden beneath the shadows of light in the forest. He cocked his head, very interested in seeing this, but he was unsure if it was her magic or not.

“You must be Mirage, Weyrleader of the World’s Edge. You probably already know I am Loki, related to Thor. I am on a quest from the Gods of Light and Time, and I was wondering if there was a possibility of you helping. I am supposed to find one with illusion magic, and have them show it to me. If you could I would be grateful. That is all I wish to accomplish tonight, and maybe speak of something else with you…”

I look at her, uncertain if I should bring it up. My brother. I miss him, and he hurt me, as I know I hurt him. I deserve it, and I ran away from him. “There is a reason why I am an outcast, and it’s because I’m a monster. Please tell me…is my brother alright here? Is he happy? I probably don’t deserve to know, saying that he disowned me, but I only want the best for him…”

Tears well on my green eyes, and one starts sinking down my black muzzle, but they stop. I will not cry in front of her, and I move my head, using my hair to cover my face, trying to hide my emotions. This is not the time or place for such things, and I only wish to get my answers and leave, never coming back, or at least for the moment.

Had I been able to sense his presence even before I accidently stumbled upon him in the company of the Dragonheart? Whatever influenced me to simply stand and stare once I had walked into what appeared to be tense conversation was merely an oath to leave with Mirage at my side or the brink of insanity. I was not charmed to see him, not happy to invite him into my open embrace and surely not tempted to her out whatever schemes he planned to whisper so quietly into my waiting ears. His lies had tainted his reputation and clearly broken the only ties we once shared. Even the way that his voice was held above me in the open air made me cringe, especially since it was so arrogantly directed at Mirage. I had seen many things and heard many things but nothing had ever resonated so negatively with me as much as Loki and his undying faith in his “art of seduction.” I half expected him to be on his knees before my equal in title and opinion. Even looking upon her barren gaze was enough to inform me of her reservations for the stallion I was supposed to call my brother.

But he was clearly no brother of mine.

Moving forward, I found my place alongside Mirage, whereupon I gently pushed a shoulder into her own- a gesture to allow her knowledge of my support. I would find that whatever sentiment she adhered would be sentiments we shared. I did not want to end up like the power-hungry lush, Leander, and I planned to find a way to make sure that whatever Mirage wanted, she got. However, the tail-end of my brother’s conversation had certainly caught my attention. I had grown hard in my anger for him but I could not help but feel slightly guilty at denying him the chance to succeed. If there was a way to move quickly and painlessly through his request, then perhaps I could assist Mirage in a solution. I knew that she was hard to sway once determined and I knew that she cared not for the stallion who sought her company, but I knew that her heart was not so cold.

Though, when tears began to well within my brother’s eyes, I can do nothing but still before him. I looked to Mirage for guidance or an answer to such unexplained behavior, knowing that she would provide me the strength to move forward through whatever was to come of the strange events. Why was he crying? Was he so weak and frail that he could not stand the thought of my anger? I wasn’t sure if I could forgive him but the least I could allow him was the smallest sympathy. I needed to be rid of his memory forever and if that meant reconciling with the brother that I had not seen in years, for him to be on his way, then I would have to do it. But I was not ready for such drastic measures, not yet.

“Loki, dry your eyes. I cannot save you from what you’ve become and I certainly hope it is not forgiveness you seek, but I am willing to help you complete this quest if Mirage is given peace soon after. Her heart is not connected to yours and therefore finds no pity in your acts of childishness. Brother, pull yourself together and perhaps we can come to an agreement.”

I looked quickly to Mirage to confirm her allowance before I continue. I did not want to offend her honor or make her seem insignificant when it came to my brother, but I felt that I could not send him away without so much as s single farewell. “Mirage, if you would allow me this one small favor in exchange for Loki’s word- a promise to vacate the Edge forever- I would be forever in your debt.” I could feel the strain upon my tongue as the words found clearance from my chest and for a moment I wondered if what I had said was even real. Turning back to Loki, I smiled half-heartedly, prepared to change his course before he found himself in a hole so deep that even I could no longer rescue him from the Dragonheart’s wrath. “And you brother, if you intend to call upon a lead then you must learn to do so properly. If it is a favor that you seek then you must ask politely, though I can’t promise that it will be easily given.”

Thor

All I can do is simply stare at him, eyes of liquid poison dripping. I cry more by his harsh words; I know this endeavor was foolish. Of course he would show up, come to me and blame me for my shortcomings, for he obviously has none in everyone’s eyes. In his family’s eyes. I laugh, a bitter harsh one, filled with malice and my true anger at him. I want to lash out, want to make him feel the pain he has caused me. But I cannot now, not at this moment. I feel myself shake, and I take what he has given me, and throw it back in his face.

“This is a quarrel I don’t want to start now, but you give me no choice. I came here on a mission from the Gods, questing for cloning magic. My thinking led me to believe that Mirage could help me with a special magic I was told to look for. I was told to find illusion magic, and to have it displayed in front of me or upon myself. Being a leader, you must have some sort of magic, and seeing that this place is filled with mist and fog, I thought it would be best to search here first.” I stop, trying to keep myself steady, but I can’t. I’m faltering, falling down from heaven, and I know it. I am at the bottom, on the brink of insanity. It was because of him. All because of him. And I would let him know it.

“But you. You! Tell me, what have I become? An empty shell of your long lost brother? DO YOU KNOW WHY? Because I had to watch not only my mother, but also yours die in vain as they tried to save me. ME. Do you know how that feels, so sit there and think that you are so worthless as to have two of those I truly loved dead? And what of you, dear brother, and Odin? You scattered away, running, while Mother and I were lost from you. Do you think I wanted any of this? I ran away with my life, I was a yearling, running from horses twice my size, going to stab me through the heart with their horns or stomp my head open with blood hooves. I had to travel for days without food, water, or sleep before I could rest. And I cried, cried and cried and cried. I’ve traveled every single damn fucking day since then to find you and Odin.”

“Oh, and do you know why I didn’t tell you that Amora was dead when I first got here? Because I didn’t want to bother you in your new home. You’ve been here, joining a new herd, doing things with them, and I didn’t want to bother you with that. I wanted to talk to you alone, but I wanted to find you when you were alone, because I thought it would be better then. And about my child, that was none of your business. Yes, my child did die, and you had no right to say anything about it. That was my first child Thor, your first niece or nephew. Oh, but I forgot, since I was such an ass to you and was “sleeping around” instead of telling you, you disowned me. I’ve done so many things to find you, to get away from the war. I still have nightmares and I wake up crying over Amora.” Tears fall in sheets now, and I can’t stop. My mouth still moves, but my breath is in shaky gasps, and my whole body shakes with me. I look at him, glaring at him with my green poison eyes.

“I wish I never found you. I hope you know that. I now know that it was all in vain trying to find you, and I was just being stupid. The one thing you’ve never know Thor, is that I loved you. AS MY BROTHER! You were my only brother, and the only thing I have left, and now I see you don’t need me, that you’ve never needed me. But I need you; I’ve always needed you. You’re supposed to be my big brother…but I guess you forgot. And to think, I wanted to come live with you, to rejoin your family, so that we could spend the rest of our years together. But no, not anymore I guess. I…I guess I have to leave. You don’t want me, and with that I’ll be gone, not just from the Edge, but from all of Helovia.”

I’m still shaking, sobbing now, crying until my eyes are blurry. My head starts to hurt, and all the anger is from me. “I just want my brother. That’s all I want. My big brother, my big brother Thor.” I whisper it, and I fall to my knees, silently crying in the midst of Mirage the Dragonheart and my newly named Thor the Gentle Heart. But he is not gentle to me, and I don’t know if he ever will be again. I think of everything I’ve done for him, all the troubles I went through just to get here. Sure, I’m mischievous, but I’m young. It’s just in my nature to be like this, and I hope to mature out when I get older, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters if I have nothing to live for, and even Angora won’t give me something to live for. What does the living have to live for if all their hopes and dreams have died?

“If you have no words, nothing for me, then I will go. I suppose this is goodbye then, my old brother Thor. Please, give your mate and my new niece my well wishes, and I will give you some as well. I’m not asking for pity, for I don’t deserve it. I just want an answer. Just a simple answer…” I look outward up to the moon, which is now covered by clouds. I hang my head, keeping my solemn ebony body on the ground, were my soul seems to be trapped. I wish to end this, to be free, and I consider the possibility. What can I do to set myself free from the traps I’ve laid?

Had I not laid eyes on weakness? Had I not given purpose to his quest? Anger raged up, swelling selfishly throughout my chest before finding its way to my throat in the form of a menacing rumble. “Do not test my patience Loki. I have been more than giving in your endeavors.” I motioned towards Mirage, my eyes clouding with anger that had been too long suppressed. Whatever force that had once lain dormant in my selfless existence had all but remained in slumber. “My debts have been paid in her name and if you wish to question my incentives then they will be answered. However, your apologies are more than warranted here.” An unwavering gaze begins to form intentions as I step forth from alongside Mirage. From my shifting sides, magnificently malformed appendages extend in an attempt to usher her away from the golden-horned stallion. I had no misconceptions that she would be able to handle herself against Loki’s outburst, but this was my battle and I intended to settle it here and now.

Visions of my mother’s face seemed to overwhelm me and I couldn’t help but indulge in the slight tremble that shook me from head to toe. Her kind eyes had been replaced with the darkness of death and her warmth had been sapped into the arms of hell itself. I didn’t care to hear his excuses; I didn’t want to hear those syllables roll off of his lips… ever again. “Your greed cannot be replaced with forgiveness. I will not let you come in between my happiness anymore. Have you no sense? No wit? Or have you completely forgotten all of the pain that I left so long ago?” Again, my hooves find the ground closing between us until I can nearly taste the musty forest air upon his tattered hide. A soft rumbling of warning grew from deep within and I found that I was quickly losing myself to his taunts. If he wanted to bring the ghosts from the past back to life, then I surely wouldn’t stand in his way.

“Amora kept you under lock and key brother and purely in the name of selfishness. My wellbeing was not of importance to her and she only proved that theory when she sacrificed her first son for the sake of her second.” The truth was not something that ever settled easily with me no matter how many times I told myself it was for the best. Her loving caress, her tender gaze… none of it was ever mine. I was not surprised to find that Loki had turned out to be so much like our mother. However, their resemblance was nearly shocking and upon finding the blame forced once again upon my shoulders, I could do little more than self-combust.

Behind gritted teeth the soft grumbling had turned into a mild roaring. “Do not look for sympathy here Loki for I’ve none to give. Perhaps you need to take some time learning about yourself before trying to lay blame where none is needed. However, I would not see such done here- get out. And do not come back. Your beloved Amora saved you from yourself back then, but she cannot keep you safe forever.” The threat had rolled effortlessly across my tongue and before I knew it, there was nothing I could do to stop myself from walking away. I had no desire to look upon my past any longer. I had finally resolved to let it die and with it, my brother.

Thor