it has come to pass...

Nadira watched his expression closely as his features softened. Her body tensed some, becoming lightly rigid. How could she feel relaxed with a soft expression bestowed her and after just a day of interacting with a stallion who acted twitterpated around her? She blinked a couple times at his response to her inquiry. She wondered where he planned on staying. She still had yet to truly decided herself. Butterflies had now invaded her essence, and she grew subtly agitated. As he tossed his locks to readjust their position, she sensed a confrontation coming and flicked one ear back, but kept the remaining one forward. She didn’t want to seem too standoffish.

As his speech prolonged, her thoughts ran rampant. If I’d let you? Of course I will let you, but I would wish you wouldn’t ask anything of me. She started thinking to herself. I suppose this isn’t such a horrible place to have a private discussion, seeing as really no one is around… Quicky, she grazed the terrain to double take her surroundings, hoping no one was within ear shot of their conversation, or even witnessing anything. She hated rumors and hated all the drama that went along with it. Especially if it was about her, or even included her in it. Finding no one of threat, she turned her gaze back upon the dark stallion that had taken her breath away only a day or so ago.

“I wanted ter ask why ya left without me?” Why I left? Inwardly, she frowned at his accusation. I left because there was nothing left for me there. I left to clear my head and my thoughts. To take control over these unexplainable emotions that run wild within me. I ran because facing the truth scares me more than anything else. That is why I left. She could not verbally speak this. She did not want what she knew Tharos would provide. She did not want to be dependent on another living being. She didn’t want to feel helpless. In all honesty, she didn’t want to be vulnerable.

“ I only asked ya ter stay 'cause I wanted ter speak with ya when I got rounds ter feelin' better. had ter have somepony point me in the righ' direction and track yer scent from them bearin's.” Nadira slightly cringed at his statement, as it wouldn’t have been that difficult to stay, but it sure would have been uncomfortable in the homeland of new herd mates. She couldn’t imagine asking directions to find another who had left, in hopes of finding them. Whoever had guided him, had obviously been paying attention to her. She wondered whom, as it could possibly have been Torsin, and if it had been, she would have understood then.

Nadira drew her attention away from her distracting thoughts, and back to Tharos. ”I jus'... wan'ed you ter be straight with me. “ Straight? With you? How do you expect me to be straight with you when you are practically hovering over me like a new found puppy does his owner? And intense? Yeah, just a little. Throwing me for a loop is more like it. The words flooded her without hesitation and she had to hold her tongue, or they just could have slipped from her delicate maw. Now her butterflies were flustering her, and she could feel her heart creep up her slender nape. Oh how I wish he did not do this me. Torture me so. Why couldn’t the gods have intervened? She pondered, more in a pleading tone than a beggars.

”I would really like ter get ter know ya better, if'n you'd allow it, that is.” Get to know me? Now that is a bad idea. It was at this point, the opal figment came to an impasse and appeared to lose all concentration and the last of his statement. Threats of her past crowded her, clinging to her like saran wrap. How could she afford to trust another to betray her? How could she allow such an enticing invitation come knocking on her heart, when her head was screaming run! With every ounce of what was left of the sweet, trusting spirit she had, she wanted to give Tharos a chance to prove he was worthy of what she hoped he was. But that had almost cost her, her life the last time she had made that mistake.

Her intriguing gems filled with both longing and sorrow. She could feel herself recoil within the safety and confines of the barriers she had once built around her, to protect her from harm. Not necessarily to keep those she considered friends away from her, but to distance that potential of another hurt ego and broken heart. She watched as Tharos approached her, and her limbs fought with her body to back away. She grew physically tired as an inner war within drained all the energy she had to respond to his physical advance towards her. And then he stopped, with just enough breathing room for her to let out a small sigh of tension she had withheld.

Her physical statue remained to be moved, and she debated on her word choice. It was a delicate issue at hand, for she hated to hurt Tharos’s feelings, as that is precisely what would happen, whether or not he would admit it. But she couldn’t find enough courage to take a step of blind faith and cross the line that held her with a tight hand on the reins. She had been quiet now for quite sometime, and was sure he was wondering if she would ever say another word again. Maybe she should make a vow of silence. But what good would that do her?

Releasing a heavy sigh, a small fragile snort was exhaled, and she concluded it was now or never. Response or no response, he deserved at least answer for his travels and wonderings.

“Tharos,… I… I am not someone safe.”

Not safe was a good way to put it, if she wanted to be killed on the spot she supposed. But she wasn’t safe. If what scared her the most was not Tharos betraying her, it was herself betraying Tharos, and that would hurt more than torture itself to live with something like that, and if not betrayal, than black mail of an enemy. How did forbidden love work, anyway? Did it? Did forbidden love even exist? Did it last? She wondered how Tharos would react, what he would say. She waited, this time. Not like in the Foothills, but did it matter?



OMG.... sorry this is sooooooo long, but I thought expressing her thought process would be crucial and vital.