það var farið að skyggja og fuglarnir þagnaðir And there they were, face to face in the soft snowfall, two broken souls. Washed-out frost met blue-tinged silver in the lightening darkness, but for all it mattered, you could've switched the souls beneath and the look wouldn't have changed. Mauja had once been in perfect control of his own body, down to every single twitch, a lid like the ice upon a lake resting just behind his iris — but these days, the waters beneath were too deep and too restless, refusing to stay caged and hidden. Even when he wished his body to mask the exhaustion and confusion, the bitterness and the sadness, it shone through in the cracks, in the tired stance visible like a shadow beneath the regal posture. He tried to remember the exuberant chestnut, next to the heavily injured Faelene, burns stretching uncomfortably on her skin. He tried to remember those very eyes, like a sky not quite sure whether to be clouded or not, and how bright they had seemed. But that was in the past, just like the Frostheart of control. It was a thing that had come to pass, and as neither of them seemed to know exactly what they stood upon anymore, they were both lost. Even if he had wished to keep it from Tolio, he knew that the chestnut stallion knew. He could see it in his eyes.

Mismatched legs drew him forward, but Mauja remained in place as he let Tolio come to him. Ophelia had once told him that he was charismatic, able to attract followers with a stunning loyalty, but in his state of bitter weakness he couldn't help but wonder if Tolio still would've welded his soul to his if he'd met him like this. It was foolish to ponder, though. He should be grateful for what he had, and so, he let his eyes close when their muzzles met, warm breaths mingling. It always struck him how soft the tip of a horse's nose was, plush and velvet all at once, and as he looked at nothing but the darkness of his eyelids he placed the knowledge of Tolio's scent somewhere deep in his mind. Then, his eyes opened, white lids slowly drawing back to reveal the tired blue, and as cold space separated them again he saw the faint smile. His own dark lips curled into a similar one, a shadow of the one he'd worn so often, a curl on one side the corner of his mouth. Even tired horses could smile.

But then he was speaking, in a roundabout way asking Mauja what bothered him, before calling him King and slowly sinking down in an elaborate bow. He had not been King in a long time, yet he could not take his eyes off Tolio.. could not mock his respect. He swallowed, instead. He'd never been one to force others to their knees or even demand they call him your grace or King — he'd never wanted the loyalty of their tongues, only of their souls. "You know there is no need to bow before me, Tolio," he said gently, quietly, on a whim reaching out to brush his dark muzzle across Tolio's red shoulder. But then, he was silent, moving his head to the side to allow him up without knocking together, his eyes searching for those odd almost-blue again. He had a feeling Tolio had something to say, more than just how are you?, and he waited in patient silence, ears tipped forward and his tired, open gaze unclouded.

And then, the chestnut began.

"I...I wish this conversation didn't have to be the first we had upon your return," he said, and Mauja thought, no, we should've spoken long ago when I just came home. In how many ways had he failed his herd, by never finding the time to seek them out one on one, to let them know he cared, appreciated, still breathed for them? But this was not about his shortcomings — this was about Tolio, and he wrenched his mind from his own abyss and listened. He said he wished to leave, but with Mauja's blessing, and though his 'brows furrowed slightly in concern he did not interrupt, only gave his head a little tilt. He confessed to having children, and Mauja wondered if he'd felt the unconditional love one could only feel for them, not even for their mothers — he confessed to having had them with a Pegasus, and when he tentatively called Psyche Mauja's "replacement", a humorless smile curved his lips. He mentioned Faelene, the mare who had brought him to Mauja's sorry band of outcasts, and one of his ears fell back. The red-maned certainly had a way of attracting broken stallions and piecing parts of them together, even if she didn't mean to, though guilt stabbed at him again when he thought of her and Sielu.

"There is no way I can explain how I feel or felt to you, but I am no longer the Tolio I was when I first met you my King. I need to find him again." His breathing indicated a pause of sorts, and Mauja let him gaze into his eyes; not even the revelation that he'd slept with a Pegasus had turned his gaze away from Tolio, nor closed the open doors just beneath. "Perhaps you could find the King, too, while you're at it," he mumbled quietly, wondering if some fragment of his soul lay trapped in the wastelands of that alternate dimension. But still, Mauja said no more than that, knowing that Tolio was not done, merely.. gathering his scattered thoughts. Patiently he waited, wishing to hear it to the end, to.. understand, perhaps, though he did not need words for that. Mauja knew what it was like to be broken.

His tongue started moving again, words rolling off them and into the dawn. At the question, Mauja's white head inclined slightly, though he still did not speak, and Tolio went on, to say that Psyche would never be his leader the way Mauja was (and again, he was struck by Phi's words — at least in this case, it seemed true, and he wondered what he'd done to deserve such devotion), and back to the subject of his twin girls.. he felt a stab in his heart at the break in Tolio's voice, and committed their names to memory. Hotaru and Raeden. Of course he would not turn them away; it was not their fault a Pegasus had birthed them. And slowly, the chestnut finished by saying that he knew Mauja was broken, drawing another humorless smile from him.

The silence seemed so loud.

After many long moments the snowbeast gave his shoulders a shrug, and the white which had gathered along his back slid down his sides to fall at his feet. Slowly he drew forward, closing the distance between them again and bringing his muzzle to Tolio's cheek. Quietly he held it there, before withdrawing. "Tolio. I wish I could have been here, for you. The last thing I wanted was to be where I was, and now that I am back..." He shrugged, again. He was too late, too late to save a lot of things, even himself. "But you're right. I know what you feel like, and in a way, I envy you, because you can leave." Mauja had to remain here, and try to piece himself together or lose everything. "And of course I will let Hotaru and Raeden live here, should they wish." For a moment he looked aside, not quite sure what to say, what to do.. his gaze fell to the snow as his head came lower. "You will always have a place by my side. It will be waiting for you, when you return." He hesitated for a moment, then said, "I will be waiting for you,". His ears fell back in a sad expression. "As for me.. I am not sure anyone but myself can fix me." He hitched his head up a little higher again, turning to Tolio again with a ghost of his warm smile. "Don't worry about me."
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