the Rift


you fell down, so get back up kid. [JUDGE]

Onni the Illuminant Posts: 194
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Mare :: Pegasus :: 15.2hh :: 8 Buff: SWIFT
Lyhty :: Diamond Firetail Finch :: Sing Boom Boom!
#9
 nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.</style>
image by jason-samfield @ flickr.com</style>

The blur of noise, the mare can hear the call of another in the darkness. Recognition is not found in her mind, though, the spooked girl continuing through her motions of violence in order to escape the clutches of another. The painted frame of the mare twists to buck out at her, legs reaching their extension quickly, colliding with hooves that slice at her own legs, tearing some skin on her cannons and leaving horrible stinging, like a paper cut, that causes a weak grunt to peel from Onni's lips as her legs are pull back down to the earth, pushing her forward into the air.

The wind cuts at her new wounds, even as blood begins to drop steadily from them. Such thin skin leads to painful, bloody injuries. Onni knew that they were not as serious as they felt, but the pain had made her shudder into feeling the building exhaustion brought on by this physical activity. However, now in flight, with wings extended, she could not give up this battle. She would not forfeit her life just because her lungs began to cry pleas of mercy. There was no time to quit.

Her hooves slam down on the trunk of the tree, stinging her legs and chest injured by her opponent, but she still bends at the knees and springs off, flinging herself back toward the figure in the dark. Her blue eyes do not see the silver tears fall in the sky near her, missing her body. However, the wings of fire extending from her back do not register as quickly as those glowing yellow eyes in the dark. Even as she flies toward the mare with deadly intent, Onni has no idea who she attacking. The vibrant glow of yellow from the eyes, however, shoots a prickly fear up her spine. It is not the same fear driving her violence, though. No, this fear is the one tied to our loved ones.

Onni has hurt the daughter of her beloved mentor, her friend. Guilty, in the dark, Onni pulls up her own legs, tilting her left wing down toward the ground, veering dangerously sideways as her body is twisted in an awkward arc to avoid touching Tares even once more. Barrel facing sideways, body lurching backwards, the bodies of the two mares almost parallel as Onni tries desperately to avoid attacking the black mare in the dark. Tares's left knee barely grazes Onni's right shoulder as she begins to straighten in the air, yet still causes her to turn harshly in the air once more.

Desperately, the tobiano allows her form to be sent backward, dropping from the air to the ground as her hooves catch the terrain, sliding backwards and causing a flurry of moss and leaves to be tossed into the air. Onni extends her feathered wings to avoid crashing to the ground or into a near by tree, skidding to a rather ungraceful halt. The pain of her back legs screams at her, as does her chest. "Tares," she gasps out, looking up at the flaming wings with frightened and tired eyes. "I am so very sorry." Regret lacing every syllable of her words.

How very shameful for a healer to cause pain to others.

[ Defense, 544 words ]


onni
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[ OOC COMMENTARY:

OKAY. So we talked a lot in the cbox about being especially careful when reading. I know I can get pretty wordy during my fights, so I'm sorry for causing so much confusion. :<

That being said, I think you really interpreted this post well. It was clear that after our clarification, you had a solid idea about what was going on in the battle. I don't think you had any deviations in plausibility or time constraints, and you understood well what I was trying to do.

I also have to give you a hand - Tares in this post is simply awesome. You really found a balance between her emotions during the fight as well as staying focused, which I think is important. I can see definite improvement in your focus from the last post to this one. Really, I felt connected with Tares.

The only thing I was confused about in this post was Arbutus. I wasn't really entirely sure where he was in the air to be able to possibly hit both Tares and Onni at that moment. After all, Onni is running away and Tares was standing still, so it didn't really add up to me. In the end, it wasn't a big deal because he was probably moving too. ^^

Your defense to the kick was not really what I would have done. You do not want to injure your character's legs. I would have pivoted, especially since Tares would likely be able to do that movement quickly, and allowed the kick to hit maybe her shoulder or even barrel. These are meatier areas which take damage better. Besides, a horse with a broken leg is not good! Don't tempt fate. Aside from the kick hitting her legs, a rear leaves your character very unbalanced. If Onni's kick had hit lower, like her stomach or chest, she could very easily have seriously injured or knocked over Tares. Just keep it in mind next time.

I think that's all I have. Good fight! & You're welcome, Alex. I don't mind sparring any time. ^^ ]


Messages In This Thread
RE: you fell down, so get back up kid. [open] - by Onni - 08-08-2012, 02:56 PM

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