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Dear Ma, my aunt and uncle, and Pa; or Romani, Kasai, Azel, and Xanthos,
I miss you, I miss you so much it hurts. I know I am growing up, and that I should need you less, but I still feel the need to be close to you so terribly strong, even if I would much rather become an adult. I need to grow up faster, but I cannot! I am a child, however much I try to deny it. Oh, I'm rambling, Ma; rambling about the same things, things you probably already know! But you must understand these mixed feelings, feelings between concern and the deepening weight of what feels the sky. I know Da and Ma are both very important in this herd, and you must be so busy, but sometimes I can't help but be jealous- I want time with you. Isn't that pathetic? I know it is! I'm already so much older than I was, and my first winter is swift approaching, but I want to feel Ma's gentle nuzzle on my cheek and Da's great silver side pressed against mine; I want to hide beneath your legs and dance in the beautiful flowers that wilt as the nights grow longer and the air chills. Nostalgia is the word, I think. Wanting to be somewhere back in time, and missing that time so desperately.
I cannot believe my age already! Gods above, I begin to rant and ramble miserably once more. Forgive me, family, for my silliness. I feel pathetically lonely sometimes. I am the youngest, I think, of the herd. Except for two new twins, but I am afraid to play with them, for they are spiked and scaled and born by a dragon-lord and the WeyrLeader. Yes, Ma, I know I should not judge on appearances, judge a book by its cover, but I dislike those spines, and they are too young to play with me anyways. Once I met Sakura and Luken, but they were so old, and Luken so big!
I know, I know. I shouldn't be intimidated by size, but I'm small! I can't stop it!
There is so much I need to tell you! I've been so behind on my letters, I'm terribly sorry. Have you noticed my improvement in grammar? I know adjectives. Listen to these- amiable, ardent, faithful, graceful, maternal. All of those are for you, Ma. And Da? Here are yours! Elusive, honest, lady-like, softie-hearted, cute-faced and big-eyed doe. Okay, maybe Da's aren't quite so serious! But speaking of you two, it was a grand day nearing sunset when I heard Ma calling for me, and off I trotted, striking out with fashionable strides and... I don't think I used that word right. Fashionable. Hmm. Maybe long? Elegant? Smooth? I think those sound better. ANYWHO, I went trotting off to you ready to give you a nice stern talking-to about your parenting methods and giving me attention.
But that all sort of melted when I saw you, and I came bounding forward with a wag of leonine tail, overjoyed like a small puppy to see you. I leaped and near-danced, prancing excitedly, and bumped my head against your legs, eyes sparkling deviously. (Take note of the word devious, meaning crafty). "Ma!" I say breathlessly. "Lookit what I can do!" I squeeze my eyes shut tight and focus, imagining the pale yellow orb appearing from my horn, glowing softly and warmly... and when I open them, indeed the ball of light hangs. I grin, overjoyed. But I know soon enough it will fade away, unless I tell it where I wish it to go. For right now I have no desire but to be with my family, and I am already with them. I had discovered my strange ability, oh, a few weeks ago? It was one day when I was particularly bored, and so I desperately wanted excitement. Sure enough, it popped out of what seemed nowhere and, curious, I chased it around and found...
Okay, I'll write that bit tomorrow, I promise. I'm awfully tired now [yawning noises in background]- good night!
Love,
Jasiri
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[P] 18th Floor Balcony [Xanthos, Jasiri]
