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05-21-2013, 01:52 AM
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[OOC | Yes, it can remain open. ^^] The orb rests at my feet. It seems to glow faintly, and something of it reminds me of the sea. It glows in pulses, waves of blues of all shades. It is familiar, though I am certain I have never seen such magic before. Of that much I am sure - this orb is undoubtedly magical. It is a calming magic, unlike the fire that burns brightly within me with my appointment to Forger of the Dragon's Throat, though both magics seem to strive for positivity, for creation, for something more than the life I have been given to lead. Both seem to call for self-confidence, for determination, for strength, though I know that each does so in its own way. I wonder if I will be allowed to keep the orb. It is beautiful, and I am sure that it would be a wondrous thing to bottle up and wear on a chain around my neck. Of course, to do that, I would need a bottle, and that I do not have. Gazing into the gentle, rocking depths of the orb, I remember the day that I brought Skysong to the beach of the Throat. It is not the most beautiful of beaches, perhaps, but it is ours, and it is safe. She enjoyed herself thoroughly, though I had been a bit lacking in terms of attention. I had watched her cavort about with Sabel while I demanded more of Note. I didn't even know what I wanted, really, but I wanted more - oh, there's that word again. How often it seems to come up in life. More, more, more, all the time, we are never satisfied to simply have what we have. No. We always want more. Not that it did me any good. Where is Note now, I wonder? And so I face parenthood alone. It is hard enough with one child; I refuse to consider the possibility of a second. If I had borne both twins successfully, would Note have stayed? Would I have allowed my walls to fall, allowed Gaucho to take my breath away so suddenly? And if I am to birth another child - will it be healthy? Is it my fault that Diniel died? A shudder runs through me, a broken, white, winged mare, a loving but nonetheless horrible parent. Even with Skysong I have been absent more often than not, leaving her with Rowan most of the time. When I am there, I feel that young Skysong tests her boundaries far more than I would like. The reproachful gaze when I deny her freedom hurts me, but I cannot bear to let her wander out into the cold, hard world. I cannot bear to see her hurt. A loud noise emerges from the orb, bouncing off the walls around me, again drawing my attention to their beauty. It rings on and on, and I fear that perhaps I have managed to disturb the peace of the sleeping magic. A small part of me bids me to hasten from the crystalline caverns, but I cannot move from my place by the orb. My eyes have again been drawn to it, held by it, and I know that I could not lift a hoof even if I wanted to. Whatever magic has lain dormant here has been woken, and I am under its spell until it releases me. I am not afraid. |
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"Talk talk talk." |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
