A flaming trail of pumpkin and carmine streaks the sky as Fina rushes to my father’s side. She is delighted to see him; I know this, even if she tries to act aloof. The phoenix is a bird of fire, the symbol for passion, determination, and fight. It is in her nature to love so fiercely, but also to be too proud to show it often. I love her dearly. She is, to me, multiple things; sister, mother, protector, friend, and partner. I have spoken of this to Hototo, and know in my heart that he understands. After all, he feels the same way about Bear, does he not? Though, it is hard for me to call him Eytan, when Hototo’s example is the one I always follow. Aside from my father of course. I watch as Fina goes soaring down, perching upon my father’s back, sharing his gaze. I smile, for I understand the closeness they are experiencing. As if knowing whom I speak of, Ilaria clutches my ivory portioned mane and gives a soft sound that is lost in my landing, and it’s a loving push-pull of emotion tugging between us through our bond. I feel her all the same, a constant loving presence in my mind that cannot and will not be ignored. We are like two enclosed dandelion seeds, dancing and swirling where the wind may take us, forever united, and yet gifted from the same flower. Every day I thank my Lord that he gave her to me, that she is with me every sunrise and sunset. Seeing the love and concern in Midas’ turned brow I know he feels the same.

They share a kiss, muzzle to beak, and though he speaks I cannot discern what he says. Even so I feel as if his loving timbre is within my mind, for I know it so well. Words he has never spoken can take on his voice inside my thoughts, a closeness gained only from being so close for seasons upon seasons. I am growing older now, I know it. Not only within my mind, but without. My body is no longer accepting that I wish to stay small, cuddled against my father’s side, forever. My legs seem to grow- imagine this- impossibly longer. Had they not been like the legs of a heron before?! I am sprouting upwards past my father, and it brings a strange sense of melancholy to me whenever I notice it. Hototo and I seem to be engaged in a race to see who can reach the sky the fastest, but where he is gaining mass I am not. I have long stopped being jealous of my handsome brother, and now I understand that where he is powerful, I am fast and nimble. The skies tug my body around and around in the grasp of the wind, a delightful playtoy I love to become. I am born of cirrus clouds and hurricane winds, and Hototo is born of tree roots and boulders. In the future I would become aware of just how accurate this comparison is, but for now I only see us as the perfect mix of earth and heaven.

Two pairs of eyes turn to me and suddenly I am shy, outgoing demeanor shifting with boyish quality into a sheepish smile. Two of the most important people in my lives gazing at me, and suddenly I am overwhelmed. The bitter thought that it may be because I rarely see Midas is fiercely stomped upon, merely glad to be with him this afternoon. For whatever reason, as I have yet to be answered. Even in my excited dancing, hoping for something that may not come, I feel sad. The only company I have comes from Hototo and Ranjiri, and I see them so rarely it hurts. Together, father and I share breaths. It is enough, for now, to wash away the ache that always starts up when I have been away far too long from my heartsiblings. He smells of pine and smoke, perhaps from Fina, with a hint of dust and desert flowers. Sweat is bypassed by the both of us, for we labor beneath the sun every day, and are no longer sensitive to such a scent. How can we when it lingers upon our coats no matter how many times we bathe? It is just as part of the Throat as the crimson sands are- something that unites us all.

It is so natural to say ‘us’ when I inquire if he can give his time. How are we not, after all? I, Fina, and Ilaria create a team, and without Fina I feel as if I am without an important limb, phantom pains and old habits surfacing in her absence. There may be no godly bond to connect us, but we understand each other in the same manner as Ilaria and I. But my thoughts can’t linger on how strange it is for my avian firesister not to perch upon my skin, for my father’s wings are stretching and elongating, and an answer lingers- I just know it- upon his dark lips. Sure enough he is gazing down upon me, and I am saddened to see the angle is decreasing seemingly with every dawn. I do not want to embrace adolescence or adulthood. I want to stay pressed against my father’s side, listening to his heartbeat and hiding behind him whenever I’m unsure or frightened. Now, there is no way I can cower behind him when soon I will tower above him. It only reminds me that I’m not his blood child, a thought that stabs my heart every time it flickers insidiously through my sanctified haven of musings. Loving nickname shatters this pain, and not only am I informed my dad can spend a few hours at my side, but that we have two days all to ourselves.

Anticipatory dancing is nothing compared to my reaction when blessed with this amazing news. Ilaria and I create quite a racket, trumpeting and whinnying, growling and yipping while I jump and dance in sharp, dizzying circles around my father’s form. I don’t know if any real words fall from my tongue, but I couldn’t care if I was ordered to. Almost deliriously, I’m happy. My sharp emeralds are surely as bright as the sun overhead by now when I finally pause to listen to the rest of what he has to say, Fina chirruping sweetly as the perfect end to his promise. Ilaria is upon my forehead by now, fluffy tail flickering at speeds rarely achieved in her enthusiasm. It knocks against each of my ears, throwing my mane into static and disrupting the locks, but we are both too excited to notice or care. Suddenly I’m at a loss of where to go, blown away simply by the ability to spend time with my father, just he and I. Lately when we do come together; it’s with Ranjiri, Hototo, and Ktulu, or a mix of the three. Being unable to talk with him, tell him my thoughts and feelings, only made being around him during those visits worse. A love that is so close, but cannot be touched. I would see him there, smiling and familiar, and be unable to approach him in the manner I wanted to. Again my face falls, I can feel it, and I force myself to brighten once more. It is such a wonderful opportunity! Why should I fill it with sadness and bitter quips?

But again, where to go? My own wings are lifted high, extended in their massive span, ready to sweep down in a moment’s notice. "I don’t care! The ocean? The meadows? The heart?" I’m dancing away, swaying over the sand like a wind-tousled reed. I giggle softly as I imagine the thin, tall groups I’d seen around the oasis. Maybe I really was. "I don’t care, let’s just go!" And that is my own personal, self-stated start signal. With less than three strides I am shoving my wings towards the earth, and the lack of speed isn’t helpful, but I have seen Midas rise without a step from the ground, and I know I can something similar. Sure enough, though my wingtips kiss the ground rather heavily in their length, I am free once more. Every time my hooves leave the earth, I feel as if invisible shackles have suddenly burst free of my ankles, thrusting me into an environment where I can be myself and only myself. Here, embraced by gentle breezes and warm currents, I am just…Cera. No other names, responsibilities, or experiences attached. I’m just a body, a name, and a heart that pounds to the time of my wingbeats. Once I am level I turn my head, searching for Midas, wishing to drift close to him in the cradle of the sky so that we may share words over the stroke of our wings and the rush of the wind in our ears. Ilaria has retreated to my shoulders, the speed of the wind from my forehead too much for her, but I know the earthling has slowly grown just as fond of flying as I am.

There is nothing that can taint my joy in this moment.

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WC: 1,550
Note: So sorry for the delay ;~; also, slowly moving my Cera posts into First Person. What do you think?? I love both so gimme your opinion~
Inspiration: Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain" and Marina and the Diamonds' "Teen Idle"