------" Tares "------

Exhaustion wraps itself around me like a warm and heavy blanket, leaving me at rest as I hide in a rocky crag in the north of the Dragon's Throat on a night lacking stars. I stand only lazily- my tail and one of my forehooves are draped over rocks, and my knees are all partially bent as I decline slowly towards the ground. There is a soft thud and a falling of a pebble into a ravine as my form lands roughly against stone, but I don't feel it as any sort of pain. The night is humid, and the breezes, which are few and far between, bring only slight relief from the heat. It is the shadow that offers me the most comfort- the shadow that hides me from the pale moonlight.

A leg that has strayed from the line of darkness catches the moon's gleam, and the scars that line it seem to glow in comparison to the night's depth of black. I pull it back and rest my head against it- I long for the company of at the very least Arbutus. I know now that I need company more than the steady burble of the river below and the uneven sounds of the night. But it is worse to know what you have lived without- I wish I had never learned.

My thin black mane falls across my vision in sheets, and so it is my ears that pick up on Arbutus' approach. Flaming, he flies up from the ravine, with the pebble I had nudged grasped firmly in his claws. I snort in acknowledgement and clear away some of the hair that obstructs my view so that I can watch his antics. As forlorn as I am, he never ceases to make me smile.

I forget the troubles of the world and my life as he scratches and bites at the pebble, trying to break it open and find a prize. It slips away and lands at my hoof, but when I nudge it towards him he returns it within seconds. The glow of his fiery form reflects off of my features and brings a pale light to rest between us. At night and in the sky he is my guide, with shining black eyes that reflect his own flames an enthusiasm. I kick the pebble again and it is once more returned.

As amusing as the game is, I can't help but think of my encounter with Aure several days prior. She was so unexpectedly wise, especially for one who had forgotten all that she had ever learned. I wonder if that sort of kindness is inherent and cannot be lost even with one's memory. I long for something as concrete as that- a rock in my life, someone or thing to lean on.

But if Aure could have been that, I flew away from her and left her behind. I doubt I've begun a strong foundation there. Arbutus, still fascinated by the pebble, tosses it up with his beak and catches it. His lights dance across the stone walls and of the ravine, and I view his childlike innocence with envy. Why had I never reclaimed that joy? What had ever stopped me but myself?

------" Tares "------

I first sense a change in the scene when Arbutus drops the pebble and fails to retrieve it. He cranes a long neck and lifts a crested head as if searching for something, and then in a flash he is gone, flying high above me and leaving me alone in the dark once more. I sigh, accepting my loneliness only because I know it is self inflicted. I still regret leaving Aure the way I had; it was rude to begin with, and if I was to change at all, to accept my life for what it was and then go on to improve it, I wasn't going to do it alone. I need help, and it could have been her.

The soft sound of hoofbeats catches my attention, and, with Arbutus in tow, chirping gleefully as if he has brought me a prize, I see Aure's dark silhouette in the entrance to the cave that I have chosen to rest my head. I find myself longing to see her face and the features etched within it, so without hesitation the feather in my mane sparks to life and the cave is lit by the light of my wings.

I had recognized her by her faintly lit appearance before, but now I take it in and feel a sort of comfort that accompanies it. She speaks and her voice is inexplicably soothing despite the melancholy tone she carries with it. Her words at first simply fade into the night; it takes me several moments to fully understand their meaning.

And I realize then how selfish I have been, and I despise myself for it. Iris was selfish- she brought me into this world for her own personal gain. And now I am treating Aure as if she is simply someone who can help me- I've failed to consider the possibility that each time she speaks of someone to help her find her memories, she may have been talking about me.

"You're right, I've been awful to you," I admit with exhaustion and a beckoning pull of my head back from her to the ground beside me. My wing extends upwards and forms a covering for her to rest beneath, should she wish. "Whatever you need, Aure, just ask. I won't leave you again like that, it was selfish." My voice is lowered to a soft whisper in the quiet of the night, and I lift my gaze to meet hers and take in her striking face all at once. Arbutus flits over to me and takes his place beneath my other wing to fall asleep, settling in comfortably with his pebble grasped firmly in his talons.

------" Tares "------

She's endearing, really. It's taken me some time to figure out just why I find her kindness so comforting, but now that I have the tension in the air seems to simmer away. She offers to me the same that I extended to her, and I realize that I was foolish to not consider the option earlier. Selflessness... that is the true mark of goodness. "Thank you Aure," I answer in a whisper, doing my best to keep the volume level subdued in the cavern. I spread my fiery flight feathers out in a fan across her back when she lays down beside me with drooping eyes, and I can't help but let pleasure splash across my features. It is a good feeling to guard over others while they sleep. To be a mother, and a true mother, not one like my own, must be a blessing.

Beneath my other wing, Arbutus' flames extinguish and he curls up into a compact round lump with feathers fluffed up and eyes shut tight. In the dark night sleep rushes over all, but I feel strangely awake. There is a sensation relative to the forms beneath my wings that keeps my up, maintains my gaze out into the open sky, which flashes brightly with strokes of heat lightning. For Arbutus, I know what I feel is love. He rests beneath me and I understand the bond we have and its unshakeable strength.

But what about Aure? She rests beneath my other wing, which I have, in a moment of confidence, extended out to her. What do I feel for the gentle mare beside me? For some reason I hesitate to name it. I recall her words with a sort of bemused fondness- her tendency to ramble stirs affection within me. "No it's fine, Aure," I reply, nudging the side of her neck and taking in the pale scent of her mane gently. Despite the fact that I am the only one who she has interacted with for quite some time, I still find it strange that she smells like me- perhaps simply because I've never encountered the situation before.

------" Tares "------

She is not asleep for long, and at around the same time I feel discomfort boiling within my gut and the urge to change my position, her eyes open. Night persists and falls in heavy sheets of darkness outside the entrance to the cave, at last unbroken. The heavy night storm has ceased, as has the tempest locked within my breast. I've taken time to think, and decided that whatever I feel, I've no need to examine it. I simply must keep my thoughts positive.

Aure thanks me for staying as I have, but with a shy whinny and an averted glance, I reply that "It was nothing." Not wishing to leave her side, but knowing that not standing up could be fatal, I force myself to my hooves and shake out my form. My tail flies behind and cracks softly like a whip, while my beard and mane fall in various directions and twist around my horn. On the floor Arbutus remains sleeping, warming himself now with his own flames as he senses mine leave his side. My own wings stretch and fold along my sides, and I realize that as I have stood, Aure has attempted to reach me. Her nuzzle hits my perpetually aching hock and touches the scars along my legs; her wing tickles my knee.

Gently I turn back to look at her with bright yellow eyes, and at the mention of them, I ruffle my wings lightly. "They were given to me by my father; he received it as a prize for defeating an ancient phoenix many years ago," I comment, my eyes sparkling sort of sadly at the thought of Voltaic. Surely, though, he has left this world a better place. I know I am not the only one he touched- both Onni and Cassiopeia seem to have known him at the very least.

------" Tares "------

Once more she offers me compliments, but this time they seem deeper. Not necessarily more or less sincere, but stronger somehow; fueled by a greater emotion. I can't help but meet her gaze and keep our look steady. Her eyes... they're captivating. The touch of her wing across my back, while it sends initial shivers of reflexive fear across my hide, seems almost thrilling. I open my mouth as if to speak, but know not what to say; Arbutus aves the moment, and all attention is turned away from me. Her shock comes as no surprise, and I note it with a gentle and easy nudge to her withers. "It's quite alright, I am as well. If it weren't for our bond, half of the things Arbutus does would have scared me to death already," I assure her kindly, letting my gaze flit away quickly from her eyes and focus instead on the comforting gesture of her wing across my back. What an intricate wing- black, and built like a hawk's. How I'd always longed for such wings of my own as a child... how I'd been lucky enough to have a father as kind as Voltaic.

For as long as he cared about me enough to stick around, anyway, comes the bitter thought. I do not resent my father, I simply wish I had known him better. Wish that he had rescued me from my mother's shadow and the gleaming, judgmental eyes of the sect. The predetermined path of misery and woe impressed upon me as just a filly. Yes, I would have appreciated that.

And, as if reading my mind, Aure then changes the subject to that of my father. I'm disinclined to speak upon it, but I've a soul, and her eyes are too.. too... I can't place it, damnit, but they're too something for me to refuse her. I note the end of her statement, and with a cocked head wonder what caused her to remember the tidbit. However it came about, I feel slightly reassured that we might understand each other's situations somewhat. "I never really knew him. I was raised by my mother, amidst a unicorn group called the Sect, whilst she spied for them in a local herdland. I've heard, however, that he was noble. He was a leader and a warrior, I know that. And..." My voice trails off as the sadness fills me and the emotion becomes a struggle to contain. "...he was always kind to me. Not like my mother," I conclude with a note of finality that suggests I've spoken far more than before and that I shan't go on. Instinctively my tail wraps itself around my thigh and around my abdomen to hide the scars she left me with; the indelible marks of my haunted childhood.

------" Tares "------

The God of the Sun... she wants to know about him now? I had spoken of him earlier and recieved no response, I had assumed the subject was of no interest to her. And to simply change the subject like that- so abruptly... it is clear that she knows more than I want her to. I see her eyes fall to my scars and feel the circling of her wing across my back, the soft and warm touch of her nose to my cheek. As comforting as it is, do I really want this? The strange feeling of dependency upon another and their dependency on me, which is prevalent in the way she speaks of a friend to help her with her memories, feels odd.. This certainly isn't anything I've ever before considered; is it something I even desire?

The question remains unanswered and hanging, and I long to be alone once more but know better than to ask that of her. She's already been abandoned by her past, and I have promised her that I shan't leave her side again. A foolish promise to make, one made in a moment of guilty weakness, but one that I must keep. I long to sit in silence and ruminate the issue as it stands, but her question remains, and I'd be impolite to leave it unanswered. "There are three patron gods of Helovia that can be encountered at the Veins of the Gods; the Gods of the Earth and Sun, and the Goddess of the Moon. They each control separate elements, and as of late, the God of the Sun has been abusing his control more than usual," I reply bitterly, feeling my hatred for the arrogant Sun God seep out of my pores. Not anything like the Gods of Light or Sun from my homeland; not humble or caring. No, for him a meeting with a mortal is considered a deigning- an inconvenience that is undeserved.

A silence settles and my tail falls, brushing across Arbutus and waking him gently. The pebble he admires so much falls from his talons as he stretches, the clatter of it startling me and causing me to jerk my head back suddenly. The closed off cave in the dark of the night is doing nothing for my nerves, and the close quarters makes me feel stifled, when before it was a comfort. I recall Aure's fondness for flights, and with the lightning gone and Arbutus' light to guide us, I see no reason to stay cooped up.

Slowly I take steps on cleft hooves towards the entrance of the cave, letting her wing fall slowly off of my back, the question as to whether or not our relationship is deserved, desired, or even categorized, still nagging me. "Care to fly?" I ask cooly, pushing the thought aside for yet another moment. Perhaps, surrounded by dark clouds lit by the moon, I will find the answer.

------" Tares "------

The ultimatum is given and the message is understood. I am to devote myself to her now, follow up on and fulfill my promise, or we are to part ways. Her confidence is sudden and overwhelming- her determination to make the relationship productive or not one at all both intimidating and threatening. I've never liked being ordered around; it brings back painful memories, thoughts of my mother's screamed whinny's and tortured neighs as she cursed my very existence. But this is a different sort of scolding, a putting me in my place and reminding me that I am a part of this world sort of lesson.

For as much as I try to deny and avoid it, I am as much a part of this land as any other. My responsibilities cannot be shirked, my relationships not always shied away from. A certain level of commitment is required of me, but I've been failing miserably, and It apparently hasn't gone without notice. She leaves my side and trots to the cave entrance, seemingly in a hurry to leave, with her last words haunting the cave I am left suddenly cold and alone in. I longed for solitude before, and now I regret the desire.

"Wait!" comes my call, almost instant, as I set off at a gallop towards the edge of the cliff outside the cave and take off with a swift rear at its edge, the snapping of my wings a clear sound even among the clatter of my hoofbeats. Arbutus swoops behind me, swiftly leading me onwards and towards Aure with his bright flame. I see her dark form as it blends into the night and follow it in earnest, beating with fiery wings only just set alight. My wings force themselves down through dry and thin air, my neck stretches forward to reach her, as if that will help me get to her more quickly. "Aure, I'm sorry! You're right, I won't leave you!" I call out into the darkness, beating faster and harder, causing my flank to twitch with the sudden increase in effort. Arbutus flies between the pair of us, showing me the way to her side and calling out his beautiful cry of mixed birdsong.

------" Tares "------

Her words of comfort and dedication are assuring, and I find myself relaxing to a certain point. Still, I remain vigilant and focused on the flight, for, unlike Arbutus, I'm not built to grace the skies. It is strange how passionate she suddenly seems, as if she's at a turning point. Perhaps we both our- our relationship has just strengthened tenfold with an extension of trust and a display of loyalty. I hadn't lied before- I truly won't leave her again. And I believe her when she says the same. It is a pleasure to know that someone will be there waiting for me til their wings ache and their heart yearns- not that I long for others to suffer, but that I appreciate the fact that they are willing to on my behalf.

I have never considered myself worth very much, but clearly Aure does. One does not speak of a pebble in the same manner she speaks of me- one does not seek out a wood the way she has come to search for me. It is mildly frightening, her determination to stay by my side, but I am reminded of my father's intentions. He had intended to raise me and stay with me, and had it not been for Iris' trickery and the Sundering that separated us, perhaps he could have. It warms my chilled heart to see another strive so much for my attention and protection; and for some reason, perhaps it is for all she has said and done this night, I believe her. Maybe it's stupid, or maybe I've been stupid up until now, but I trust her completely.

I wonder what the word is for that.
I wonder if it's love.

We start to fly low near the oasis, and in the dark two sparrows dance by us, their path entwined even as they land upon the edge of their nest. I turn to Aure in the dark, her face lit a bright yellow by my wings, and forget about the surroundings. Arbutus flies behind but I take no notice; I seek only the expression within her deep, emerald eyes. I match it in silence, with a little less clarity and understanding than she, and then turn away. "Shall we?" I ask with a dip of my wing to bank lower, hoping she'll understand the suggestion that we land. It seems, though, that we understand each other perfectly.

------" Tares "------

In silence I descend, following the path Aure has laid for me by flying ahead. The dark of the oasis doesn't scare me for some reason, and I understand with some strange yet firm certainty that it is because of Aure's presence beside me. For now I have landed with ease, finding a gap in the canopy and letting my wings dwindle to a dying fire. My cleft hooves dig into the surprisingly soft ground slowly, and I feel the pain in my hocks less than usual. Perhaps it is the joy of flying that has brought me this release, or perhaps it is merely the distraction that stands before me.

Her mane, golden, glistens in the moonlight, and I realize I've been foolish to ever leave her. To deny whatever it is between us would be foolish. As skilled as I am with denial, now's no time for it. Arbutus has landed behind us on a tree with extinguished flames, and, exhausted from the journey, tucks his head beneath his wings. We are left in the near dark, the embers flickering upon my shoulders the only thing keeping us within sight of each other. The reflections of my fire play across Aure's face and highlight the white vine across her nose- I find myself drawn closer to her features, and unwittingly, I take a step closer.

"Aure..." I say in a sort of daze, unsure as to how I plan to follow up after addressing her so directly. I take another step closer, placing my muzzle only a feather's length apart from hers at the side. "What do you... call us?" I ask foggily, confusion clouding my thoughts and beauty filling my vision. "Are we really friends?" I continue, taking a step further, no longer feeling in control of my actions. My leonine tail twists and turns around itself and I recognize the nervous tic from my foalhood that I've not displayed in years. Something is different- not the air, not the shadows, but something about us.

------" Tares "------

I regret the words as soon as she gives her first response. Either she is being dishonest with me or that is truly how she feels, and for some reason she doesn't strike me as the type to lie. Maybe it's because for the first time in years I have placed my trust in someone. Perhaps it is because after so long waiting, I have found someone I can be honest and true with. In the mess of my own emotions, I fail to recognize that sheer nerves could cause her to say something safer than the truth. My mind is blank with a sudden force of sorrow and I forget about the shades of gray that land between all or nothing.

I am about to reply, but not leave, for I had promised I would not, when she goes on. She no longer faces me, for she had turned away as soon as I had asked her the question and taken some paces to widen the gap between out forms in the darkness. The gap that I had risked all to close. I don't want to leave her, but to stay causes too much pain.

And then words flow from her lips like a river; quick and ceaseless, seeming to roll naturally off of her tongue. "Aure..." I can say no more. I am not sure if the word she gives is truly what I feel, I hesitate to define it myself. Hypocritical, maybe, but certainly safe. I walk closer to her and my wings widen their flame to encompass her form and envelop her in the warm comfort of the phoenix that I know she loves so much.

There is slight hesitation as I bridge the gap completely, and nudge the base of her neck with slight affection. I long for her to look back at me and show me her eyes- two sparkling emeralds adorning beauty itself. There is a silence as my tail twitches and twists before I speak with a solemnity and a melancholy I've displayed so openly and clearly on only slight occasions. "I... I've never felt love before." My gaze burns into the back of her skull as I will her to turn around, to say anything. "Will you show me what it is?"