The storyteller had awoken with tears flowing out of her golden orbs, face damp and mind groggy with nightmares of her mother and past life. Emotions ran high on Irrydae stood up shakily, taking deep breaths as she stood at her pool. As the memories flashed through her mind, she flinched. Today, she needed to be alone. She did not want to patrol the boarders or make her rounds in the Threshold. Today she would make her way to a secluded spot where she could be alone.

Irrydae is still shaking violently when she appears at the mouth of the cave, and she closes her eyes, eyes tingling as she tries to fight the emotions. 'My star flower. My baby. I have never told you, but- I love you.' Irrydae remembers her mothers death as clear as day. Her brown pelt was red, soaked with her mothers blood while the murderer is stirring back into consciousness. She knows she must run, run as fast as she can and never look back. As her golden eyes took in her mothers near dead figure, she turned. And she ran. And she ran. And she ran. And she never looked back. The memories, her voice, what she looked like. It was all disappearing now. But sometimes, the memories would plague Irrydae like this.

Golden orbs open again, as the corners of her mouth turns down, the normal sparkle in her eyes nonexistent, head and wings drooping. She steps onto the grass, the breeze pulling trendils of her hair with it. She does not trust herself to fly, so she remains on the ground as her body grows numb. Her mind can not focus on one thing as her body hikes up the trail to the Heavenly Fields. She is happy when the fog surrounds her, the temperature dropping slightly and helping to clear her mind, though it wasn't enough to make her turn around and return to her daily tasks.

She emerges, blinking in the sudden light and flinching. A happy yip makes her head snap around, and she sees the grey pelt of a greyhound. Evers. Her stomach jumps as her eyes greedily search for his blue figure. She thought she did not want to see anyone today. And she didn't. But she wanted to see Evers now. She has to stop herself from breaking out into a run when she spots him near a creak. Her head picks up and her eyes dance, wings folding neatly at her sides. She picks up her legs, not as graceful as usual as she still shakes slightly, stomach still sick and she almost turns around. But she doesn't.

Irrydae finds herself at Evers side. No words come from her mouth. She knew if she tried she would bust into tears. Her emotions on high, she reaches her muzzle out for his, craving his touch. And she is confused. Why was this? What was this feeling? He probably didn't want her here. He probably didn't want her reaching out to him. But she shot for it anyways. Her heart ached as she listened to it's loud thrumming in her ears. Everything told her to flee. But she stayed.


[ ooc ; sad irry post because paddeh is is really sad right now and wants to cry herself. so yeah. this is probably a really crappy post. ]

That smile on his face. So happy. Why was he so happy to see her? Why was she so happy to see him? She inhaled his scent, and when he reached out to her she leaned into him, molten gold eyes hiding behind deep purple lids. They open as she pulls back, afraid she is lingering too long, and she can see his face turn into a mask of worry. 'Irrydae. Are you... Okay?' She wants to speak, but is afraid of the tears that threaten.

Irrydae pulls in her wings, eyes cast away, embarrassed as the puppy runs over. Her heart melts as the eyes turn sorrowful in the pup and she nudges it with her muzzle gently before it bats at her, offering a smile. A natural smile, though small, fills her face as she blinks trying to keep the tears at bay. Butterflies form out of Norther Lights, appearing from her wings. Though these ones don't burn, they are for show. There are many that flap their silent wings, circling the three of them. One lands on the puppy's nose before taking flight again. Irry wants to tell Evers everything, but also doesn't at the same time. This was her, what, third encounter with him?

Gold wavering eyes search for his that are almost the same color, and she wants to reach out to him again, to just lean against him and cry all night. But she wants to be strong, she needs to be strong. For the stallion who she somehow trusted so well, better then anyone she had ever met. For the stallion next to her, who she has only talked to two times. His voice is shy, quiet, but so marvelous. Her jaw shakes slightly as she opens her mouth. "I- it's." It's stupid. Memories. The star mare had thought she had moved on from this, moved on from her past and her mother and all the haunting flashbacks.

She can't stop them now. "I'm sorry." she chokes out as tears slide down her face, throat constricting as she turns away, trying to hide them. Irry doesn't want him to see. It is stupid. She is surprised that he was so open to her greeting, that he didn't pull away. But he surely didn't care about her damn memories. It was stupid. Stupid that something like this could affect her so greatly! The mare must seem so weak. So vulnerable.

"I'm sorry." Irrydae repeats, voice thick as she moves away from the blue stud, the sunset casting great hues of yellow and red to blaze against the chocolate on her pelt, changing her hair and stars to change color in the falling sun. Maybe I'm not as strong as I think. She should have never approached him in the first place.


[ ooc ; i'm feeling better now, thank you <333. and i definitely will skype you if i ever want to vent again ]

'Amazing! I've never seen anything like that before.' He sounded so excited. A shaky smile filters to her lips as she shakes her wings, more colors coming forward to form a adult greyhound in front of Rita, chasing more butterflies after her.

Pain filled his face as it did to hers. She shrunk back, not wanting him to care as much as he did. She didn't want him hurt. 'Irrydae?! Do not apologize, what is the matter? Are you hurt? Is something bothering you? Have I said something?' Irrydae wants to shake her head and tell him no, he is not the problem. She takes slow breaths, closing her eyes as she tucks her head into her chest. 'I- You don't have to answer if you'd rather not tell me ... I'm sorry' Golden eyes peer at the stallion. He is so caring, why is he the one to apologize?

"Oh Evers." She chokes out, mouth turning down slightly. "It's so stupid." Irry mumbles. The star mare wants to tell him, but it's so embarrassing. She takes a shaky breath before raising her head. "I- It's just memories. Of my past, of my mother. Nightmares. I used to get them all the time when I first came here, but they have seemed to disappear. It just wrecked me to have one out of the blue." She tells him, and she finds herself rushing towards him, bicolored hide meeting his own blue one as she pressed her face into his mane, resting against his sturdy figure. He is so strong. Why is he still here? Why does he care about me? Irrydae just hopes he won't pull away, as her mother always would have. Her mother had never shown any emotion towards her, it was a foreign thing for someone to even slightly care for the Storyteller.

Irrydae did not want to pull away from Evers, nares taking in his scent as she tried to steady her breathing. "I've never told anyone about my mother, or about my past really." Comes her muffled voice, forcing herself to pull her head away and step back, wishing she didn't have to. "If you are willing to listen, I would like to tell you." Comes her natural, calm voice, a smile filling her face as her eyes graze his.


[ ooc ; gah short post D: ]

It was stupid. So stupid. He must want to laugh and say 'Nightmares? Memories? Really?' Irrydae braced herself for the lash of words that would spew from his blue lips. But they didn't. There were no words. She looked at him in shock, eyes sparking as his face became one of comfort. A smile from him caused her heart to jump slightly and a laugh escaped her. "I should have listened to you in The Threshold. I should have come home with you." Her voice is soft as she takes a deep breath, slowly willing herself to come back to how she naturally is.

'You are far from stupid Irrydae. A wise horse never forgets her past, no matter how much it hurts. A brave horse carries on regardless. You are the bravest and wisest mare I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.' That was it. She wanted to laugh and say how he must be kidding. She would have, if it was any normal day. But it was not any normal day. Today she was having a conversation with Evers the Able, one that was finally private, where she could say whatever or toss aside the calm, collected demeanor that she wore every day. It might be okay to show someone her cracks, and maybe that person might help her fill those cracks. A small smile spread across her lips, and she turned her eyes away slightly. She would be blushing if it could show.

'Of course I will listen.' Irrydae watched as Rita came over to sit at Evers hooves, eyes bright and ears open. A shaky breath left the mare, wondering where to start. "I've never had a father, my mother was my support system. I never had a heard- we were always on the move. To or from what, I have no idea. My mother- she always wanted me to be like her. She taught me to be an outcast, an underling, simmering thing. I worked for her gain. I couldn't leave though, mom was my whole life. She taught me to fight, to be manipulative, to pretend to be someone I wasn't. I was meant to trick people for the gain of myself or my mother. She wanted information, and power. If I didn't do something she wanted me to, she would m-." Irrydae bites her lip, closing her eyes for a few seconds before starting again. "She would mentally abuse me. And still, I couldn't make myself leave. I was my mother's experiment to try to shape me into a power-hungry, malevolent creature to spit out children that she could continue to shape like me, and all she ever did for me was abuse me emotionally. I was so attached though, she was my support system. When I was only two, it's the typical thing, she grew horribly ill. Moving around did nothing but make it worse, and she died. I guess it can be seen as a blessing, finally getting way from the abuse and manipulation."

She felt as if made of air. No heavy weight upon frail shoulders, anymore. The first time she has ever told anyone of her past, of who she used to be. She was not some happy foal chasing butterflies. If her mother had not died what would she be now? Would she have turned out as her mother had wanted her? Irrydae's brow scrunches together, wondering what the stag will say about her past. It wasn't very long, she could have included details and examples, but she saw no need for that.

"I did not have a fairytale childhood, and I doubt I'll have a fairytale ending, a happy ever after, either." Words that could be taken as bitter, sad, a complaint, whatever. The words had left her before they had entered her mind. Irrydae watched Rita, wondering if she'll even ever get a companion. The star spangled mare had no friends besides Evers- if she could consider him a friend! Though, she must if she trusted him with information of her childhood. It was pretty bold of her to tell him, and still she regretted it, she had vowed to never speak of it. No friends. No family. But Evers. Her Evers? Was it even like that or was it another twist of her imagination. This all seemed to good for Irrydae, and she almost expected to wake up and realize it was all just a dream. But she was awake, Evers was standing before her, and she had just told him something she thought she would tell no one. Irrydae considered herself lucky to have a friend like that.

Her heart jumped slightly as her eyes met his this time, and they quickly skirted away. Irrydae never considered having compassion for someone when she was with her mother, so it was a strange thing for her. Irrydae stepped towards him again, maw brushing his ever so slightly, nervous as to what he would do or think. "I'm glad I found you here." Her voice is a whisper, taking the leap of faith as the words leave her mouth. It is so quiet, she is not sure if he will hear it not, she is not sure if it's a good thing if he does hear it.

"I never realized how hard it would be to let go of her, even after everything she did for me. The one and only time I've ever heard the words 'I love you' from someone was before my mother died." Her voice is no longer a whisper, blinking slowly as the sun makes it's descent further and further down under the horizon.


[ ooc ; GUH OMG ;______; andyeahyoucanmakehimhearthatit'suptoyou ]

Her breath catches as she watches him laugh, watching his lithe frame shake lightly and the breathtaking- well, breathtaking to her- smile fills his face. Her eyes crinkle as she she fights a smile at his words. A soft sigh escapes her, mind wandering back to the faint memories of a full year ago. She had been so much different, the mysterious "know-it-all" you could say. Now... well, what was she now? She had an important rank, a wonderful herd and whatever this thing was with Evers. Her heart stutters awkwardly as her mind drifts to that thought. Was it something?

Irrydae had planned to spend her night in the same attitude as she had woken up as- she would have, if she had not found Evers. Now, the nightmare was all but a distant memory in his presence. But now, her sides rise and fall abruptly, heart beating against her ribs and she felt so off guard. Shaky. Awkward. Whatever.

Evers was extremely patient, his gaze growing softer the more her words continued. Irry felt as if she had been knocked off her hooves when the smile dazzles his lips and he steps towards her. Her audits prick forward and she now listens to his wise words. He sounded like such a great figure, so much more wise, as if he was the storyteller or even the Chief again. She stands awestruck at his words, nodding slightly. Indeed, he was her light. '... I will not tell you more, my past is not one to be told aloud and should die with me.' Her stomach drops at that, did he not trust her? Those would have been the words she had told anyone about her past, but, with Evers it was different. She shook it off lightly, understanding why he would think that- she could relate.

'We both seem to be creatures of an abusive history Irrydae, but if anything it has taught me to treasure those I consider close to me. It makes me happy to know you feel you can confide in me ... You are also one I have come to treasure.' His soft eyes were trained on the ground, and Irrydae was in disbelief as she stood stick still, heart sputtering out of control. Golden eyes soften, yet widen in shock and disbelief, knees locking and throat tightening, nearly falling on her face. She inhales roughly, realizing she had not been breathing. Subconsciously, Irrydae stumbles a few steps back, breathing rough and loud. No one had ever had feelings for her- and she had never had feelings for someone. The memory of her mother's last words flashes through her eyes. My orbs flit to my mother, to the pool of blood she lays in. There is wetness dripping down my face as my breathing accelerates. She stares straight at me, her face still a mask of calm. "Irrydae. My star flower, shhh it's okay. Relax. Match your breathing with me." I step forward shakily, focusing all my attention on listening to the soft, even inhale and exhale of my mother. I don't have time to calm myself before we stare into each other eyes, "I love you." The words slip between her maw in a whisper, her chest falling still. I stumble back abruptly, my eyes flooding, vision blurring past the point of any visibility. I barely recognize my body falling to the rough ground, where I lay for days and weep until there is nothing left to weep. Then, I lay there silently, waiting for my own death to come. It doesn't. A dry, silent sob hiccups from my throat, and then my eyes refocus on Evers. He... he treasures me? The words were foreign and awkward in her thoughts. Sadness creases in her eyebrows as she looks at the lithe blue form, heart hammering against her chest. This wasn't right. Emotion. It had been locked away and hidden all her life. "I-" Her voice chokes off, shaking as her sides rise and fall rapidly. Without thinking, Irrydae stumbles a few feet more away, nearly falling to the ground as her pace quickens and wings spread, the wind welcoming her and taking her away from the stallion.

When she is far enough away, the tears come - not silently. Pain and sadness crushes her shoulders as her flight wavers, vision blurring rapidly. What has she done? Her mind flashes to Evers, an image of sadness as he stands there and watches her flee. Irrydae does not notice the scent of the Foothills as she passes the boarder, and her unstable flight causes her to crash into the thick trees. Irry does nothing to move or get up, lying on the ground and letting the pain and grief consume her.