| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.3 hh :: 38 months |
| Alex |
07-25-2012, 10:38 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-26-2012, 10:32 AM by Tares.)
I have not spoken to Aure since my encounter with the Earth God, and I become aware of the fact that my visit was quite... preemptive. Still, to know what I must do for the future is not such a bad thing. And I feel that what we have... no, I don't feel, I know that it is real. There is a certain strength to our love, a sense of elation I feel around her that I've never experienced before. That very same sense is what led me to the Earth God's shrine and brought me to my knees to pray.
But, in hindsight, perhaps I should have waited. Arbutus seems to watch my every move with caution now, remaining awake for longer hours as if to watch me and make sure I don't get into any more 'trouble'. I sense him judging me still for visiting the God without first speaking with my lover, but I feel I know her well enough to know he reaction already. But then again, she has always been a surprising mare- I begin to doubt myself, and a nervous tension builds within my frame that leads my tail to twitch restlessly.
I lay in wait for Aure to appear, knowing that she will find me here, a place of love and peace. Perhaps I shall wait some time, but I know that she will find me. I feel a sense of belonging when I am beside her, and a strange emptiness when I am forced to leave my side. Already the time I must spend in the Foothills alone seems a burden, but I face it with dignity and a steeled determination. All is worth the birth of this child, our child.
The night brings a soothing cold to the grove and I find myself bending down to touch the cool grass to my legs. Arbutus, still disappointed in me, flits about angrily from tree to tree. Perhaps his frustration stems too from the lack of attention he has received in the wake of our declaration of love. "Come, Arbutus," I call out coaxingly, my yellow eyes carrying a sweet expression as I attempt to lure him to my side. Still, he is but a child, and his stubborn tantrum takes more convincing. Wincing at the faint heat, I extend my wings to greet him, and reluctantly he flies down to my side, unable to resist the temptation of my flaming feathers. Between my wings he was saved- the simple touch of them brings a certain sensation of thankfulness into his heart.
Gently I lower my nose to brush his head and exhale. "You know I love you, Ar," I murmur soothingly as I nuzzle his crest. There is a soft coo emitted from the tiny phoenix's frame, and then a satisfied chirp as he settles down beneath my wings. The night seems just a little brighter with out flames combined. And so in silence we wait at the night's dawn, each of us with love in our hearts.
|
I hesitantly entered the Grove, the place where lovers met, hoping I would find my own there. I sighed in relief as I saw the flicker of flames and the form of Tares, who was currently murmuring and nuzzling Arbutus. My chest welled with emotion and the empty place in my heart was filled as I saw my Tares looking amazing as ever. I knew there was nothing in the world I wanted more than to drape my wings around her flaming form and tell her I loved her, but I knew sneaking up from behind would startle her. I softly whinnied, to let her know I had found her, and I trotted around so I could see her beautiful eyes. I sighed as green found yellow and I knew I was home. There was not a doubt in my mind of my love for her, only the slightest bit of fear that I would forget it in one night of sleep. My joy faltered slightly, before I realized that she would explain everything to me when I awoke to an empty mind. Still, I needed to remind her that it could happen anytime.
I gently touched my cheek to hers and say, “It is wonderful to see you again. I have missed you, Tares. But I bring melancholy thoughts with me, as well as the joy of our love. You have promised to love me, and that comes with a burden. My memory is sporadic. There could come one day where I wake up and I do not know who you are. I want you to explain to me how we feel, and it may trigger a memory. It may take time for me to love you as unconditionally as I do now, but if we are meant to be together, I will feel it again. And I know I will. Please do not let this hinder our love, Tares.” Emerald pools of worry stared into her yellow ones. If she says that she simply does not want the trouble of our love, I hoped I slept tonight and woke up tomorrow with no recollection of her. I needed her like I needed air to breathe, as cliché as that sounded.
I suddenly noticed the vial on the chain around her neck, the contents swirling inside prettily. Curiosity overwhelmed my worry as I stared at the new object. “Oooh, Tares, what is that?”
|
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.3 hh :: 38 months |
| Alex |
I rise as my lover enters the clearing, and Arbutus remains at my feet, his gentle flames warming and soothing my cannons. Her green eyes sparkle in the firelight and a smile sweeps its way across my features uncontrollably. "Aure..." I whinny softly, taking a slow step forward to greet her. Her nose brushes my cheek and I snort with pleasure, letting my breath tickle her neck and blow out her mane. She speaks of tragedy yet to come and I shut the idea of it out, instead closing my eyes tightly and leaning in to her neck, letting her locks drape over my horn and my ears relax with contentment. I sigh softly and then relax as a shudder is sent twitching across my coat. All tension leaves me and I relax as I stand beside her. At once, everything seems as it should be.
She speaks still of the day when her memory fails her, and I pull away with courage in my eyes and perked, determined ears. "Whatever will be will be, my dear. You may forget everything, and even this, but know that I will be by your side always, whether you know my name or not." I declare this with the same conviction as I declare our love. My fore hooves shuffle against the soft earth and I take a step back, revealing my necklace and inviting her to come further into the grove.
I am not surprised as her attentions direct to something else entirely- the vial. Her easily distracted personality is endearing, though I am slightly nervous at broaching the subject of the swirling liquid that presents itself across my chest. I instead lay back down, and beckon her to join me with an easy flick of my lion tail and a gentle gaze. Without realizing, my wings unfurl once more and I leave a space for her beside me beneath their comforting warmth. This night is perhaps the coldest in quite some time- it is both a shock and a comfort in the midst of the Sun God's Tallsun.
I hope to pull her beside me, and for a few moments longer I ignore her comment about the vial. I must speak with her first about sensitive matters. Matters of the heart and the mind, of love and a foal. "Aure, darling... I have always wanted to be a mother. After growing up with my own and seeing how awful the world can be, a part of me has wished to bring a child of my own into the world and show it the love I was not given," I begin somewhat hesitantly, avoiding her gaze for a few moments and instead settling on Arbutus as he rests behind me, and doing my best to focus on his warm, comforting energy. "What I'm trying to say, Aure, is... would you do me the honor of allowing me to bear your child?" I ask, relaxed once the question is out and some of the tension released. But still, I feel an ache of worry as I lay in wait for her reply.
|
I felt myself shiver at the way she called me darling, the way it rolled easily off her tongue. And then she talked of a child. My eyes widened, shocked at the way Tares had gone from a timid new friends, to a lover who talked so easily of children. I had not thought about children, or at least from what I recalled of my life. I kept a calm mask on for Tares, as I knew how much this meant to her, but turmoil churned inside me. How was I to raise a child when I could wake up the next morning without knowing its name? “Tares, I am honored that you would consider the option. I do worry about my memory of the child and if it would want a mother who may not remember it day after day. The thought of our child is lovely, maybe the most perfect thing ever thought. I am just…slightly panicked I guess.”
I pawed nervously at the ground, knowing that what I said may hurt Tares, and suddenly I knew I could not do that. If she wanted my child, she would have my child, and we would raise it, encountering every obstacle as it approached. I sighed and smiled warmly at my lover, ready to easy her spirits. “You know what? We can deal with these problems when they happen. It would be the most amazing, wonderful, marvelous thing in the world to have a foal, my Tares. I’m guessing that is why you have a vial around your neck? You must have gone to the gods. Tares, I love you and of course we should have a child.” I nuzzled my mate, thinking I was happier than I had ever been. And even though I had no memory of life before Tares, I knew that this thought was true.
|
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.3 hh :: 38 months |
| Alex |
I await her reply in heavy silence, my eyes not leaving hers for as long as she deliberates. I hear the hesitation in her tone as soon as she speaks her first word, and I prepare for the word I have been dreading. A part of me is surprised it hasn't come sooner- the rejection, that is. I was foolish to think our love was to last. Foolish to go to the Earth God as I had and assure him with absolute certainty that what we had would last forever. I loved her with all of my heart, but I always feared the worst of things. I had trusted in her, and in her love. But now... what positive thing could she possibly say with a tone of voice like that?
She speaks and I listen intently, taking each word as a gentle and easy put down. Reading it all as: I love you, but no. My thoughts are bitter, my heart feels twisted and tight, until I remember with slight sadness that not all is lost.
At least she loves me.
At least someone loves me.
Seeming to understand my distress, Arbutus tugs at my beard and rubs his fiery neck against mine, gazing up at me with sweet, innocent eyes. I do my best to look happy and assured by his actions, but there is still the disappointment weighing heavy upon me. All because of her condition- why can't she see that it does not matter to me, and that it never will? Why can't she understand that I, and our potential child, would help her through those times of emptiness, when all she knows is her own name?
I start to lose hope, and consider tossing the vial off of my neck, when the silence that has sat between us is broken and she answers me once again. This time she seems to understand the strength of our love, speaks of perseverance and then, at last... says those words I want to hear. Instantly I push my head against her neck and butt her affectionately, letting out a soft whinny of relief and joy.
I pull back with pure love in my eyes, and speak softly, with a lip quivering with anticipation. "We must spend two nights in this grove and then I must drink the contents of this vial to conceive," I inform her, taking a deep breath and swallowing my thoughts before continuing. "Afterwards... I must leave the Throat for some time. The Earth God has insisted that I spend each day of my pregnancy living in the Foothills." My gaze saddens slightly and I sense the despair this may cause, but I nudge her gently. "Do not despair, my Aure. I shall love you with each passing moment we spend apart; I will never forget these nights of ours."
|
Guilt flooded through me as the mare’s yellow eyes bitterly clouded over as I first said I was wary about a child. Immediately I knew I must right the wrong, and I saw her eyes burst into yellow flames of life that glowed with her love for me. I pawed the ground happily to see her like this, filled with the same love for me as I her. I knew this was where I belonged, underneath her flaming wings, with Arbutus flitting about us. My withers slumped slightly as she told me she must reside in the Foothills until the birth of our lovely, lovely child. Emotion welled up in my chest and I nearly begged for her not to go. What would I do without my beautiful lover, the only one who knew me and accepted me for everything?
I whinnied softly and sadly, filled with the grief of losing her, even if only temporarily. I needed her fiery wings, sweet yellow eyes, and velvety ears and nose to simply keep me going. I had no one else; I was to be alone until she and our foal could be born. I would not even be there for the birth of our foal, and its first few days. Anger overwhelmed the sadness I felt at losing her, and changed to the frustration of not being with my foal from the moment it was born. The gods had no right to take that from me and make me feel like less of a mother than Tares. “There is no way the gods will let me be with you for the birth in the Foothills? Tares, I cannot let you go through that alone. And to miss the first few precious days with our child…I will miss everything. Everything that is important. Only you and strangers will experience it, not our child’s mother. How could the gods do this…take those precious moments away from me?” I nuzzled my head against her soft neck for comfort as I despaired. I felt that I would not know my own foal when I first met them. I would have to learn everything from Tares, who would always be more connected to them, surely the favorite parent to our child. I snorted angrily at how the gods gave us such a wonderful gift, and yet had to spite me as well.
|
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.3 hh :: 38 months |
| Alex |
The sadness that envelops her in turn sweeps across me in wretched, unstoppable waves. To see her face sorrow- she, my bright and kind lady of the night... it is almost too much for me to face. I dare not curse the God of the Earth, knowing what a power he has on the life of this child, but I instead punish myself mentally for not trying harder to find another option. But is there any other option? And in the end, will it not be worth it? No, we simply have to get through this for our dear child to be.
Comfortingly I nuzzle her, pressing my nose to the vine marking. "It will be hard, but we have to remember that it will be worth it. Knowing why I must be away from you will keep me going," I begin, exhaling lightly, softly, and shifting my wing to keep her beneath its warmth. "You can be with me on the day of the birth- I will send Arbutus to find you; he can stay with you for a time if you would like. Our son and I will be home soon after, and I shall tell him of you every moment, and let him now how lovely his mother really is," I assure her, letting my long tail even curl up to lie across her thigh. Arbutus pipes up at the sound of his name, and upon understanding his duty, straightens up officially and gives Aure a confident look. What a gift this little phoenix has been to me- I shan't ever stop loving him.
I shan't ever stop loving Aure, either. I can see in her eyes a sort of fear about my leaving, as if in my absence our love shall wane or the child won't see her as his true mother. But I know that he will love her- how could he not? She is wonderful, the epitome of beauty and grace, the wonder and light of my life. He will always know her as such, even in the darkest of times that may fall upon his life, as much as I will try to keep them at bay.
I realize as I rest my head across her legs and look upon her sole white hoof that I have let slip our child's gender. Had I not said earlier that we were to have a colt? The God of the Earth had said it would be so, and I had barely noticed then, almost let it slip by me. I've done the same now while I speak to her, I wonder what she will do or say. I hope there is no sadness in her eyes, I hope she heeds my words and feels a certain warmth upon the realization that she will never be truly alone.
|
I could be there when…my son…was born. Son. A boy. I whinnied softly and nuzzled Tares’ ear with affection. We would have a son, a beautiful, wonderful son. Though I was able to see him born, my heart yearned to be there for his first days. They were the most important of all days. I wondered if I could just stay with Tares after he was born, unnoticed to everyone. Besides, I had no other companions besides my sweet Tares; therefore it was unlikely I would be missed. I promised myself I would stay for as long as I could and help my love through this pain that she would be put through. It would be a comfort for me to be there, I knew. I wondered what it would be like to see sweet Tares go through so much pain, and being helpless against it. I shook my head, to clear those awful thoughts from my head. I looked down into my mate’s sparkling yellow eyes. “Still…it will be so long for us to be apart. I…do not know what I will do with myself. I have no others to interact with besides you, my love. It shall seem like such a long time…I know I will miss you greatly. Every second I will think of you.”
I laid my head across hers, relaxing finally in the warmth of her, feeling the safest I had ever felt. I knew that it was never this way with…I gasped. Beauregard. I had a past lover, and I seemed to have remembered his name. My instincts told me he had never loved me the way Tares did. I remembered the flash of a palomino quarter horse hoof rushing viciously towards my face I had had the other day when talking with Midas and Azzuen. I realized the two memories fit together, like missing puzzle pieces of my past. “Tares? I remembered something that I do not think you will like. Beauregard…that was my past lover’s name. He…never respected me. I tried to leave him many times and…well, that was how I learned to defend myself. He was…strong, hard to refuse. I…do not know what else to say.” I hung my head in shame, embarrassed that anyone could ever have put me down like I knew he did. A strange feeling came over me. I had never before felt myself wanting to forget…
|
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.3 hh :: 38 months |
| Alex |
08-01-2012, 01:03 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-01-2012, 02:02 PM by Tares.)
I see the expression of joy flash across my mate's features, and let my body turn so that I roll almost playfully against her. Arbutus whistles in shock and hops up onto my face, blinding me temporarily with his fan of feathers and flurry of claws. Still, even in his state of playful surprise he is careful not to scratch me, and to keep his flames subdued so as not to burn Aure. From his perch above my eyes he leans up and over to tug at Aure's mane, trying to take away the expression of sadness that I've yet to turn and see.
But there it is, clear as the Tallsun summer. Still there is the hesitation of my leaving, and then, something more. She speaks first of the sadness of our parting, and I know not what else to say. I curl my lips around the skin of her forehead, offering her a gentle and comforting kiss, and let my tail curl further across her back. But what else can I say? I feel the same, but I'm doing my best to be the strong one, to be her support.
And then she speaks of a lover from her past. I stiffen at once, listening to her first with a hint of jealousy and then a rising sense of anger as that fades. Had this stallion hurt her? I shift and shake Arbutus off of where he perches, which is now precariously on the side of my face, letting my form settled upright and lying before her, while Arbutus flaps his wings playfully against the soft and peaty soil of the grove, completely and happily ignorant.
"You will never be hurt by him again," I say with a fierce, protective tone in my voice and a look of concern. My tail slides off of her back and whips against he soil, my beard shuffles and hits my hocks as I shake my head in disbelief. Who could have ever hurt her so? My dear, sweet Aure... No, for anyone to hurt her is too painful for me to even fathom. "The pregnancy will not last long, and I will return as soon as I am able. Until then, know that I love you always and do not fear- Arbutus will stay with you and protect you should you need his aid or company," I answer with confidence, my voice firm and my eyes sharp with determination to keep my lover safe.
Seeming to sense some of the seriousness of the situation, Arbutus turns away from his playful antics and hops quickly to my mate, resting his head above hers comfortingly. As I look on, soft silver tears fall from the corners of his eyes and land to rest upon Aure's nose. My lips part in shock and wonder as I recall the legends of the powers of ancient phoenixes. The ability to heal with their tears.... has my Arbutus gained this skill? I watch him curiously as his silver tears swirl across the surface of my lover's beautiful features, leaving faint traces of their path across her black coat and wrapping around the white vine that curls across her nose. Perhaps the tears of my charge can ease her pain. Her scars are not physical, but maybe his efforts will aid her nonetheless.
With emotion welling up inside me, I pull myself closer to the mare and let my head rest beside hers until I too feel the cooling elixir of Arbutus' tears fall upon my face. It is a comfort and a boon, and with each drop I feel our bond as a family strengthen. I feel safe and warm beneath my own wings and beside the body of my lover; I can't imagine ever wanting to be anywhere else, and yet, somehow, the thought of going to the foothills for the pregnancy seems like less of a threat. "Our love is endless," I murmur as I muse to myself, not sure if Aure can actually hear my words, or if when I said them they were even meant to be said.
|
I gasped when Arbutus’ tears swam across my vine marking, strengthening the mark and seeming to make it a slight silver color. I knew that phoenix tears had healing powers, but nothing on me what hurt. I realized that Arbutus was trying to heal my emotional pain…the past pain I had endured from Beauregard, most of which I did not remember. The shame of being weak, of being submissive to him, was still hot on my face, but the little phoenix’s tears were a comfort to my heart. I looked down at my lover’s face, seeing that some of the tears had touched her nose as well. I remembered Tares’ abuse she endured from her own mother. It made me sick, to even think of a mother hurting her own child. I knew we would treat our son like a blessing; he was one, a gift from the gods. I bent my head to Tares and pressed my nose against the tribal marking around her eye. “I love you, Tares. And I love Arbutus. And I love our unborn child with a fierceness I have never felt before. I know we will give him as perfect a life as possible.” I nuzzled Arbutus and nudged him onto Tares as I stood, feeling that uncomfortable burning in my core.
I shook the earth off of my tail and flicked my ears back, feeling more comfortable as I stood. I planned to cherish these last two nights I had with my Tares before she went to the Foothills. I knew they would take care of her there, but I still wished to help my mate through her pregnancy. I was stubbornly rejecting that I needed to accept her absence from me, and that it was worth it to complete this quest for the gift of our son. I still trembled at the thought of a son for Tares and I. I knew neither of us would be the mother that Tares had, and that neither of us would be the love that Beauregard was. I sensed Tares knew this too, knew that our bond of love was stronger than any others in Loorien had ever been.
Our love is endless. She said it hesitantly, and yet I knew it was true. I love is endless. There will never be any to challenge it. Tares proved our love by going to the gods, willing to accept a quest for a child for us, as we could not produce one alone. She could have rejected me because I was a mare and she wanted kids, and I the same. Instead, she found a magical solution to break the physical boundaries of our anatomy, and I loved her even more for that. I looked into her lovely yellow eyes, down to where she laid with Arbutus and said, “Yes, Tares, my darling. Our love is endless.”
|
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 14.3 hh :: 38 months |
| Alex |
08-02-2012, 11:02 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-02-2012, 11:02 AM by Tares.)
Feeling the lull of exhaustion wash over me, I blindly follow Aure as she lifts herself and takes a few paces forward. I exhale with relief as the pain I had barely noticed is relieved and my body decompresses. My tail trails on the earth and my hooves almost drag as I force myself to her side- I had not realized just how tired I was until now. Arbutus flutters up to land on my withers, and I snort at the extra weight of the young phoenix. Still, I can't truly be mad at the sweet little creature. He curls up on my spine, his wings folding and flickering with a newly born flame, and I cannot help but smile as his warmth tickles across my back.
I catch up to my mate and let my nose rest across her withers gently. Each breath I take brushes across her and toys with her mane, while my own hangs in wild waves and strives to touch the ground. I pull my form close to hers until we rest beside each other, touching perfectly, our bodies a mold that fit perfectly. My ears flicker with contentment and my eyes flutter as sleep rushes over me. My wings rest at my sides, brushing the ground and my lady's legs, and I begin to feel my sense of time slip away. Arbutus whistles sweetly upon my back for the last time this day, and I know at once that he has fallen asleep. I nicker softly, letting my lips brush against my mate's back as one last comforting gesture before I fade away.
I think of her words as I fall into sleep and let them bring a soft smile to my face. Yes, Our love is endless she had spoken with confidence. I can think of no other words spoken in the world that could bring me greater happiness.
[[-fin-]]
|
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
