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07-21-2013, 10:44 PM
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She recognizes me as I call her name, and I am pleased by the smile that forms on her maw. I grin in return, relieved, and though she cannot see me I am sure that she will note my reaction. Thus far I have been amazed at what she can "see," and I cannot imagine that this will be any different. She is quite incredible, and I wish I knew more of her history, for I have an almost instinctual feeling and she and I could be quite good friends. If I weren't so completely in awe of her, that is. Her nose bumps my shoulder beneath the wing joint; the appendage is folded out of her way, so it is not difficult for her to do so. I return the gesture, brushing my own maw against the base of her nape, which is as far as I can reach from my current location. "It is," I say in response to her inquiry. Good, so she did know me! "I will probably retain the 'Miss,' if it is not a bother," I add sheepishly. "It is a force of habit, and such things are very difficult to quit, wouldn't you say?" It is half a joke, and though I do not laugh, a soft smile remains on my face. I suppose that if it really bothers her, I will make an effort to stop, but I cannot imagine addressing her in any other way. She is just so... wise, and intimidating, and strong, and everything I want to be in life. What else does one call one's role model other than miss? Furthermore, she knows that I am not particularly happy, though we have known each other only a short time, and I am reminded of my friendship with Rowan, and of my friendship with Phaedra, both of whom read me remarkably well - and that's with sight. Dare I hope that Rasta and I will develop a similar relationship? "I am... worried," I admit, though the word hardly seems to do my thoughts justice. "This wall... it's my responsibility. The God of the Sun gifted me with a wondrous ability to weld metal, but since the endless night came, I can't. It's just... gone. All of my magic, as if it were never there." I frown. "I didn't know how reliant I was on it until it wasn't there. And how am I supposed to contribute to the herd without being able to do this? How am I supposed to protect my family?" I think of Zenobia, my precious daughter. I think of Skysong, the rogue child I have already lost. I think of Diniel, dead before she began to live. I think of Gaucho, though I hardly think I can count him as family - but I see him as such all the same. I should not burden her with my problems, but she has a way of instilling calm and trust in me. I feel as though I have known her for years rather than days, and again I wonder if I might call her a friend as I do the others. Again I wonder if I am not more a nuisance than anything to her. She did not seek me out on purpose; it was I that approached her. She asked if I was alright, but perhaps it was only being polite. What if I merely annoyed her? What if she would rather be elsewhere? The thoughts swirl around my mind, and I wonder when I became so insecure. Surely it was after Note left; surely it was a result of the various rejections I have suffered through in only the past year. Surely I was not always this way - was I? "Talk talk talk." @[Rasta] |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
