Shivering. Confusion. Jumping. Panic. Twitching. None of it was present. Could she even focus? Could she pull apart the images that were crashing into her cranium as if they were bulls in a stampede? Could she dissect the reality from the imaginary? Could she find a way to pull herself back to the broken fragments she had been before her pile of shattered glass had been neatly collected in a ball and then stomped on allowing little shards to start to stab against the edges of the bag and rip it? Could she actually allow her breath to mingle in the air and match the rhythm of the large stag beside her? Breathe in. One. Two. Exhale. Gasp for more air. Three. Four. Five. Push it all out again. Scramble to fill the lungs with oxygen. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. No. Don't cry. Struggle to breath in without the air shuddering. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Breathe out just a little. Thirteen. A little more. Four- a little more - teen. Fifteen. And more. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Stare blankly ahead. Nineteen. Twenty. Beg for the oxygen to fill her lungs. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Realize that she can't see anything more than a muddled image of the world around her. Twenty-three. Exhale. Immediately gasp for more. Twenty-four. Twenty-five. Let the sobs commence. A choking noise. Something that proves her vocal chords still work. Choking. Sobbing. Blubbering. Tears cascading down and fogging all vision as the mists pull tighter around her frame. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. He had done it. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine. The mechanical one. Thirty. Just keep counting. Maybe it'll all just stop...

As she shuffled her frame up against Kaj, burying her weak body against his muscled one, she had shot her head towards the mare cloaked in black with bronze and blood dripping off the horn. The voice was distorted again. It wasn't mechanical. It wasn't harsh. It was almost sweet. It's all a charade! He's playing a game with your mind! She wanted to scream. She wanted to plead. She wanted to understand why he had needed to kill her doll! She wanted to understand why the only one who understood the Pandora's box in her head - the one with a curse much worse than her own - had needed to be the one to go! And he was here. He was in front of them. He was in their herd land. They were not safe. Could they not break that into their skulls?! If she had the guts to smack Kaj on his head she would have done so! She would have screamed in his face that he was making a mistake! She would have called him a traitor for letting such a monster in that acted like a piece of machinery! How could he do this to her?!

And, as if he could tell that Res was getting nervous about the stag being there he spoke. That unfamiliar word, which she so desperately hoped did not mean he was calling her an idiot was used. Telling her it was okay. But it was not okay! Nothing was okay! Couldn't he see that?! Antheia. That is a lie! He is not Antheia. That mechanical one before her with a laugh on his lips was not the 'Antheia that he spoke of. She was okay? All because Kaj was there? He was letting the swamp monster emerge from it's watery grave in order to take her down with Rowan too. Not like she didn't deserve to join her in those murky depths of oblivion - it had been her fault that she hadn't survived long enough. After all, if she had know how to heal then perhaps she would still have had a chance to get to someone who could have actually aided her in healing.

Instinctively, she curled up tighter against him, even tighter than before, as the sobs began to get harsher and harsher. And, wanting to be hidden even more she tugged on his wings. It seemed to take him a second to realize what she was doing before he wrapped his wing safely around her frame in order to place her in a cocoon. The warmth spread through her tired limbs as the caked blood began to itch against her pelt. She needed to get this dried life-substance off of her pelt. She needed to find a way to pretend that this hadn't happened. But that wasn't going to occur with the creature before her only wanting her death.

Then, he was speaking to the mare cloaked in her memories. The sweet voice protruding from the mechanical monster still messing with her cranium and sending her in loops as she fought to decipher reality from memories. Yes she had lost a loved one. But that thing before her only knew that because it had done it to Rowan. It had caused all of this pain. It had opened Pandora's box and gifted the only one who was capable of understanding such a shattered mare as Res the only gift that couldn't be returned - death.

Thirty-one. Thirty-two. Mouth starting to gape open a little. Thirty-three. Thirty-four. Struggle to make any sounds. Thirty-five. Words can't be formed. Thirty-six. Thirty-seven. Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine. Again, the shock has kept her mute. Forty. Forty-one. Forty-two. Hooves. Forty-three. Forty-four. A tiny light hits her eyes. Forty-five. It disappears. Forty-six. Start scratching at the dirt. Forty-seven. Forty-eight. Sketch out the word "Blood." Forty-nine. Fifty. And then "Horn." Fifty-one. Fifty-two. Take in a few shaky breaths. Fifty-three. Fifty-four. Part of a word: "Murd-" Fifty-five. Fifty-six. And the rest of it. "-erer" Fifty-seven. Shake head to get the tears away. Fifty-eight. Fifty nine. Scratching an arrow pointing at the cloaked figure of Antheia as the mechanical creation continues to laugh at Res. Sixty. Nip at Kaj's shoulder. Sixty-one. Sixty-two. Sixty-three. Inhale. Sixty-four. Sixty-five. Insistantly stomp at the ground so he see's her writing. Sixty-six. Sixty-seven. Sixty-eight. Exhale. Sixty-nine. Hold in the tears to have a clear vision. Seventy. Give into the pain.

Someone. Please. Make it stop...

1039 words
So sad. urmagawd i can't ._.
@[Antheia] && @[Kaj]