Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
| Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize
ali |
|
In the days since her self inflicted exile from the Foothills Ktulu had wandered far and wide across Helovia. She had avoided the Dark Forest to the best of her abilities, because she feared the place would bring back far too many memories that she just did not want to have to cope with. She had also avoided the setting hoof in the Foothills, but Eytan still roamed the hills occasionally, assuring Ktulu that the family she had left behind were still okay. She often wondered if they knew that she had not abandoned them completely and that she would still come to them if they needed her to. That she would still spill her own blood for them. What made her so loyal to them after she had been so disappointed and disgusted in the lack of ambition she had seen?
Apollo. She had come to love him dearly as a friend and felt guilty that she had put him in the position of a leader only to leave him to his own devices.
Ktulu snorted then blinked as her breath fogged the air in front of her. When had she traveled so far north? How had she not noticed the snow that crunched under her hooves and dusted her back? Belatedly she realized just how numbing the cold was and began to realize just why Ophelia liked the north so much. The cold not only numbed her body but it numbed her mind.
There was only so much cold that Ktulu could take, though, and so the dark mare ducked into a cave that she assumed was unoccupied. Moments later Eytan followed behind her, grumbling because he was hungry and hunting in the dark and in the middle of a frozen wasteland wasn't exactly easy. Ktulu snorted and shook out her mane, effectively sending a swarm of fireflies into the darkness of the cave. "There might be something in here for you to eat." She told the bear, but he just huffed at her. "Go look." Eytan looked at his bonded before ambling into the darkness of the cave, sniffing out anything that might serve as food.
@[Psyche]
|
 |
Icon by Tay
Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE |
| RayoDeSoleil |
|
Who are you?
The question ricocheted around her ever-wandering mind, though it never had to try very hard to gain her attention. In fact, ever since she had unceremoniously dumped her crown into the lap of that blasted engineer, it had been all she could think about. She had assumed a mask of utter indifference to the world, though her roiling emotions bubbled much closer to the surface than they should have. Boredom was the key - if she did not show any emotion, she wouldn't show how close to breaking she really was. Right? And she couldn't have that, not when her dramatic demotion had brought her so close to the edge. No, it was imperative that she retain the cool, detached facade that had gotten her so far in life.
Or was it? Was that all it was - a mask? Who was she, really? Confusion marred her judgment as she found herself wandering through memories of her childhood over and over again, searching for an answer, for a definition that she could apply to herself. She had refused to admit that she questioned the very core of her existence - her hatred of those without a horn. No, to allow that poisonous thought to invade her mind was to admit that she was not who she thought she was. But then, how could she be so very inferior? Just look at her - broken, running, defeated. The lessers had won - so where was her grand theory of superiority now?
Perhaps she had only been kidding herself her entire life. When had she ever been comfortable with who she was? Then again, when had she stopped to consider it? When had she begun to feel like this? Why had she changed so drastically from a femme who wanted nothing more than to carry on her father's legacy? What had she morphed into? What was she now - she was not an equine, but she was not a unicorn anymore either, at least not a full one, in her mind.
Who are you?
She had taken refuge in one of the many caverns that riddled this part of the world, though if you were to ask, she would not admit why she had chosen this place as her temporary home. It was a place of solace and solitude, for it was here that she felt closest to her lost King. Where had Mauja gone, anyway? She remembered him leaving, presumably to stir up trouble, but he had never returned. Why? She closed her eyes, remembered the warm caresses they had shared in these icy tunnels; why had he left her? And, more importantly, why did she care?
A sound pulled her from her reverie, and she habitually began to look for its source. It was a sort of snuffling, shuffling noise, and though she truly didn't care if she shared a home, she would like to know what had invaded her private moment. Around a corner, and she halted, head tilted with apparent confusion, for she had found a bear. Bewildered, she continued to stare at it. She wasn't horribly worried that it would eat her - for, truly, who was there to care, at this point? She did, however, wonder if it was alone.
[W/C | ---]
|
|
Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.
|
|
![[Image: psycheicon.png]](http://i800.photobucket.com/albums/yy285/schwartze_asylum/psycheicon.png)
Please feel free to tag me in all replies!
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
| Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize
ali |
|
As Eytan ambled slowly toward the back of the cave Ktulu stayed at the front of it, gazing out at the darkness. The flurry of fireflies that she had shaken from her mane had settled once more in the pearly white strands. By that time most of them had stopped glowing, but there were several that continued to glow golden in her mane. Everytime she saw them she thought of the Ancient Bear that had gifted her with Eytan when he was still a young cub. The last time she had seen the bear was when he had passed on, leaving the forest without its guardian.
Ktulu's mind was suddenly filled with a vision of black and crimson and the mare turned. Eytan had halted in his exploration of the cave and she could see the outline of a unicorn standing not too far from him. "Eytan." Her voice echoed through the cave holding both a warning in its tone for the unicorn that stood looking at her companion and authority so Eytan would not question her. He was becoming better and better at questioning her decisions, which was both a good and a bad thing. He made her think and he made her realize when she was wrong and when she was right.
There was no aggression in the bear's eyes as he looked up at the fallen queen, nor was there a hint of fear. He was slow about it but he eventually turned and made his way back to Ktulu, who had already begun to close the distance between herself and her companion and their unknown company. She, however, wasn't unknown for long because there was no mistaking the positively infuriating mare.
"Psyche." She said the older's mare name and gave a slight dip of her head, mindful of her horn. "We didn't know this cave was occupied." But she wasn't making any move to leave it. She was weary from travel and wanted to rest a while before she traveled any further into the wilderness.
@[Psyche]
|
|
Icon by Tay
Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE |
| RayoDeSoleil |
|
Would death be preferable to this self-imposed quarantine? Would she rather cease to exist than continue on without that which had made her whole? As she gazed upon the bear with little more than boredom in her amber gaze, she realized that she had utterly and completely changed from who she had once been in the space of only a few short days. The battle had not been so long ago; her impromptu demotion even shorter a time, and yet here she stood, questioning everything while those who had depended on her to lead effortlessly replaced her. Was she worth so very little to those to whom she had given her all? Were they blind to her brave attempts at bettering herself for them, or did they simply fail to care?
Well, it didn't matter now, in any case, for she had removed herself from their home. Ah, home - what a foreign concept it was now! Over and over she had thought to belong somewhere, and over and over again she had been ousted one way or another. What was left for her here? What was left for her anywhere? Was she to wander, alone, all her days, or would she eventually find a place where she fit?
As her niece wandered into view, the shade bristled momentarily through a habitual wariness of the younger fae, from whom she had earned nothing but scorn; the feeling passed quickly, though, and the head that had raised lowered, muscles that had tensed relaxed, and she regarded the half-unicorn with the same look of dejected lifelessness that she had granted the bear. He had not been afraid of the hornless Empress, no more so than his bonded, but even through her depression, the shadow-mare realized that there was something lacking in Ktulu's demeanor. Where was the anger? Where was the hatred? Was she as defeated as her deposed aunt, or was the jackal simply imagining things?
"Ktulu," she returned with a dip of her own hornless cranium, eying her niece's horn in a longing sort of way. If nothing else, it had given her purpose, it had given her reason; now she was nothing, and yet Ktulu's life would go on. Psyche's would not, at least not in the path she had walked all her life. Her vocals were oddly calm, lacking their usual wicked luster. It was almost... friendly, her desperation for some manner of affection, or perhaps simply a metaphorical shoulder to cry on blatantly obvious in a way that it had never been before. Her mask had not slipped, oh no; it had fallen away entirely, and for the first time in her life, the Empress found herself at the mercy of one she had always considered beneath her.
"You don't have to leave," she offered, lowering her gaze, ashamed of her disheveled appearance and distinctly lacking visage. I'm certainly in no mood to make you, she thought miserably. What had her life come to, that she wanted the mutt to stay? That she desired the companionship that even a mutant could provide? Again, her vocals had surprised her, though it did not show in her withdrawn frown, her miserable gaze. There were no odd inflections, no poisonous tones; who was she? Who had she become?
[W/C | ---]
|
|
Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.
|
|
Please feel free to tag me in all replies!
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
| Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize
ali |
|
It was easy to see that there was something off about Psyche the moment that she saw her. The older mare did not carry herself with the same haughty pride that had made Ktulu's skin crawl and gut churn with the desire to put a hoof through her skull. There was no malice in the Jackal's tone as her niece's name fell from her lips, which actually left the younger mare concerned. Her ears rotated back and lay against her skull and her head tilted slightly as she studied the older mare's face and demeanor. She did not hold herself like a Queen should and so it led the Constrictor to wonder if her throne had been taken from her in the aftermath of the failed invasion she had launched foolishly on two herds. She could take the time now to point out how stupid she had been, but Ktulu chose not to. The invasion was history, recent history, but it was over. The events that had unfolded and the decisions that had been made could not be undone.
"You don't have to leave."
And then she knew it.
"You've fallen far, Psyche." Ktulu responded quietly. "Since when do you desire my company?" There was no sarcasm in her voice, only curiosity masking her own desire for company aside from the bear that was forever bonded to her. He didn't stay by his own choice. He stayed because they were one being. One soul. One mind. Ktulu's gaze rose and she looked at the DarkEmpress' broken crown, but unlike Psyche's own people Ktulu did not pass judgement on that alone. It was not the horn (or lack thereof) that made one great, it was the choices they made in their lives that made them great.
Neither of them were great. It seemed more and more that they were one in the same.
"Horn broken." Eytan's gruff voice infiltrated Ktulu's head and she gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. "Dark mare sad." He insisted, his head caramel gaze finding Ktulu's crimson one. "Not whole." This had the dark mare confused, but as she rolled the idea through her brain she began to understand. Psyche had taken pride in her horn and now it was gone. She was incomplete. A shadow of what she had been. With her horn gone so was her pride.
"Make better." He said, sending Ktulu a mental image of Psyche lowering her head for him, which made her frown and look questioningly at the bear. Was he serious. "Make. Better." He insisted. Ktulu sighed to herself and looked at Psyche. "He wants you to put your head down."
@[Psyche]
|
|
Icon by Tay
Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE |
| RayoDeSoleil |
|
It was all for the better that the Constrictor did not deign to point out the shade's recent stupidity. If her niece had brought up such a subject, it would perhaps have been met with a snort and a shake of the head, an assurance that she, in fact, had not been the mastermind of that particular plan. No, she had merely given her approval and joined in their battle. She had felt incompetent at the time, given that it was her subordinates that had come up with some form of a plan rather than she herself; that was nothing in comparison to what she felt now. Outlawed, disgraced, broken. Perhaps, if Ktulu had spoken of their recent, closely entwined path, the deposed queen would have said nothing at all. Perhaps she would have merely looked on with sad eyes, pain lending a blank glaze to orbs that had once held sharp wit and wickedness.
But she did not bring it up, and so the silence continued.
It was only a matter of time until Ktulu took notice of the changes in the fallen Empress, and though the shadow-mare expected it, she winced nonetheless when acknowledgment came. She had fallen far, that was the truth; it was an understatement, but there it was. Since when did she desire the company of those beneath her? Ah, what a question. At first, it is met with only more silence. It was not a hostile sort of quiet that filled the cave then, but more so a deep, resounding lack of emotive forces that only spoke of the mare's loss. She sighed, then, and the noise echoed harshly throughout their sanctuary. "My own choice of company would turn their back on me. I cannot help but wonder if their companionship was worth it." She forced a faltering smile, bravely, new to this game of normality and truth. Or, rather, half-truths, for she still ached for the life she had lost.
She didn't quite catch the exchange between her niece and the bear, but when Ktulu voiced his request, the shadow-mare stared blankly, taken aback. The logical part of her brain functioned still, albeit sluggishly, and it shrieked a distant alarm. But she retained the numbness of shock, and it was that which led her to follow the creature's instruction. After all, what harm was there left to do to her cranium, after all that she had been through? Perhaps the other mare had simply recognized a lost cause and sought to put her out of her misery. It might even be welcomed, the release from this life, the release from the expectations and the failures and the pain. As she lowered her head, gazing apprehensively at the bear, she found only one thought:
Does death hurt?
[W/C | ---]
|
|
Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.
|
|
Please feel free to tag me in all replies!
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
| Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize
ali |
|
"My own choice of company would turn their back on me. I cannot help but wonder if their companionship was worth it."
"I supposed I'm not choice company." Ktulu said evenly, and she knew she wasn't. The only time she had ever really met the fallen Lady they had not met on good terms and had departed on even worse, though there were certain events that had taken place to make the meeting as unpleasant as it was. "To be honest you would not be my choice either." She sighed and shifted her weight so a hind hoof rested on its tip. "But here we are." Two fallen queens. Two failures. Two completely destroyed individuals, though they had been destroyed on completely separate ways and on different levels. Ktulu looked down at Eytan again and watched the bear as he gazed up at Psyche. "If they turn their backs on you then they're not worth your time." She said quietly, though in the cave even whispers sounded deafening.
The Constrictor lapsed into silence as her thoughts drifted back to the recent battle and the report she'd been given by the Dauntless. "I lost one of my own in that invasion." She said, and her tone should have been laced with bitterness, but instead she sounded resigned. "My uncle, my own flesh and blood. I sent him to battle and he fell to Mirage." Eytan whined and Ktulu stopped short. Her lips pressed together in a thin line and she snorted, her ears disappearing into the shock of white mane at her crest. She was angry and felt resentment toward the Edge's leader, though she had only been doing what any leader would have done. Ktulu, herself, would have fought to kill should a force invade her borders. That alone, however, didn't stop the guilt that kept her stomach knotted.
As Psyche conceded to Eytan's request and lowered her head Ktulu looked on, curious as to what he intended on doing, and watchful of Psyche's body language. The bear scooted himself closer to the Jackal and looked at the broken bit of her horn, then touched his cold nose to the base of it. "Not less." He said in Ktulu's mind, his voice so strong and forceful that it took her by surprise. "Still whole. Still great." A soft growl rumbled in his chest and resonated through the cave. "No sad no more." He continued to nuzzle Psyche's forehead and Ktulu's brow furrowed in confusion at the mixture of emotions she was receiving from the bear. "Horn no make greatness." In one final gesture the bear licked at Psyche's forehead then turned to look at Ktulu. "Tell." He instructed as he continued to sit near the DarkEmpress.
Ktulu's crimson eyes shifted to Psyche, who she assumed would be just as confused by Eytan's actions as she had been. "Eytan says that you are no less than what you were before." She gestured to the mare's broken crown. "He says that you are still whole. It doesn't take a horn to make someone great." She looked at the bear then, who looked on approvingly at his bonded before turning his head to Psyche and giving her a toothy yet playful, bear-ish grin. "And he says that you shouldn't be sad."
@[Psyche]
|
|
Icon by Tay
Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE |
| RayoDeSoleil |
|
"You would not be my choice either," the Constrictor told her with a sigh, and though the Empress expected no less, the words were still a slap. She knew full well that her niece had never been particularly fond of the distant, haughty aunt that her father had no doubt spoken of without much love, but besides that she now harbored a deep, resounding fear that she had never been and would never be loved. She would never have anyone care for her, or anyone to care for (after all, she had cared for Mauja and where was he now?), and she certainly would not have much company in her self-afflicted quarantine. But they did not want her at home; the did not wish her to lead them, she who had been so broken, she who had sunk so low. Was that her fate - to be forever frowned upon, shuffled aside in favor of one more able than she?
"I tried to give them greatness," she remarked bitterly, her gaze still downcast, her vocals thick with emotion. "And yet, as you say, here we are." The smile that marred her features then was cold, but it was not cruel. It slipped away just as quickly as it appeared as the shade sank into her own misery again. The thought was on her lips before she could stop it: "Perhaps I have been wrong all along." It was a quiet, defeated whisper, but in it, there was a tinge of hope, for if she had been chasing some errant dream, there was a chance that she could still achieve greatness in some other, better way.
And then Ktulu spoke of a lost soldier, an uncle, and Psyche's auds pricked curiously toward her. Not Paladin, then, he being her father; but which uncle would she speak of? The shadow-mare turned thoughts of her family over briefly, remembering those she had seen in this land since her own arrival. "Donovan?" she asked, resignation in her voice as a frown spread across her visage. "I am sorry, Ktulu. It seems our family has been cursed with poor luck, doesn't it?" She did not wonder if the younger mare knew of her family ties; it was an easy assumption that Paladin would have spoken of his stupid, inconsequential, plain sister who sought to rise so far above her station. Perhaps he had told his children of her failures as a warning. A grimace found its way briefly to her face, but she was distracted by the bear's odd behavior.
It began with a gentle touch to the stump where her horn had once protruded so proudly. Her auds flicked back, and then forward, a mark of her uncertainty; a swish of the tail was the only other movement the deposed queen dared make. His nose was cold as it made its way to her forehead; she did not feel the wetness of the touch through her own pelt, but she was vividly aware of the chill that it left on her. He growled softly, and she tensed, flinching, as though expecting teeth at any moment, but when they did not come, she allowed him a gentle lick before glancing questioningly at her niece. Ktulu translated, and the shade looked at the bear with an odd mixture of apprehension and appreciation. "It is not so easy, young one," she informed him. "It is difficult to be happy when everything you have has been ripped from your grasp."
[W/C | ---]
|
|
Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.
|
|
Please feel free to tag me in all replies!
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
| Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE |
|
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize
ali |
|
"Perhaps I have been wrong all along."
Ktulu's crimson gaze was unwavering as she looked at Psyche, several different thoughts churning within her recesses of her mind and several more comments on the edge of her lips. "You wouldn't be the first to be wrong." She said several minutes later. What was the Empress wrong about, though? Ktulu was not stupid nor was she deaf, she knew about the rumors that echoed about the herd that Psyche had lead being full of racists that flaunted their pureblood and spit upon those who were half breeds or hornless in general. Was that what the Empress was wrong about? Being racist? Her views on the lowly creatures of Helovia that she would squash under her hooves as she would a bug that crawled into her path? But what proof did Ktulu have that the mare had lead a band of racists bent on the destruction of anything that wasn't pure? Hearsay was not proof and neither was gut instinct, but Ktulu had always followed her instincts before and for the most part they had served her well.
In the end she let it go, only because Psyche spoke Donovan's name. She was already cold, but a new kind of cold washed over her, chilling her to her very core and threatening to make her teeth rattle. Guilt was an overwhelming force that still threatened to drive the very breath from her lungs. Psyche had not been the only one that had been wrong. She had thought she could lead a band of soldiers and not be adversely affected when one of them fell. She thought she could stay distant emotionally, but against her will and better judgement she'd come to care for the idiots that followed her and went to war at her command. She came to love some of them like she would her own family and she felt remorse for letting them down and damning them.
"I am sorry, Ktulu. It seems our family has been cursed with poor luck, doesn't it?"
Ktulu stared, dumbfounded at the DarkEmpress, who was already preoccupied with Eytan and whatever his ritual was. She continued to stare, noting what she should have known were family resemblances all along, but she'd been far too occupied with her herd and being angry with Ophelia and Psyche to see it. "Our family?" She prompted Psyche, much to Eytan's annoyance because the bear had a lot more to say to the Empress, but before he continued with his nonsense Ktulu wanted to know exactly how she and Psyche were related. She wanted to know more about her family and the deep dark secrets that her father had kept hidden from her all of her life.
@[Psyche]
|
|
Icon by Tay
Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
| Deceased |
| Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE |
| RayoDeSoleil |
|
Perhaps if the shade had been paying attention, she would have seen the questions on Ktulu's face, but as it were she was not privy to the younger mare's thoughts. What would her niece think of her, to have her racism confirmed? The thought would have been an odd one, for the deposed Empress had been found in a particularly disheveled state: if she denounced her old ways, if she learned how to live in kinder way, if she tried to view those she had looked down Upon for so long in a better light, would it make a difference? Would she be forgiven, or would she always be hated? Worse, would she be able to forgive herself?
She was not destined for greatness, not destined to be revered, of that she was now sure. And, surprisingly, she was not angered by the realization. What had her brief stint of glory brought her except exhaustion and, at the end of it, a very blunt kick in the ass for things entirely beyond her control? How much good had she done, how had she furthered her race? She had done nothing except fail. This was better, to be no one and nothing, alone in her misery, forgotten to all that had once known her. She would be a legend - no, not even that. She would be a, "remember when," her name only brought out when its speaker had had far too many odd mushrooms, compared to the other great failures of the world.
It did not hurt to be a failure; it hurt to be alone.
And it had taken her far too long to realize that.
Ktulu's question broke through her reverie, and her amber gaze rose to meet her niece's. For a moment, the shade stares in silence, for wouldn't it be better if Ktulu continued to think she was no more than another run down mare? But in the end, her loneliness (and her not-quite-real decision to be a better unicorn) won out, and her vocals formed quietly, echoing softly against the icy walls her their refuge. "Your father is my half-brother," she informed the femme, allowing a moment for the implications to sink in. "Though I can't blame him for trying to escape that fate." She sighed deeply then, something akin to shame coloring her eyes.
"Have you truly learned nothing of your heritage?"
[W/C | ---]
|
|
Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.
|
|
Please feel free to tag me in all replies!
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
⇒
[P] tear the sun and me apart [psyche]
