the Rift


A Story of a Story

Blu the Bootyful Posts: 443
Administrator atk: 99 | def: 99 | dam: 99
Mare :: Other :: 5'7" :: 25 HP: 99999 | Buff: TWERK
Blu
#15
FAIL

Come to me, my sweetest Queen, for I’ve a story to tell. --Gender reference
+1| [Gender ref] yep!

It’s probably not one you know by name, but one you should know well.
0| Fluff

Of a man named Douglas Kelley, taken by suicide they claim -- Douglas Kelley was spy and a Psychiatrist/Doctor at the Nuremburg Prison (Lakota is now an Apothecary and once an assassin/spy in they Grey)
-1| [Rank ref] Hmm, although a doctor, the fact he was especially a psychologist distracts me because Lakota is a healer by rank which is more direct medicine related than psychology. Additionally the way this clue is worded seems to suggest the suicide plays the greater roll of interest here, which to me doesn't relate to Lakota.

But you should know the telltale fate that comes alongside his name
0| fluff

The Nazi ways were but a guise that took his world by storm
-1| [Personality ref] Nazi ways to me suggests a racist/supremacist which led me to thinking of the Plague or the Equine Empire. The Grey was never similar to a Nazi nor were they involved with any of the racist groups on here.

He distrusted their food, a rightful shrewd
0| [Personality ref] Made me think of a distrusting/shrewd character.

But he abided by their games -- Lakota followed the World's Edge to the Hidden Falls and also the Grey to the Widtossed Foothills
0| [History ref] This clue does not lead me to thinking of Lakota being in several herds, following her family.

But upon his return home, he carried away their tact
0| fluff

A bottle of something sickly sweet -- Kelley was rumored to have poisoned himself with potassium cyanide (Lakota the Poisioner) and if you google Douglas Kelley Suicide as referenced above, it'll bring up the article about it from which I pulled the information)
0| [Name ref] This was just too vague to point to poison for me, I was thinking more like alcohol.

That he can’t take back
0| fluff

A sip or two, or three or four
0| fluff

Took that ether away
0| fluff

But the papers did deny
0| fluff

That he killed himself that day --Fluff
0| fluff

Do you find the rumors true, a fitting end for him?
0| fluff

Or would you agree that the God would see his alternative a sin?
-1| [Personality ref] This seemed to suggest a religious character.

I come to you, most tried and true to share this woeful tale
0| Fluff

But as it appears, of your barbs and sneers, your democracy is thin -- "Lakota was born and raised a princess, and as such is capable of being refined, aristocratic, and diplomatic. Whether or not she utilizes those attributes is entirely different. Lakota is often incredibly cynical, with a penchant (some would even call it an addiction) for sarcasm and sass."
"However the most important thing about the Poisoner is that each barb and threat has meaning."
Lakota is described to make barbs at others and has little connection with democracy
+1| [Personality ref] Awesome

I’d come to believe that a lass like you, as dainty as a flower -- "Slim and dainty, she doesn't appear to be much" described as dainty.
+1| [Appearance ref] Yep.

Would not possess a militant air, a cruel and judgmental glower --but the scars that cover her body are tributes to her life as a warrior and a killer.
-1| [Appearance ref] This clue doesn't lead me to think of scars, and you're saying she is a militant horse, but the clue says not militant.

Your war-battered smile is a sweet delight that catches a laddie’s eye --Seductive when regarding males
-1| [Personality ref] I don't see where this is true?

One glimpse of you and he’s struck too by your immaculate attire --Equine reference
0| [Species ref] I get your idea with this one, but immaculate attire does not in and of itself mean equine to me. I would have been looking for someone without markings, or a solid, perhaps 'clean' color (like white) that fit into immaculate attire better than a species- as Aud said above, to think Equine are immaculate would require being an equine supremacist.

But know that I come to share this tale, a bitter and dying end
0| fluff

For your people are cursed, cast aside, disbursed…
0| Fluff

Forced to walk a trail, a path carved not of their sin --The Lakota people were forced to talk the trail of tears because of the Indian Removal act
0| [Name ref] A great reveal for that clue, but little in this line that would point me in that direction.


-2/3 necessary to pass

Overall there was just too much. Too much fluff so that the real clues got lost and some fluff detracted from the clues or mislead. You seemed to rely on the whole stealth working as a whole, when each line is what is considered a clue and must stand alone.
 HP: 1100

Helovia Hard Mode


Messages In This Thread
A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-01-2015, 11:20 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-01-2015, 11:20 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Mauja - 06-03-2015, 10:48 AM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-03-2015, 12:12 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Ghost - 06-03-2015, 01:43 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-03-2015, 01:59 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Thranduil - 06-03-2015, 05:30 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-03-2015, 06:05 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Camon - 06-03-2015, 06:14 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Gaucho - 06-03-2015, 07:15 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-03-2015, 08:57 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Mirage - 06-03-2015, 10:42 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Essetia - 06-03-2015, 11:43 PM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Odd - 06-04-2015, 10:38 AM
RE: A Story of a Story - by Blu - 06-06-2015, 06:34 PM

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