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10-26-2013, 10:58 PM
I suppose I was lonely far more often than I was alone.
We never said it wasn't complicated. We never said it worked out swimmingly all the time (goodness knows we could start our own business selling all the wrenches that had been thrown into our plans throughout the brief years). I never let him see the pain, even when I knew he could sense it anyway, and I did not mention the nights his eyes drifted more somberly toward the earth in the grips of his own suffering. That was our compromise; that was our price our mother never told us we would pay for our 'gift'.
I wandered through the moonlit meadow as though entranced, my eyes and thoughts fixed first upon the skies. These were the selfsame stars of my childhood, though perhaps it was not their season or their place. Wherever I might wander, however lost I might become, my stars always showed up again somewhere, somewhen. Even his star was there, hanging bright and nameless amongst the sea of insignificant others. My gaze lingered upon it with a half-smile equally charged with pride and regret.
Oh, the irony of scouring the sky for angels.
Sasha, like my red shadow, had little natural patience for the stars, however gracious he might be in humoring my enthusiasm. With the skies as clear as they were, he would understand the chill of my absence, and yet...and yet.
The stars did not occupy the width and breadth of my attention tonight. I began there as I had begun on the night of my birth, necessarily comforted by the familiarity, but some part of me hoped instead for the future.
I was a lost boy. One day, perhaps soon, I would begin to grow up.
We never said it wasn't complicated. We never said it worked out swimmingly all the time (goodness knows we could start our own business selling all the wrenches that had been thrown into our plans throughout the brief years). I never let him see the pain, even when I knew he could sense it anyway, and I did not mention the nights his eyes drifted more somberly toward the earth in the grips of his own suffering. That was our compromise; that was our price our mother never told us we would pay for our 'gift'.
I wandered through the moonlit meadow as though entranced, my eyes and thoughts fixed first upon the skies. These were the selfsame stars of my childhood, though perhaps it was not their season or their place. Wherever I might wander, however lost I might become, my stars always showed up again somewhere, somewhen. Even his star was there, hanging bright and nameless amongst the sea of insignificant others. My gaze lingered upon it with a half-smile equally charged with pride and regret.
Oh, the irony of scouring the sky for angels.
Sasha, like my red shadow, had little natural patience for the stars, however gracious he might be in humoring my enthusiasm. With the skies as clear as they were, he would understand the chill of my absence, and yet...and yet.
The stars did not occupy the width and breadth of my attention tonight. I began there as I had begun on the night of my birth, necessarily comforted by the familiarity, but some part of me hoped instead for the future.
I was a lost boy. One day, perhaps soon, I would begin to grow up.
