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the girl
Consider your origin. You were not formed to live like brutes but to follow virtue and knowledge.
It helped somewhat to hear that the aid her Mother required was based off of incorrect assumptions. From what Kaj had explained, it seemed that all of Kahlua's fears were based on the dispositions of other foals. The girl was the offspring of a God. If nothing else, that should have suggested to Kahlua that her child would be different from the others. Although perhaps part of her fear did stem from her paternity. Was Kahlua worried about offending the God by her poor parenting? Did she think he would be around all the time once his child had been born, and thus Kahlua would have to consistently and constantly bear the oppressive stare and judgement of a deity? Her lips twitched as he mentioned having the herd to love and nature her - was that why Aly said they were friends? Is it why she introduced her to Far? Is it why Kaj was here now? The girl felt unsettled and undecided about this new information.
It wasn't bad ... but it didn't make the girl feel good either.
She shrugged off his description of Kahlua, Aly, and Brisa and their complicated relationship. She had asked out of curiosity, but the more she was hearing the more she was able to write off the confusing things her mother did as mere emotive responses.
But it means that you see things clearer, that you cannot fall prey to things that would manipulate or fool you
In this, the girl felt the greatest compliment and consolation that she had ever experienced before. Her golden gaze shifted abruptly to Kaj, as her listening became more rapt and attentive. He reiterated to her what she already believed of herself, and yet for some reason his endorsement solidified her own judgments. The girl had never thought she needed approval, and yet here she was ... relishing it.
"I agree. Nature moves on impassively ... but that does not make it cruel. Tornadoes and hurricanes can cause devastation, but we don't think that they are evil, even when they destroy lives. I like being a part of the machine. I have a job to do, and I shall do it. I do not fault others for misunderstanding my job, or when they break down ... and yet I understand that they might fault and judge me just the same. They don't see the machine, not like you and I do. They don't understand."
The girl was surprised to admit, even to herself, that she felt better. Her mind felt elated and lightened by Kaj's words. He had given her the encouragement and reassurance that she had needed to solidify her beliefs. She did have a purpose. They all did. And even when others could see or understand her, or her part in this world, it was okay. They were all a part of the machine - and some cogs were simply not made to understand the entirety of what they were apart of.
The scale of it was reassuring and calming. As the girl shifted her gaze back out to the sea, she inhaled deeply and held onto the air. She tasted the salt and the brine, and it was good. Exhaling slowly, she smiled.
"Thank you." She mumbled softly. It made her feel awkward to express her gratitude, and yet she felt compelled nonetheless. Still, she couldn't pull her gaze away from the sea to accompany her words. It would have been too intimate in her mind, and the girl was simply not capable of that. Still, she thought Kaj would understand.
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[O] To fuel the song that's underneath
