Every second I trailed her, I grew more and more timid. I was truly afraid of being myself. Sure, they'd say 'be yourself', but then when you are yourself, all they do is judge and judge and judge and judge. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of all of it. I'm sick of letting everyone down, crying myself to sleep, being hurt and hurting others, but most of all, I'm sick of being me.
A single, salty, tear ran its way down my cheek, and it was because I couldn't open my mouth and answer her call. The tear was my eyes verbalizing what my mouth cannot. My heart was showing through my watery eyes, but my mouth remained sealed. With every second, my heart broke more and more, shattering over and over. With every step, my muscles ached and protested, as if saying that it would be better to stop following her and lie down, just give the vultures my life because it's clearly not worth living anymore.
I'd always known that I was slowly giving up with each passing day, but today I almost gave up completely. I wanted to run from Helovia and leave all the memories behind. I'd become something horrible and putrid and not even my mate wanted me, no one does. I was grime and dirt that couldn't be washed away, the rash with no ointment, the flu with no flu vaccine. I wouldn't be leaving any time soon, and everyone knew it. But perhaps I had changed my mind? If I was going to leave, it'd be now. If I left Helovia now, it wouldn't be a happy ending, but damn would it be a story.
Quietly I murmured under my breath, "you weren't just a star, you where the whole damn galaxy to me." meeting Destry was like listening to a song that I knew would become my favorite, until I heard the lyrics. Now look at us.
If Destry and I were parallel lines, we'd have a lot in common but we would never meet, always side by side but never touching nor connecting, which is sad. But we aren't that. We are all the other pairs of lines, meeting only once and fading away from each other to never meet again.
My body is stilled with a sudden halt, the only thing moving were my sides as they expanded and then shrunk with each intake and exhale of the Birdsong air. Even my heart was still in my chest, afraid to beat, afraid of the pain that would come once it began to work. My heart hurt like a tongue would hurt if you stapled it to a wall. (Metaphorically of course.) My eyelids fluttered for a moment before they shut, shielding my ivory irises from the blinding sun, from the inky dot that was Destry flying in the sky. Once my eyes reopen, my heart breaks again. From where I stand, I see her lips tugged into a smile. A second lowly tear falls from my eyes. Why is she smiling? Is this a game to her? Did she even go get a quest from the God of the Earth? Did she even care? Wasn't her hurt breaking like mine? Then why was she smiling? I felt humiliated a I knew she only thought of me as an easy lay. Of course, who wouldn't think of me like that? I didn't even know her and I still rushed into love. I gave my heart to her and she gave it back broken, smiling as she did so. I felt angry now, angrier than ever before. Within my body, I felt fire threatening to envelope me. My more primal side began taking over as I began thinking about attacking her for breaking my heart. The pained expression that had so clearly been written on my face was wiped away, replaced by a sour look. My tail swatted behind my ass angrily and my nostrils began to flare. She had played with fire, and she was now going to feel the burn.
Success isn't the result of spontaneous combustion.