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07-23-2015, 09:35 PM
Ranjiri
{
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
It occurred to me as I stood in the middle of the meadow shivering that I really wasn't meant for the cold. My coat was too thin from living for so long in the Throat so I had little to insulate me against the onslaught of snow and frigid wind that buffeted against me. I trembled as I stood and the snow gathered around my hooves and up my legs, a testament to how long I'd been standing in that one place. Each breath I took burned my throat and each exhale was a cloud that made frost cling to my whiskers...
I should have stayed home, but I had needed an escape. After telling Cera about dad I just ... I needed to get away. I needed to clear my head. I needed to be alone again even though I had been alone for so long. And... I guess I needed to think a little bit, too, about what Cera had said about my memories and about his. Was it really okay for me to keep that memory about how dad died? Was it right for me to get rid of it and pretend like it didn't happen? Would it be disrespectful to get rid of it...?
I just wanted all of this to pass. I wanted to to be finished with all of the pain and the grief. I wanted to be able to just ... I don't know. I wanted to feel okay again. I didn't like feeling so fragile. Or so lost. I wanted to be able to sleep without being plagued by nightmares. I didn't want to feel so angry deep down inside about an invasion that I couldn't control and an outcome that I also didn't have any control over.
I just ... I wanted to be myself again.
I snorted and I could feel the tickle of a tear rolling down my cheek so I ducked my head down to rub against my foreleg. The last thing I wanted was my tears frozen to my face... no, I suppose that was wrong. The last thing I wanted was to be frozen in place and that's what was happening. I could feel the cramping in my muscles and it was painful to force myself to take a step forward, but I did. And I took another step and it occurred to me that at the rate I was going I'd be frozen solid before I ever made it out of the meadow and back to the Throat.
@[Destrier]
"."
ooc://
weather: uhh ... heavy snowfall but not quite a blizzard?
aud pixel!
