KAJ

the

aurelight

Everything was going wrong.

His heart ached nearly as much as his leg, his shoulder, the creak of his bones and the scar on his foreleg. He was not old, so why did he feel it? The years had not treated him well, but he was still breathing, didn't that count for something? Was he really meant to still be alive, Fate's plans laid out unseen before him, or was he just too stubborn and desperate to die? What favors would blossom from the corpse of his passing? He found himself wondering far too often what the sweet embrace of death would feel like, the depression that had fallen upon him after he lost his leg's mobility haunting him. Kaj knew he should speak to someone about it, perhaps seek out Resplendence, but he could not bear the sight of her tears when he told her that sometimes he thought his death would be more beneficial in the grand scheme of the world than sorrowful.

He missed the times of old, the old Edge and her members haunting his dreams. Mirage, whose guidance he could always rely upon. Kahlua, before the world - him, he had done that to her, by coming into her life, infecting her with his presence, his curse - had killed her smile. Destrier, when they were still friends, still brothers. Quilyan, as well. Evangeline and Alysanne, for how much they hated him now for making one of the hardest decisions of his life for the sake of his family. Maskan, the mentor he'd always relied upon and looked up to. His heart cried for Rishima's wisdom, her motherly, loving patience. He missed them, missed them all so much it felt like he was dying inside. Where were they now?

Gone.

He had failed them, all of them, and he stood in the empty meadow with its brittle grasses and the hot sun on his back, staring in the direction of the Edge lands. Wings drooped low, primaries resting carelessly upon the ground. Defeated. Tears rolled slowly, unchecked, from hollow eyes that saw only memories instead of the land before him. "I'm so sorry," he choked helplessly, words soft, tone broken. "Your faith was misplaced. I've failed you. And I'm so sorry." His throat choked closed, and he wished he had the strength to fall to the earth, but his legs simply wouldn't move. Watching the west, knowing that nobody would come looking for him. Nearly all his friends were gone, and his lack of purpose had left him stranded in the middle of an ocean with no desire to swim.