the Rift


[OPEN] Can we go back?

Rhoa Posts: 175
Deceased atk: 5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Colt :: Pegasus :: 17hh :: 3 HP: 65 | Buff: ENDURE
Odd
#7


She doesn't know Mauja? I almost laugh, and have to quickly inhale to keep myself from expelling the amused air in my mouth, or letting my lips quiver in a smile. How could she not know him? It was Mauja after all.  But in the big scheme of things, it was minutely unimportant. That she didn't know Glacia made my heart ease slightly. At least there wouldn't be that complication to deal with.

Do you love her?

"No-" I blurted out the word before my mind could even wrap itself around forming an answer. But it was true, I didn't, but perhaps I shouldn't have answered so readily. What did that say about me? If I didn't love her, then what business did I have siring her child?

Still, I couldn't bring myself to offer a defence. What would I say? How could I explain to Jiji the hopelessness that covered me like a cloak? That when I said I was leaving Helovia, that I might equally have meant leaving this world, until Glacia found me? But she hadn't found me - not the way Jiji had on the beach. Glacia had ... had been there. In the whiteness, in the solitude. She had been, and she was warm in the way nothing else in a million miles was warm. She had just fit and satisfied a need that I had never experienced before.

But the thought of telling Jiji that it was a loneliness that conspired with sexual need that was at the heart of all of this, felt so ugly and horrible that I almost shuddered at the thought.

"It was ... thoughtless in the truest sense of the word. I didn't think. I had only just learned her name ... It was like a dream-" Oh Gods, I'm rambling and can't stop-- "not that kind of dream. It didn't seem real. I didn't think--"

I can't bear to look at her. My gaze drops, and the blood-red of the sand swims before my eyes. I want to pause just to think. To think about what she's said and how i've responded ... can I just ... can I just tell her that I love her? Will that make her understand? Will it even make sense?

"I'm so sorry."

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Messages In This Thread
Can we go back? - by Rhoa - 02-05-2016, 02:46 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Ranjiri - 02-05-2016, 03:01 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Rhoa - 02-05-2016, 03:14 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Ranjiri - 02-05-2016, 03:32 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Rhoa - 02-05-2016, 03:45 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Ranjiri - 02-05-2016, 04:05 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Rhoa - 02-05-2016, 04:57 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Ranjiri - 02-05-2016, 05:31 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Rhoa - 02-19-2016, 10:02 PM
RE: Can we go back? - by Ranjiri - 02-23-2016, 01:08 PM

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