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02-05-2016, 05:31 PM
"No."
He said it so quickly that it made me frown. How could you not love someone that you did ... that with? How could you not love someone was was going to be the mother of your child? I didn't understand it because I grew up in a family where there was love. My mother and father might not have stayed together but they had loved one another when they decided to have me. Uncle Archi loved Circe when they were together. Momma loves Lakota and they have my little brother together. How? How could he sire a child with a woman that he was so quick to say that he didn't love. "Does she know?" I asked my next question quietly. "...that you don't love her?" Because my god if she thought he did what would it do to her to find out that he didn't?
He tried to explain that it was thoughtless. That he had only just learned her name when it happened, as if that was going to make it better. That it felt like a dream that he didn't think was real. But it was real. It was very real and he was going to be a father. I understood the panic, then. "Is that why you're panicking?" I found myself asking. "Because you figured out that its real? Do you even want to be a father?" My control was slipping, the jealousy that I felt was beginning to slip through and show in my tone and I had to make myself stop talking and asking questions by biting down on my tongue. What good would it do to make him more upset? What good would it do to make him feel worse and make him leave? As upset as I was at the whole situation I didn't want him to leave again.
"I'm so sorry."
"Me, too." I said because I didn't know what else to say. The more I thought about it and the more it stewed in my mind the more I hated to say congratulations. It seemed inappropriate considering the circumstances. Coupled along with my own feelings I didn't know if I would be able to force the word past my lips without grimacing. "Are you staying here?" Was my next question. "Or... are you going live with your child?"
"."
you won't forget the heavy steps it took to let it go
close your eyes, count to ten, hold your breath and fly
image creditsclose your eyes, count to ten, hold your breath and fly
@Rhoa
aud pixel!
