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02-23-2016, 01:08 PM
Of course he wanted to be a father, that was no surprise to me. I think internally everyone has some kind of desire to have children, but whether it comes from a place of doing it out of love or doing it to continue a bloodline is individual. The apple never falls far from the tree, so how could Rhoa be any different from Gaucho with his desire to procreate? My ears fell back against my head and I snorted to myself as I compared father to son. "But not like this?" Rhoa claimed and I just stared at him. If not like that then how.
"Well, its too late to change what happened." I said far too dismissively. "What's done is done and now you have to deal with the consequences." Consequences that were a child that ... that could have been mine in some other universe where my silly little crush was more than that and my feelings were reciprocated. But it hurt to think of it that way, so I forced that thought from my head violently. I didn't need to think about it. I didn't need to dwell on something that would never happen because I would only be hurting myself and I was tired of hurting.
So tired.
But it seemed as though this whole meeting was just destined from the beginning to be something designed to hurt. When Rhoa finally spoke, when he finally told me this time he would be able to tell my bye I wanted to scream. I felt like he was mocking me from when he'd found me after he finally came back. I wanted to scream at him and hit him and just make him hurt, like it would make me hurt any less or feel any better. It was a part of myself that rarely ever surfaced and when it did it scared me.
It took every ounce of strength I had to not go after him, but I trembled. I shook as I stood there glaring. "Don't bother." I hissed between gritted teeth and I turned, then, because I didn't even want to look at him anymore. I wanted to be done with the whole conversation and forget that it ever happened and leave the feelings that I'd had right there in the sand at his hooves. I didn't even bother to look back as I started back up the dune I had come down when he'd called for me.
"."
you won't forget the heavy steps it took to let it go
close your eyes, count to ten, hold your breath and fly
image creditsclose your eyes, count to ten, hold your breath and fly
@Rhoa
aud pixel!
