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03-25-2016, 10:16 PM
Mesec wanted the strength to look away from her but he couldn’t, not now. He was so sure these last few moments were going to be all he had - so sure that there was no way out this time - the least he could do was stand here and look at her. Her face was already memorized, he didn’t even need these moments to do that. Why replace the memories of her laughter, of her smile, with the tortured expression she wore now - the tears that he had caused.
Her shout about how it hadn’t been luck had him shaking his head. Of course it had been. “Luck and your mate’s ability to anger… it.” Every time he thought or commented on Gaucho’s place in her life it was another wound but he welcomed the pain now. At least she’d have him. Lucius had told him how thoroughly the Sultan had commanded the warg’s attention - even with the ability to teleport it had only sought out the stallion that had thrown flames toward it. What jealousy existed in him towards Gaucho could not be held onto any longer. There was no future where Ampere would be better off with the monster that Mesec had become instead of the one she had started a family with.
He was weak and he thought he could see it - see how strong Gaucho and Ampere would be together - and he was so glad for it no matter how much it hurt.
His knees buckled as she claimed he was part of her family too - a staggering step taken to keep himself upright. The exhaustion was wearing on him - Lucius helpfully pointed out that even if Mesec was to run right now, he wouldn’t get very far. Adrenaline had only helped so much but there was little left for the demigod to run on now. All that seemed to be left was sadness in him, all the light had been used up and burnt away.
“HOW can you fix me, Ampere? It’s too much this time.” To reach out and touch her now was incredibly selfish but he couldn’t help it. He took a step closer to her, prepared with every tiny movement for her to recoil from him but refusing to hesitate. If this was going to be the last time he saw her, the last time he touched her, he wouldn’t let his insecurities get in the way. His voice was heavy but hollow, the sadness was rooted far too deeply this time. His silver muzzle sought her cheek if she let him, where the tracks of her tears were. “I don’t belong in your family or your herd.” He had been so close. So close to actually believing that he belonged in both. Megaera had helped that along and even now he thought of the friends he had made there - of Ranjiri, Cera, Ilios, Najya, Aithniel, Zero, Morrigan...
But though light cannot exist without the dark they did not belong together. He had been born to be the darkness, no matter how much he fought that nature. “I need to leave. It’s the best thing I can do for everyone now.” He was pleading with her now, begging her to understand that this was what he had to do, hating that even now he was able to find hope. He did not want to leave, he just couldn’t see another solution. He could not lurk in the wilds of Helovia, ignoring everyone and waiting for the next thing to trigger the painful shift avoiding everyone. “But especially for you.”
The weight of this goodbye was sparking a battle that Mesec feared he’d face for the rest of his life - fighting to keep his emotions in check and losing.
Lucius noticed the signs first - bursting from Mesec’s back to hurl himself at Ampere, to get her away as Mesec collapsed.
--
It was daytime when Mesec woke up. The shift had not lasted long - he had collapsed from exhaustion and an over extension of his powers soon after it had started. In the sunlight his silver eyes searched in vain - there was no sign of Ampere left. No fresh blood to say that he had harmed her and Lucius was quick to confirm.
She was gone.
Her shout about how it hadn’t been luck had him shaking his head. Of course it had been. “Luck and your mate’s ability to anger… it.” Every time he thought or commented on Gaucho’s place in her life it was another wound but he welcomed the pain now. At least she’d have him. Lucius had told him how thoroughly the Sultan had commanded the warg’s attention - even with the ability to teleport it had only sought out the stallion that had thrown flames toward it. What jealousy existed in him towards Gaucho could not be held onto any longer. There was no future where Ampere would be better off with the monster that Mesec had become instead of the one she had started a family with.
He was weak and he thought he could see it - see how strong Gaucho and Ampere would be together - and he was so glad for it no matter how much it hurt.
His knees buckled as she claimed he was part of her family too - a staggering step taken to keep himself upright. The exhaustion was wearing on him - Lucius helpfully pointed out that even if Mesec was to run right now, he wouldn’t get very far. Adrenaline had only helped so much but there was little left for the demigod to run on now. All that seemed to be left was sadness in him, all the light had been used up and burnt away.
“HOW can you fix me, Ampere? It’s too much this time.” To reach out and touch her now was incredibly selfish but he couldn’t help it. He took a step closer to her, prepared with every tiny movement for her to recoil from him but refusing to hesitate. If this was going to be the last time he saw her, the last time he touched her, he wouldn’t let his insecurities get in the way. His voice was heavy but hollow, the sadness was rooted far too deeply this time. His silver muzzle sought her cheek if she let him, where the tracks of her tears were. “I don’t belong in your family or your herd.” He had been so close. So close to actually believing that he belonged in both. Megaera had helped that along and even now he thought of the friends he had made there - of Ranjiri, Cera, Ilios, Najya, Aithniel, Zero, Morrigan...
But though light cannot exist without the dark they did not belong together. He had been born to be the darkness, no matter how much he fought that nature. “I need to leave. It’s the best thing I can do for everyone now.” He was pleading with her now, begging her to understand that this was what he had to do, hating that even now he was able to find hope. He did not want to leave, he just couldn’t see another solution. He could not lurk in the wilds of Helovia, ignoring everyone and waiting for the next thing to trigger the painful shift avoiding everyone. “But especially for you.”
The weight of this goodbye was sparking a battle that Mesec feared he’d face for the rest of his life - fighting to keep his emotions in check and losing.
Lucius noticed the signs first - bursting from Mesec’s back to hurl himself at Ampere, to get her away as Mesec collapsed.
--
It was daytime when Mesec woke up. The shift had not lasted long - he had collapsed from exhaustion and an over extension of his powers soon after it had started. In the sunlight his silver eyes searched in vain - there was no sign of Ampere left. No fresh blood to say that he had harmed her and Lucius was quick to confirm.
She was gone.
while the rain water washes away who you are
we'll go over the mountains and under the stars
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