we heal with love,

She had thought the steps bringing her into the Veins would feel heavier than they did - she thought that it would be hard to admit defeat - but although she carried guilt for failing, it did not weigh her down. Alysanne knew now that her quest had been doomed right from the start, had wondered whether the Goddess had been wise enough to assign her tasks that she could not complete.  

Not much was blooming at this time of year but Alysanne knew where to look as she travelled south. As she carefully navigated through the veins towards the broken shrines, Hemlock has a handful of brilliant white snowdrops in his small talons. At her encouragement he carefully places them among the blackened symbols of the Moon Goddess’ shrine before flying to land on her folded wings. Maybe she would have been able to make contact through the mists of the seer back in the Edge but this was private and she was still learning to trust the new faces of the Edge. She had only told Iona of her intentions, believing her twin would have come with her otherwise.

So much had changed since the last time she had spoken with the Moon Goddess. She had conceived and birthed a daughter, abandoned her herd as they abandoned the Edge for the Falls in a foolish war, found her sister again. Though she remained in the Edge, ever the faithful Moon Doctor, Alysanne was undeniably different than the mare who had started this quest. Whether she was weaker or stronger now that she was no longer that flower-child, well, that was just another line on the growing list of things she did not know.

Dawn was just beginning as Alysanne lowers her head, the glass headband Kahlua made her jingling softly with the movement, and she closed her eyes in prayer. “You were right, my Goddess.” She still remembered how angry the Goddess had been with her when she had made her request for the magic. It had seemed so perfect, the ideal way to help those that couldn’t be helped with the healing mists she had as her herd’s doctor. But she knew better now. The price she had been asked to pay was too steep. She had hurt others intentionally in her spars and had refused healing herself afterwards but she would never refuse to heal them. It wasn’t possible - not even once, not even for something as small as a nosebleed or a bruised shoulder.

She knew that she had been wrong to ask for that magic now, knew that there were better ways to heal those she loved.

“I have failed my quest.” She whispered the words softly to the shrine, sure that she would be heard no matter how quietly she spoke. Whether the Goddess appeared or simply accepted her resignation from this quest with her silence was something she’d have to wait and see.

alysanne