the Rift


Beneath the Bleeding Sky [Ashamin vs Seanan]

Ashamin the Clovenheart Posts: 426
Outcast atk: 8 | def: 11.5 | dam: 5.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.2 HH :: 5 [Frostfall] HP: 79 | Buff: NUMB
Lochan :: Plain Cerndyr :: Dark Mist & Rakt :: Common Cerndyr :: Starpast Jen
#4

ASHAMIN

Seanan approached fast and seemingly without mercy. Given the pain of a sped heart, however, which appeared to have struck, Ashamin couldn’t really blame the stallion. He didn’t have time to, either; Seanan was aided enough by speed that he could strike Ashamin before he had a second to move backwards. It was all he could do to throw his head up and tuck his injured leg further beneath his stomach before he needed to brace for impact.

The white stallion’s shoulder struck the tender flesh of Ashamin’s throat roughly, putting pressure on his windpipe and sending a shock through the ligaments in his neck. His beard, thinning out due to the season and still fairly new, did little to soften the blow. The painted buck choked out in response, mouth forced to open wide with a hacking cough that only worsened the bruise that was taking hold of his throat. He wanted to swallow, no, needed to in order to force down the pain, but found he was unable to with Seanan’s body still so close. He hopped back on his hind hooves and lifted the left leg that was still on the ground, only letting it fall again once he was satisfied that he had put enough (though what he perceived to be still very little) space between himself and Seanan’s unpredicted up close tactics.

Though the movement put him out of harm’s way, saving his left cannon bone from being cut as his right forearm had been, it also jostled his injured leg. The humming sparks emitted from it flared once more, producing a bright flash from under his barrel. Combined with the glowing marking on his chest, it seemed for a moment as if the Clovenheart was a being made purely of light.

This was not true, however, for light was blessed with in-corporeality. Ashamin was there, and real, and physical. He had mass and muscle, the sort that could be cut and bruised with blows. The Clovenheart had to say he was surprised that Seanan had made so many moves from up close, for he had suspected that the stallion would use speed and dart in and out. Then again, the trees served as a limitation that even Ashamin had encountered.

Perhaps, too, they could be used strategically. Lochan retreated into the shadows between the trees, watching carefully so that he could be better prepared to warn Ashamin of Seanan’s next attack. Meanwhile, Ashamin called on Rakt to summon his magic. Though the blood-colored cerndyr’s power was new, it had already proven to be quite useful. Ashamin stood carefully, still balanced on three legs, and tried to push the pain from his mind so he could focus on his next move. He had neither the time nor the energy to turn and look to see if Rakt had indeed succeeded, so he had to take a leap of faith.

Luckily for the Clovenheart, Rakt was just fueled enough with anger at this opponent, this cold white ghost of a stallion, to focus and produce two spirits formed of gold stardust. They ran forth, each one colliding with one of Ashamin’s hind legs before dissipating into the air around them and mixing with the puddles and rain.

The painted buck leaped forward, his movements quickened by Rakt’s boost to his speed. He kept his forelegs curled beneath him and moved to try and force himself against Seanan, hoping that he could make one of a few outcomes true.

The pain in his neck spread up to his jaw, so he did not snap his teeth as he might have otherwise. Rather he angled his left shoulder forward, mirroring Seanan’s move but aiming instead for the white stallion’s chest. To aim higher would be foolish, for even with Rakt’s boosted speed (which Ashamin did not know for sure was there) he wasn’t able to spring off from the muddy earth with much traction, and Seanan had a height advantage. If Ashamin struck, he hoped to knock the wind out of Seanan’s lungs (which were likely already struggling after feeling the effects of Ashamin’s magic.) Making contact could also allow Ashamin to brace himself against Seanan for a moment rather than having to risk bringing down his injured leg and putting weight on it. Even if he missed, Ashamin hoped that his quick move forward might startle Seanan and force him backwards into the same tree that Ashamin had been forced to avoid earlier—the same tree that had resulted in the electrified cuts on his right fore.

For a moment as air rushed about him and rain slammed against his face, Ashamin wasn’t sure who he was more irritated with: Seanan or the woods around them.

""



The Clovenheart
Image Credits


PC: 2/3
WC: 789/800
Magic used:
Rakt » Starpast: Can conjure 2 small ethereal figures of the past that can charge itself and it's bond-mate, giving energy to move slightly faster temporarily

Teaching Notes
-Directionals: I still didn't know which way Seanan was moving. Though he threw his shoulder at Ashamin's face, I don't know if he used his left or right shoulder and if he was angling from either direction.
+Damage: I think you did a good job with damage by not taking too much or too little and describing it well. You also clearly researched the effects that this magic might have (or knew something about it already) which is smart, because it means your post was able to be well informed which is something judges always love to see. Keep up the good work! You didn't take the dark mists into account I know in part because you were confused by them, but you also didn't need to given the low roll and the fact that the situation provided by Ashamin's magic already afforded you the opportunity to take damage.
+Inner Thought: Great improvement here, I felt like this post included more of Seanan's opinions while staying true to the aspect of his character that isn't overly emotional (like some Ashamins I know :P.) His interiority was present throughout and really livened up the read, particularly when he was thinking about his past experiences with burst hearts and his overall opinion about magic.
-Attack Description: I felt sort of lost here, in part because of the lack of directionals but also because some of the descriptions for your attack seemed too brief to cover the topic. For example, you say that he thrusts his shoulder forward to close the distance and then brings down his hooves to strike, but I wasn't even aware of them being up in the first place. This makes me wonder if Seanan was rearing, which I hadn't thought of before. Since Seanan is taller than Ashamin he wouldn't need to pull himself up very much to shove his shoulder forward, so he might not necessarily have his hooves high enough off the ground (at least not how I envision it now.) But with a bit more description this would become more clear and as a result I could have an easier time writing my response, and the judges will thank you for your clarity. Another thing is be careful to always use words like try and attempt--though Seanan "attempted" to close the gap, when you write about him bringing his hooves down to strike the cannon bone you wrote about it as if it was something that definitely happened, which verges on powerplay and could be easily fixed with some extra language.
~If you aren't sure: Next time just ask! If something is unclear about my post then that's my fault, and you shouldn't have to suffer for it. If judges agree I was unclear I will lose points, but if they don't and your response doesn't make sense to them you could stand to lose points too! I'm always available on skype to chat about well, anything, but in this case feel free to ask me about the magic I used.
~Details of your opponent: Sometimes a quick read over the opponent's profile can teach you a lot, so keep this in mind! Ashamin's passive magic, for example, slowly heals him. When he gets cut, electricity bursts from any broken bones, muscle, or skin, which is something Seanan would likely notice and respond to.


See Ashamin's profile for more information about Lochan, Rakt, and his various items.
All magic and force allowed, barring death and permanent injury.
Do not tag me, please message on skype instead



Messages In This Thread
RE: Beneath the Bleeding Sky [Ashamin vs Seanan] - by Ashamin - 07-26-2016, 04:16 PM

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