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09-25-2016, 12:52 AM
AMANI
I have to admit, I am stunned when my lie passes him by without a word. This, this is not like the Cera I know and love. Have I really hurt him so deeply that he simply does not care for me at all anymore? Is that how I am getting this pass to lie to the one I have looked up to, cared and even loved all of my life? Am I really that, unlovable? My mind begins to race with thoughts of fleeing, even as heavily pregnant as I am. Would I be able to lift myself high enough to make it over the waters that now made my home an island? If I could, where would I go? Could I flee and start fresh? Just my unborn child and I... Away from all those who surely hate me for coming and going the way I have. Call myself by another name and simply disappear from everyone I have ever let down.
The words come up in a rush. My mind hadn't even full processed what I was saying before I was already saying it. After I have spoken, I stand there in a state of shock. Tears freely flowing down my reddish-brown cheeks. "I would never take advantage of you like that," Deep down I know it. To be honest Hector and I took advantage of each other. He for a fling, and I.... The temporary feeling of being loved and cared for. As I step back, Cera steps forward as if we were in some kind of a strange dance. "I...Amani..." I continue to step backward. Only he can stop me, but even I am unsure how. I am shaking now, as all my emotions that I have been hiding and bottling up for years slam into me full force. My grief for my parents, for Gaucho. The feelings of being unwanted in the Throat. Everything. "I wish you had told me earlier," I can not bare to look at him. His voice... "I don't know how I would have responded. I know I loved you, but I'm not sure if it was romantic...I only ever wanted to keep you safe and happy, Amani." The words slip from my mouth, soft and quiet as ever. "I was scared that if I did, and you didn't... That I would lose you too.."
I dropped my head and stopped retreating. Here I am, pouring my heart out to one who... I don't even know if he loves me as a friend anymore... In my silence, he speaks. "I...I cannot say how I feel for you. For anyone, anymore. I always saw you as a little sister or a child to protect all these years...it would have been inappropriate to think of you in that way." Once again, I know he is right. I have always been three years younger than he is. I have always been the child, the little sister, the one who needed to be sheltered and protected from the cruel world. Cera... he had always been my golden knight. The one who I thought... It doesn't even matter anymore what I thought.... Because he's not. No one is. In the end I will always be that stupid little girl that no one wants. "I'm sorry" My front legs begin to shake, unable to keep holding my trembling frame any longer. They buckle first, followed by my hind legs as my frame hits the sand. The foal kicks at my belly in anger at this. It's the first time I've felt a kick... Or any movement really. I should be rejoicing. Instead i'm laying in the sand a blubbering mess....
"their speech goes here and this is the color
@Cera
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Permission granted to use magic or physical force with Amani at any time for any reason to any degree, with the exception of killing her.
