I CAN'T SEE BEHIND YOUR EYES
BUT I'M SURE THAT THERE'S A STORM
Of course he's been hurting but he never blamed December for Meria's disappearance. In an almost predictable fashion, he blames himself - his own lack of vigilance, his own shortcomings resurfacing once more. It has happened to him before - Nathanael, Barakiel, Naerys. He's failed every single one of them and Merialeth is just the fourth casualty. Maybe he should have stopped. Maybe he should stop pretending he can do it better the next time. But Miykael is more optimistic than he'd ever be likely to admit. He genuinely believes that he can change, that he can do better. Perhaps this time, his sheer determination would be enough.
His embrace rather easily calms the grey lady, though that's hardly surprising. She automatically presses her face into the crook of his neck, her warm tears moistening his golden fur in two small splotches. His hold on her doesn't loosen until her breathing calms and the flow of tears slows. Miykael doesn't take notice of the slight shift in her position until her feels her lips and teeth caressing the tender dip between the base of his neck and the curve of his shoulder. December's warm, soft lips so easily ignite a warmth in him, even now and in these circumstances, that he hardly even notices the cold anymore. Instinctively his lips lazily stroke and caress her shoulders, his breath warm against her flesh. Yet he remains calm and contained. He isn't a boy anymore, it takes more than a few touches to get him aroused and seeking release. When she speaks once more, he swivels his ears to focus on her voice. What December says makes him smile, with but one exception. It is that one exception that sticks out in his mind first - a wrong to be made right. "It was never my intention to worry you, my love. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you and I'm sorry for hurting you. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do." Miykael pauses for a mere moment, lowering his lips once more to place a tender kiss on her upper back. "I promise." he finally declares, his deep voice is gentle and warm.
As the grey lady pulls back to gaze at him, the rest of her speech returns to the forefront of his thoughts. Did he want more children? He'd already failed four and yet there's an ever-present pull or desire for more. Miykael has always loved being a father and he has yet to turn down the opportunity to be a better one. A small smile curves his lips at the thought of having more babies with December. But just as he was about to speak, December bursts out crying again. Her cries are harder and more intense this time, more whole-bodied - fully encompassing her large form. Miykael stands firm as she presses into him, clinging to him in desperation of her complete and utter despair. Unfurling his rather impressively large white wings, he shifts them forward in an attempt to more fully embrace her sorrow riddled form. The golden angel simply holds her close, watching silently as the pent up emotions of a year come pouring from her body. His wings pull back when she suddenly lifts her head and gasps for air.
Blue eyes watch her intently, carefully determining her next move. As the air once more fills her lungs, she shifts her position to press herself into his side. The wing on her chosen side instinctively raises to allow her to move as close to him as she can then the large feathered appendage drapes over her back. Miykael's feathers are soft yet sturdy, sheltering the grey lady. Soon, she calms down once more but what she says next only serves to leave him confused. "Both of them?" he asks gently, turning his head to play lightly with her forelock. "You did not fail Meria." he states in a rather matter-of-fact type of tone. "You deserve another chance, my love, a chance to prove to yourself that you are a great mother. Sitting around waiting for Meria to somehow come back isn't doing any good at all. We're... stuck." He concludes, cuddling her sweetly beneath his wing. Perhaps what they need is another child to dote on. Perhaps that is what it would take for them to move forward once again. He isn't trying to replace Meria because, honestly, none could ever replace her and he certainly isn't trying to forget her or stop looking for her but he's at a loss here. How else can they escape this well they've fallen into?
HIT ME WITH SOME LIGHTNING
SO I CAN FEEL SOMETHING OTHER THAN NUMB |
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