Reichenbach
Realism [+2]
You have a good mind for proper attack and injury, but you could benefit from more detail and explanation. For instance, it was difficult for me to understand how he’d grab Pippigrin out of the air, given that Pippigrin was swooping in for an attack so would have been moving very quickly, a dangerous place to stick your face. The additional detail could be used with describing surroundings and how they affect you, as well as the breed/stat differences between you and your opponent - especially given their massive differences. You gave a nod or two here and there, but nothing substantial so I was always left wanting more and it was difficult to fully visualize the pair of them dueling due to this lack of detail.


Emotion [+1]
Overall I didn’t feel a strong connection with Reichenbach during the fight. You would skim over his emotions, and mentioned how he’s quick to anger, but I never really felt it from him. Your posts focused mainly on action, and I would have liked more explanation for his reactions to the action and the motive for them!


Prose [+2]
Your posts were very easy to read and had excellent flow! A wider vocabulary and more time spent on imagery would help make this even more excellent.


Readability [+2.5]
Overall your posts were very understandable and lacking errors, though I did find this table hard to read due to text size and the thin font.

P2:
“...of Pippins horns…” (Pippin’s)
“...tunnelled into the flesh....” (tunneled)

P3:
“...little hobbits short shoulder…” (hobbit’s)


Finally tally: 38.5+(7.5*2)= 53.5 HP


Pippigrin
Realism [+1]
I liked your attacks and you followed the damage rolls well, though some of your injuries could use more description to put detail to the pain being felt. For instance I was initially confused by how your rump was lifted up by a bite in the first post, and in your third post aside from being knocked to the ground I couldn’t tell what had been injured that was causing the blood and pain you were referring to. Your defenses could use greater explanation as well, because I didn’t fully get how Pippigrin wasn’t pulled out of the sky by Reichenbach, especially since his bit did get you - I didn’t imagine he could pull you out anyway given your momentum, but if he grazed off your neck that probably would have caused you to tumble, especially given you’d be so close to the ground in order to have hit him mid-air anyway. More explanation to breed and surroundings would also help bring this more to life! I especially expected this given how small Pippigrin is, but it seemed like it was barely mentioned. I really liked how you incorporated your rank magic though.

There were a few instances where you had mild powerplay and timing that was off.
P2:
“...his teeth clenching and feathers splaying over the sweaty hide of his opponent.” (PP, Reich never mentioned this in his prior post)
“Another wingbeat and each feather had drummed upon the traitors sheer skin, his horns bruising his nearside soulder and sending him off his feet.” (PP, Reich never mentioned feathers on him or being off his feet)

P3:
“..the hobbit flayed his wings once more against the flesh of his attacker…” (PP, Reich gets to decide if you wings touch him or not)
“ Flaring his wings outwards in an attempt to halt himself, allowing the bay brute to pass him by, Pippin was caught off-guard by the splitting pain in his loins.” (Timing, you moved in on Reich in your last post to bite him and he took your bite and wrote as quickly turning around to assault you with his hooves. However you write this as if they pass by each other and you’ve the time to use your amulet, even mentioning standing and contemplating in another line before reacting to Reichenbach’s attack, which reads very slow and out of place compared to the timing Reichenbach set up in his prior post.)


Emotion [+2]
I really enjoyed Pippigrin’s upset response to this whole fight, being confused about their friendship and the start of the fight. I could definitely have used more feelings though, as this was strongest in your first and third post only, and for the most part was still overshadowed by action.


Prose [+2]
I really enjoyed your wide vocabulary and some of the great imagery you set. At times however your flow was a bit choppy.


Readability [+2]
A lot of these mistakes were minor, but heavily detracted from the posts due to the sheer amount of them.

P1:
“...gem-like sand specks and orphic, watercolour sky.” (not sure what orphic is, it just says ‘relating to orpheus’ on Google so I’m not sure how that fits).
“Pippin, though; he dreamed in colour.” (Pippin though, he dreamed in colour. Semi-colon doesn’t work with that sentence.)

P2:
“The sucess of his...” (success)
“Take that! was…” (should put the Tale that! In quotes to support the fact it’s a thought and the was being lowercase.)
“...kept all noice to…” (noise)
“...generally the halfling kept all noice to a complete minimum for now and prove his actions could be mightier than words.” (this reads weird)
“Another wingbeat and…” (wing beat or wing-beat)
“...upon the traitors sheer skin…” (traitor’s)
“...his nearside soulder and…” (near side)
“...his nearside soulder and…” (shoulder)
“...his horns bruising his nearside soulder and sending him off his feet.” (losing track of who is what with all the his/hims, use names!)
“...it was at contender.” (a)
“...a great whince…” (wince)
“He's be sure to seek out…” (he’d)
“...possessed fr fear…” (for)
“His own gaze of silver and stone sweeping over his rival, Pippigrin noted quickly…” (tense change)
“Being less than half the size of his opponent's came…” (opponents)
“Now reaching up wich his own…” (with)
“...one of the weakest place on his…” (places)


Finally tally: 31+(7*2)= 45 HP