"Please don't say that you aren't strong enough."

"Alright." Ktulu answered. "But not saying it doesn't make it untrue." Apollo could stand there and tell her everyday for years that she was strong, but it wouldn't stop Ktulu from thinking and knowing that it was weakness that drove her from the Foothills. Her inability to control the way the Grey shifted and changed into something unexpected, the way it broke the relationship she'd had with her sister... that was weakness. She thought that Apollo romanticized the way she had run from her failure with her tail between her legs as 'following her heart'. She would never be able to see herself the way that he saw her. She would forever see herself as the buck-kneed little filly who had dreams far larger than she could ever hope to grasp. What had she really accomplished in her life that made her notable or worthy of being viewed the way she was?

What had she done?

"You are far to kind, Apollo." Ktulu murmured, her expression softening as she gazed at the painted stallion. "But I didn't follow my heart... I ran away. The only thing I yearned for was to be free of the responsibility I took on when the Grey started. The first step to being free was finding someone to take on my responsibility." And that was where Apollo had come in, but she had not spent enough time to teach him the little bit that she had learned about being a leader. She had been too consumed with her own desire to be free of the herd that she ran when she had the first opportunity. "I chose you because you cared enough to look for me after Ophelia left out of concern for the herd. I apologize for throwing you to the wolves and running away."

Still, she was told not to apologize and she began to wonder if Apollo would fault her for anything. She extended her own muzzle toward Apollo's and bumped it gently against his, sighing and wondering if he realized how much she cared about him despite using him as an out. Ktulu had had faith in him, though, that he would be an excellent leader because he was everything she was not. Compassionate, trusting, gentle, and she could go on listing his qualities, but their conversation shifted back to Eytan with Apollo's mention of him.

"I send him a lot." She admitted. "So I can know that you and Lakota are okay." He would never know how her heart fractured and broke every time she would see the images he sent her of Apollo and Lakota. She would never admit that it was in those moments when she was seeing them in her mind and feeling them in her heart that she just wanted to be with them, or how often she felt close to tears.

"Ktulu, if I could ask, um... What's it like? Being... Bonded, with Eytan?"

It wasn't that strange of a question, but given the seriousness of their conversation up until that point it seemed out of place. "Eytan is.." She trailed off and looked in the direction of the bear who was still hidden in the growing shadows. "He is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to me." Ktulu had never had to explain what it was like to be bonded before, so she paused to choose her words. "I always feel him with me even when I'm here and he's with you. In my mind, in my soul. When he's away for too long I feel like part of myself is missing. Its like being away from someone you love so deeply that you feel like ... like they're your other half." She looked at Apollo then and gave a half smile. "I see what he sees. He sends me these mental images of you whenever he's with you. He does the same when he sees Lakota." Because he knew how much she cared about them. "I feel everything he feels. Pain, sadness, anger... pleasure." That one had been very awkward, but he was a growing bear with growing urges.