"Where brilliance is good and madness is better..."
Helovia Info
Helovia opened in February 2012! We are an active fantasy equine RPG
Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.
Site Wide Plots
Kaos :: The Beginning of the End ☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.
Kisamoa :: A New Kind of Kaos ☼ - 3/2017 - Kisamoa asks Helovians to help him restore the Spectral Marsh. Which side will you choose?
Invasions :: All Out War ☼ - 5/2/16 - New layout and the brand new invasion rules are up! Thank you for your patience and we look forward to getting started with this new adventure.
The Rift :: Gods Do Die ☼ - 8/2015 - Helovia Gods are saving the Rift from corrupt gods! Can Helovians band together against these foreign deities?
The Literal Ship ☼ - 2/8/15 - Oh no! You have to pair up for Valentine's day!
Sky Island :: Murder ☼ - 10/25/14 - Vesta has been found dead on the island, and the gods have called to you to solve the murder!
Sky Island :: Peace ☼ - 7/7/14 - An island has appeared in the sky! Clouds carry Helovians from the Veins to the sky.
Restoration :: We Welcome the Dawn ☼ - 9/21/13 - The sun has finally risen on this day, giving the land new light, but the Time God and the Sun God have yet to be seen.
Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot ☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.
☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.
Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot ☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.
Doppleganger Plot ☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.
ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.
Cotm
Character of the Month for
June, 2017
WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!
Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.
You keep moving, hoofstep after hoofstep taking you back towards the sanctuary, back towards your escape. Because you want to leave this all behind. Yes, you won, you proved your dominance, showed them why you deserve to be general but... does it really matter? You grunt as you limp along, your injured forelimb still burning on fire from the repeated assaults. You need drugs. Each step, the word echoes in your mind, pulsing out a rhythm, frustrating you to know end. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. It's like a chant, and you take it up, your mind begging for them, but you don't have them anymore. You want them, you need them, but need doesn't matter. The universe doesn't care about needs, or wants. The universe cares about itself. She is a cruel mistress.
You retreat down the opening of the cave, wincing terribly as you slip and slide on the stony surface. Your metal horseshoes don't make it easy, and with your front forelimb injured you look about as awkward as anyone could. All around, when you make your way in, you see horses. Horses to your left, horses to your right. Horses above you and below you, cramped up against one another, unnaturally close. You see the glass herb box you were banned from stepping near, you see the pain healing herbs in the glass basket you nearly shattered, but you are not allowed there, not allowed to take them, so you pass them by, the eerie glow of the magma making everything dance and swirl, adding onto the effects caused by your mind.
And through the pain, though you sweat and breathe so heavily, you keeping moving, keep trotting, keep running. You're running from Elsa, from the cramped conditions of the Sanctuary, from your past and your present and your future. You're running because you need to escape, because you can't stand all the memories that resurface and plague you, that poke at the most sensitive parts of your mind. You need reprieve, you need rest, but you know you'll never find it here. You keep going, forever, it seems like, until you find blackness. An escape.
The darkness here is oppressive, the only light the far-away twinkling from some above-ground surface. You're standing on sand. You sink into and it supports your leg, giving the injured one rest. But here the blackness, you find that your only friend is your memories. Even your boggart has secluded herself from you, seemingly understanding that you need this time to yourself. But perhaps time to yourself is not the best. Images of Kellian come back, floating before you, taunting you, teasing you, making your heartbreak for the too-many-th time today. You press your horns against the stony wall and take a heavy sigh. Something has got to give. You don't think you can survive much longer with your mind so functional.
He left so quickly. Elsa couldn’t understand why he wanted out so fast. He just… left. Sure she had lost, but that wasn’t the point right now. Her loss was expected, she was fighting the most seasoned soldier she had ever met! She stood in stunned silence amidst the rocks, watching him go. She couldn’t decide whether or not she should follow. Inner conflict consumed her mind. On one hand, she understood personal space, but on the other, she needed to know why he wanted out. He didn’t seem like the type that would up and leave. Her wings fluttered nervously against her white sides. That seemed to be the only way she could think these days. It reminded her of home, of how her mother used to smother her body with gray, soft feathers. She would sing to her gently the most melodious lullabies, and help her talk through any problems. Her mom wasn’t here anymore, so she had to learn to survive on her own.
She watched as his hulking body moved out of sight. She whined a little, and stamped an indignant hoof. She may regret this later, but she couldn’t let it end like that. She picked up a swift pace, keeping as quite as she could. She moved along the hard ground, trying to minimize the thuds of her hooves. He could probably hear her, but hopefully he wasn’t on attack mode. She just wanted to make sure he was okay.
She stopped a few yard away from the cave entrance. The darkness around the heart was evident, and by now it was completely consumed. He slipped down the stony surface, and she gave him a few moments before following behind. Her hooves easily gliding down the rocky surface, although her shoulder injury protested greatly. She winced a little as she landed, stopping a moment to give the injury a break. She watched as he moved through the crowd, it seemed as if he was running from something. Elsa couldn’t help but feel her heart break, what had she done? Had she injured him that bad? Had she said something? Her mind churned to replay the fight as best she could in her head. She couldn’t recall an instance in which she would’ve done such a thing. That was it though, she could never be sure if she was the problem. If she had been able to tell that… well she wouldn’t be here.
He was moving so fast! In such a crowded room she did best to avoid the other bodies, hoping the limit the number of casualties she might cause herself later for bumping into cranky old men. Stalking was so much work, she remembered why she was never a spy, talking was much more her type of thing. He took a path, and it led into a dark room. She slowed, and watched him get consumed by the darkness. She tentatively took a few steps forward, and moved into the room.
She encountered a tiny drop, and suddenly, was greeted with soft sand. It was so hard to see. Her eyes searched and searched, but to no avail, she could not see more than a step in front of her. Carefully, she swooshed across the sand. She didn’t know where she was in reference to anything. Quietly, she called out. "Oxy!" She whispered. "Oxy where'd you go?" her voice was a little shaky. Worried about what would arise from such a situation. She was generally feeling for him though. She just wanted to help. All she wanted to do was help, maybe it was her downfall, or maybe it was her only perk. She had yet to discover who she should become.
[ooc;// uhm. muse boom. o.o sorry about the quick reply. :3]
"Talking"
You're so caught up in your own problems, drowning in history, being buried alive with every single memory of Kellian that you can conjure, that you never even notice Elsa following you. She could have been an elephant, a marching band, a jet engine plane and you would not have heard her. You only hear that constant chant- Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. But it's stopped with you, and whatever little bit of sanity that chant offered you, however many of your memories it held at bay, it's all gone. They come flooding back, washing over you, wrenching your heart and throwing it on the ground, stomping on it and shredding it to pieces. This is why you need your drugs. This is why you have to have them. At first it was a habit, something you couldn't break, something you never meant to start doing but it happened anyway. Now? It's your lifeline, your anchor in reality and sanity. Without them you are a broken man. Nothing but a shadow. No wonder you blend into the darkness so well.
As soon as your head is against the wall, more memories begin piling up on you, images you never wanted to see again, because they bring up so much pain. Days of you and Kellian lost in the forest, talking, training, doing whatever, with no cares in the world. Those nights on the plain, taking turns watching over the herd, keeping them safe. Those trips to the ocean to watch the waves crash against the shore. Trips to the marsh to get your plants... You shudder. Did you actually love her, or is everything amplified because you were forced away from home? You think that's the worst part- not knowing.
You might have loved her, you think, as you stand here now, head pressed against the wall, that you did love her, that she was your one and only, your beloved, your heart and soul. But if she was your one and only... why did you want to kill her? Why did you try so hard to smash Elsa to bits and pieces, for the crime of just looking like Kellian? Maybe you didn't love her. Do you kill someone you love because they left you for another man? Did she even really leave you? Or did they coerce her into acting like she was with the captain of the guard? Was it all an act because they wanted you out? Did it break her heart as much as it broke yours? But why wouldn't she just stand up for you, or be banished with you? Did they threaten her with worse? Death, family? But wouldn't they have just killed you if they wanted you gone so bad?
Fiction and reality begin to blend, morph, become one in your mind, making new stories from old ones, combining truth with falsities, making you question your own existence. It's too much, so much that you're ready to scream, to bellow, to fall to the ground and lay there and beg for your heart to stop, for death to come take you away. But you don't get so far. Someone else has joined you. Oxy. That's you. Right? Sometimes it's hard to remember.
“What do you want?” The words are a nearly incoherent slur, your low voice practically whining and you consider smashing your skull into the rocks in front of you, just because you think it might be more fun than you're having right now. And then you just moan, not from the physical pain but from the mental pain. Are you turning out to be just like the rest of them? So confused and wrapped up in yourself, in your false reality, that you don't know real from fake? Is this how your days end? You shake your head from side to side, appreciating the way your horns screech against the rock, trying to drive Kellian's smiling face out of your head. It doesn't seem to help.
@[Elsa]- Don't be sorry for fast replies, lol! Besides, I'm really enjoying threading with you and Elsa!
As she waits for him to reply she’s groping in the darkness. Her feet shuffle carefully below her as she tries to move towards a wall. She’s careful to move slowly, avoiding accidentally running into Oxy or any others who happen to be here. The sand is cool underfoot, and for the first time in a long while, she longed for the heat of the sand in the sun. She remembered the little sandy nook that existed just beyond the forest of her kingdom. Ana and herself used to go there nearly every day. They would race across the sand, finding out who was faster and stronger in the sand. Elsa won every time, but occasionally she would slow and let Ana win, her younger body just couldn’t keep up with Elsa most of the time. Elsa wondered how her sister was doing. By now she was just coming of age. Elsa wondered if she had a young foal on the way by now, or if she was even paired.
Lost in thoughts, and ignoring the darkness in front of her, she hit a wall shoulder first. She winced, but moved along so her wing was just gently scraping across the rough surface. She heard a reply come from Oxy, but it wasn’t his normal, slightly sassy self. Worried, she tried to move toward him. With the way this place was built, she worried that maybe she was moving in the completely opposite direction of where she needed to be moving.
A few more moments passed as she walked forward, and in the darkness, she met a faint outline. She couldn’t tell who it was, but she didn’t move any closer. She nickered softly, hoping it was Oxy. If not, well, this would just be a little awkward. "Why did you leave so quickly? I was worried something was wrong." She said calmly. Her voice was oddly smooth, not her normal voice. She was genuinely afraid of making Oxy hate her. He was practically the only one she saw on a semi-regular basis. Other than that, everyone was just an acquaintance. In Helovia, Oxy was the closest thing to a friend she could have. If she broke that, well, she'd just be alone again. She could survive, but she'd rather not revert back to square one.
She stood awaiting his reply, her wing against the cold rock. In quiet pain she reached out, as if wanting to offer a comforting touch, but quickly pulled her head back in. From what she knew, Oxy was not someone that would appreciate. So there she stood, letting him decide if he wanted her to stay, if not, she'd be out in a flash. She would disappear and leave him be.
You moan out and then.... nothing but silence. She says nothing, no words, no nicker, no sound of attention or approval. Or is it just you, frozen in time? No, she's moving, you hear the rustle of featehrs against the stony wall, the apposition of gentle down and heartless stone lost on your reeling mind. Feathers, feathers, Kellian's feathers touching your side, beating against you as you push her to the side in playful jest, beating against the air as she flies ahead in a race you would never win. Feathers. Feathers. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. It's not working. Nothing's working.
But then eternity ends, she makes a sound. A nicker and you moan some more in response. She's so close- too close. Shouldn't she be up top, bleeding? Shouldn't she be somewhere else, getting medical attention? Why is she here, why is she following you? You shift your weight, forgetting that your left forelimb is rather injured and you wince in pain, grunting aloud, likely letting Elsa know that it is in fact you that she is close to. Why did you leave so quickly?
Why did you leave? Why did you LEAVE!?!? You turn in the darkness, not really seeing her, but knowing she is close by and you bellow, scream, explode. “WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? WHY DID YOU LET THEM EXILE ME?” And you're shouting, whinnying, a terrible screaming noise that leaves you gasping for breath when you're done. Your blood boils and your brain lost in memories, because in that moment, once again, Elsa was Kellian and you are lost to the night. To the blackness, until your little boggart comes out of nowhere, becoming a little sun in the darkness, just the briefest of flashes, not able to hold onto the image because of your intense emotions, but it is enough. And through the painful moment of light, you see Elsa's face. She's no Kellian. She never will be.
You thought this was over, the shaking and sweating from the detox, you thought you had managed to beat the physical portion of your addiction, but it seems like it's all back now. You're sweating, shaking, and you push back Elsa, moving back to where there is a little bit of light, at least so that if she follows you can see her. It's not much, just the faintest twinkle from the sun above, but it should be enough. Seeing her face helps. Because her body is the same, but her face is different. It's not the same. The lines, the eyes. There was a different type of soul in Kellian's eyes. The eyes. You've got to watch them.
But if she follows or not, you can't stand it all anymore, and you collapse in a heap on the ground, breathing heavily, rolling to lay on your side, and then, in a move so uncharacteristically like you, you break down. “I don't even know what happened,” you begin, your words beginning in the middle of some story that Elsa will have to figure out on your own. This is as close to communicating as you get. “She was there... and the captain... and she didn't even look... and I never got to see her again.” And you sigh, closing your eyes, letting your head sink down into the sand. You're not worried about Elsa anymore. How can she break worse than she already has? And without even trying... Let her come.
@[Elsa]- Woot! Test over, back in action! Sorry for the delay :D
02-11-2014, 09:01 AM (This post was last modified: 02-11-2014, 09:06 AM by Elsa.)
The moment the words tumbled out of her mouth, she wished she hadn’t said a word.
The outline shifts, and at that moment, she knew it was Oxy. Words flew from his mouth, pained and terrible. She cringed a little, taking a quick step back, her head tucked in and ears back. Elsa wished she could help, but something was a lot worse than she expected. A snort escaped her nose at her sudden pull backwards. As quickly as the words had come, they died. In the flurry of activity, his boggart, flashed. His eyes and face momentarily were revealed, and she was for the first moment afraid of being in his presence.
But she would not run; not this time. Last time she had run from any emotions, it didn’t go well. She was chased and exiled, leaving her sister in her disastrous wake. She blinked, once, twice, thrice, trying to get a hold of the situation. His body suddenly moved again. The shifting of the sand signaled his movement. Nearly stumbling over herself many times, she tried to keep up with his gait.
A dim light allowed for more light. She could not make out his shape and color, and the horns that protruded from his head. She moved to face him again, her eyes searching to try and connect with his. Honestly, she just wished she didn’t have to see him like this. Her heart broke just hearing his voice, from the short story he gave; there was a girl involved. If there was one thing Elsa learned about relationships was that they only ended in tragedy. Silence consumed the spaces between his words and hers. She tried to find words, and it took her a long while to find them. Sensitivity was something she lacked, and that's why she struggled with this. Not knowing anymore background or anything, she had no idea what to do. She reached her muzzle out, carefully, gently, towards Oxy, not daring touch him, but letting him know. Elsa was there for him, and she could relate on a smaller scale. She, although was not ignored by her sister, left her to fend for herself in a kingdom. Elsa had been the selfish one.
"Oxy, I'm sorry." Her words tumbled out fragmented and broken. Still grasping at words that were in her head, and trying to put it together in some semblance to make it at least somewhat eloquent. More time passed, and she cast her glance downwards. He could've left her, and she could be talking to air. Elsa didn't even notice as his head moved to the sand, or the fact that he was entirely on the ground. She was so focused on her words she was oblivious to everything. She drew in a deep, loud breath again and continued. "... And I know that doesn't fix anything. But I really am sorry. I'm sorry you didn't have the chance to say bye. I'm sorry you were hurt. I'm sorry that life just sucks." She frowned, deep lines forming at the corners of her mouth. It was quite ironic, here she was preaching about how others make life shit. Yet, she was the one that hurt everyone else. The problem was her. It was things like herself that hurt horses like Oxy. "And dammit Oxy..." She stomped her hoof, sending sand flying in all directions. "I'm sorry there are horses like me that exist, and we're too stupid to realize we're not meant for good things. All we leave in our wake is destruction." Anger rose in her throat, choking her words. The thing was, she didn't even want this to turn into her own personal rant session. Heck, she didn't even know if the girl he was speaking of was the one that had hurt him. She just knew that she had hurt Ana in a way that could never be fixed. She sighed, angered, frustrated, sad, everything. Tears prickled at her eyes, but she wouldn't cry. Not in front of him, not in front of the one she needed to prove she was strong to. "I'm just..." her words were gone again, her voice was barely even a whisper. She tucked her head into her chest, breathing in deeply as if trying to remember the scent of home. It was gone though, gone with everything. "I understand." Her voice was barely audible. It only would've been heard if he was actually listening to her. Elsa understood what hurt felt like, how it stings like a bee, and yet sometimes you deserve it. Whether or not Oxy actually did deserve it was a mystery. The only thing she knew now was that she was a terrible being, and she deserved every second of hate and spite that was thrown at her. She looked up, to see him on the ground, so, exposed. All she could do was look and search, for something, for anything that signaled he didn't fully hate her for following.
@[Oxy]
[yay, hope it went well! haha so, sorry for the weirdness. i blame the flu. xD]
She reaches out toward you while you lie on the ground like a pig, an utter failure even though you claimed victory over her. She reaches out and you wonder what it is about you that makes her want you even though you are weak, nothing but a broken man. You hate yourself for being like this, for wallowing in the past, for needing your plants as bad as you need air and water and food. You hate yourself, so how can she even stand you? She must have something in her soul that you lack- forgiveness. Oxy, I'm sorry. You snort, but say nothing. Your mind is still flicking in and out of the past, though you're more focused in reality now. It's hard to stay there with the thrill of the fight and the blackness of the pit behind you. Perhaps it's better that way.
But something about her voice reaches deep into you, calming you, making your breaths slower, making the sand a warm blanket that reaches up around you and envelops you. And it makes you want to be mad, it makes you want to yell some more that you let yourself be calmed and hypnotized by this cremello pegasus that is so much like your past, but you can't. Try as you might, the anger does not come. Only peace washes over you as you hear her story. “Life does suck,” you murmur, but otherwise let her speak, let her voice fill the cavern, give the sandy darkness peace that your voice only ruins.
But what calmness her voice brings, her hoof ruins, spraying sand particles onto you, but they are nothing. Grunge has never bothered you before, it doesn't bother you now. And as she speaks, and you listen to her words and some of her story, you begin to remember what you realized before- you are not so grand as you make yourself out to be. You're weak, you require your plants, and without them you're nothing but a fraud. You can't even function without them. You are nothing, nothing at all, but a beast of a stallion that can't function without the mind-numbing effects of some stupid plant that you wish you'd never discovered.
And for once in your grumbling, hateful life, you find something good in yourself, not much, but it's enough. A few words for the winged mare who has broken you, for this moment. “You are meant for good things,” you say, quietly, a sigh, but nothing about her leaving destruction in her wake. That, you can't argue with.
The sight of him curled up on the ground broke her heart. His words breaking them anymore. If you had asked Elsa if she would ever see Oxy like this, she would've laughed. To her, his emotions were a tenable fortress. She thought it would've taken an entire army to knock them out.
Yet, here he was, right here on the ground. As his nice words slipped from his lips, she sighed, and decided she needed to be on his level. Her standing up here was doing nothing for anyone. Her legs curled underneath her as her body lowered to the sand with a dull thud. The sand enveloped the curvatures and corners of her body rather uncomfortably, but it was worth it. She needed to make sure he was okay, and wouldn't do anything too drastic. Her head reached out and plopped onto the sand, near Oxy, but she tried not to encroach on his space. A sigh escaped her nostrils, send small little dust devils swirling around her mouth.
She glanced up to Oxy, her blue eyes full of support and general care. Something she honestly had not shown in a long time. "And you deserve good too Oxy, but you don't act like you do." She sighed, looking down, slightly cross-eyed at her nose. With another huff of her nose, she blew up tiny particles of sand, trying to think of more words. Words that were not coming to her. "You know you're welcome to talk to me right?" She said, looking back up too him. Maybe he wanted to talk, and maybe he didn't, that was up to him. She just wanted him to know that she was there if he needed her, and she would listen. "But I don't want to leave you here. If you don't want to talk, don't talk. However, I'm not going to leave you here alone. I can always walk you out too if you want..." Her voice trailed off as she waited for him to speak. Sure she may be annoying, and sure she may be a pest, but her intentions were good. She truly wished for the best in everyone.
She crashes down next you, making you groan and grumble with the appearance of irritation, but, truth be told, you're not really that upset anymore. Your heart just isn't in it. All you want is sleep, and darkness, and peace. You want a way to drive away the creeping headache and the few flashes of your past that creep into your mind now and again, when you get a little too out of the moment. You want your blissful peace back- that gentle high that lets you slip through life, lets you repress this history, lets you pretend that you're normal. You want it back because you can't live without it.
As her head reaches out towards you, not too close but there, you feel a gust of her, her sigh, brushing your skin. And if you had a heart, if you were a normal horse on a normal day, you might have enjoyed the sensation, reveled in it, been glad to know that you have a friend in your darkest hours. But you... well, you're a little different. You want to feel that joy, you want to feel that happiness, but you think Kellian might have stolen any capacity you had to feel friendship- to really feel it. Maybe that good luck just isn't in your cards.
But she's doing her best to make you think differently, trying so hard to make you see some good in yourself. But whatever she see is is lost on you. You deserve good? How? Obviously you were never good enough for your father, for your herd, for Kellian, for Eris and Seele, for Circuta, for yourself. You've never been good enough, never will be good enough. So if you don't act like you do, at least you aren't playing some charade. At least you aren't acting like something your not. At least, you've never been good enough for happiness. All you're good for is fighting. A warrior at heart, a warrior through and through. You're good enough to be general, but nothing more.
So when she's done rambling, when she's giving you your options, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, flick your tail through the sand a few times, and finally you speak, slowly, softly, but deliberately. “Listen, Snowflake.” Did you ever really know her name? If you did, it's been thoroughly forgotten by now. “When this is all over, and when we get out of this stupid cave, I'm getting high. I'm going to get so high, that I'm going to lay on the beach for a week and not do anything except laugh at how the sky swirls overhead. And when I'm done doing that, I'm going to stay high. Functionally high. And I'm never going to get sober again. And nobody will ever know this happened.” Your ultimatum to her. Nobody will know that you break down when you're clean. “And if you ever need anyone thrashed, you can come find me.” You hope she'll read between the lines, because that's about as close to calling her a friend as you'll ever get. But hey, it could always be worse.
@[Elsa] :: OMG! Aw, Oxy finally made a friend ;-; Took him long enough!
His response was something she expected, actually making her choke back a little laugh. A small, sparkly laugh escaped her throat from one moment, but she was overall extremely happy with his reaction. As far as she knew, she was all in one piece still. Elsa looked down her left side, then to her right. Yes, she was still completely intact except from the bruises that purpled her chest and shoulders. The one wound that was pulsing by her shoulder could barely be felt. Maybe it was the fact that she now had someone that was like a friend, someone she could lean on, hypothetically of course. After they got out, she did not want to trust him to hold her up all whacko. Yet, she knew he would be fine. Maybe one day he’d let her try this stuff, honestly, she would want to see how she acted. A newbie at such a game might create a scene fit for a comedy.
She lifted her head slightly from the sand, the tiny remnants that stuck to her face fell away. The resemblance was like much of her heart, as little as he probably cared about it, some of the ice there fell away today. It was gone, melted, and all thanks to what most would probably consider a low-life drug lord. Although he offered her thanks, it was she who should be thanking him. Elsa settled down, curling her head to her chest, and flicking an ear towards him. A contented sigh escaped from her mouth as her soft lids closed over her blue eyes. For once since all this started, she felt safe right where she was, and she could tell a restful sleep was ahead. "I promise I won't." She murmured quietly. A few soft breaths rose and fell from her lungs before she added, "Thank you." Her breaths became longer and longer with each passing moment until she was snoring softly. Completely oblivious to the world around her. The only movements were the soft undulation of her breaths, and the occasional dreamy flutter from her wings.
"Talk"
[@[Oxy] d'awwe I loved this thread. <3 they'll have to thread again sometime!!!]
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