EZITAL
Realism [-1.5]
I think you had some really great moments during the fight, like taking the risk of slipping early on, but only doing that because of the dew on the grass which was your fighting terrain - this added some great realism. However I think you need to spend some time studying how horses fight, because there were a few instances, like trying to pounce on Ciceron like a jungle cat and going for his jugular that were jarringly unrealistic. Similarly fog doesn’t muffle your footsteps and I’m unsure about you saying he laid on his belly in that first post? You fell again in your second post with less explanation so it read unnecessary and unlikely (horses do not fall easily, generally) nor did it even read to me as you falling down until Ciceron’s response made me re-read it - you stated you fell in your summary but judges do not read summaries, so do your best to be clear within the 800 word limit.

You also seemed to struggle a bit with translating the dice damage into proper injury, because when you were rolled a critical hit you didn’t sustain enough damage. That you took a kick to the ribs was perfect for that, but you didn’t go on to say how much injury was born of it (mild bruising you seemed to say later) nor did it seem to hinder him as a fighter in any way - that should have been the worst damage possible and I expect a description and injury to go along with it! Similarly when you were electrocuted in the third post with a damage of 5, not only did your description for being electrocuted lack realistic explanation/detail of injury, but it didn’t slow him down at all making what would have been a good injury for a damage of 5 seem too low because of the way you wrote it. You also failed to note Ciceron’s war stomp in that attack making it seem ignored. Lastly in your closing defense you mention Ciceron’s teeth barely missing you but Ciceron was using his horn not his teeth, read carefully!

There was also a time of mild power play in that first post where you declared that Ciceron had his back to you - you can only attempt to say Ciceron’s back is to you since that’s not your character so it’s not your decision to determine how they are placed/will react to your presence. Otherwise though as mentioned nice inclusion of the terrain and I even saw a point where you reared up specifically as a way to overcome Ezital’s short stature, just try to consider more terrain and stat differences into your writing to make it more plausible, and take the time to expand on what you’re doing so it makes more sense and becomes more realistic, as with injuries.


Emotion [+0.5]
There were times when Ezital definitely made me laugh, but more because of his antics and his speech than any emotion he was portraying. Most of the feelings I derived from this fight were limited to just on the surface, never giving me a chance to get to know Ezital better and understand the motives behind all his antics and the real reactions to everything happening to him during the fight.


Prose [+1.5]
Your posts were enjoyable to read, just try to expand more on detail to bring in more imagery to your writing. There were also various regions where the writing was choppy, jumping from one action to the next with minor or no flow.


Readability [+2.5]
Overall well proof-read and easy to read!

P2:
“...difference between them aimed his teeth....” (needs an ‘and’ or comma after “them”)


Finally tally: 36+(3*2)= 42 HP


CICERON
Realism [-1]
Your attack and defense strategies all work rather well realistically, but I think you could benefit from explaining yourself and more thoroughly detailing your sustained injuries. For instance in your first post Ezital slides into you and hurts your hock, but you do not really explain what the injury is aside from it hurt and made you jump forward (and then instantly used that same hurt leg to kick), so for a damage roll of 6 which is very high this did not seem sufficient. I did like seeing you bring up that leg again in the next posts, but it never really inhibits you from fighting. On the opposite spectrum you take a bite in your third post and say it draws blood when you only rolled a damage of 2, so a small bruise would have been more than sufficient and more realistic.

You’d do well to watch your phrasing, there were several instances that I counted as mild power play because you seemed to declare something your opponent was/still was doing when that’s not for you to decide.
“...as long as it hit the poor sucker still laying upon the ground.“ (Ezital could have gotten up by now)
“... filling his mouth with the coppery taste of blood.” (Ezital did not specify that it bled)

In your second post you rolled a 0 damage because Ezital missed, but you wrote it as if Ciceron just stood there and Ezital utterly fell, unable to hit him. True, Ezital did fall, but he also made attacks that should have been responded to, rather than ignored. Just because he missed didn’t mean those attacks weren’t still happening and needing to be accounted for.

Overall really well, just explain yourself more and try to bring in terrain and stat differences to improve the general realism.


Emotion [+1]
There were times when Ciceron had some great one-liners (so much shade thrown!) but otherwise I felt generally cut off from his real emotions and motives. I was only getting the surface layer of his feelings and I’d love to know more about what his reactions were and why. I did like the way you played his companion bond though!


Prose [+2.5]
Your posts are well written, just try to expand your vocabulary and bring in more imagery to help the reader be drawn into the scenes.


Readability [+2.5]
Well proof-read and easy to read, but you had some tense changes here and there and some sentences in need of commas.

P2:
“...a intimidating snarl…” (an)


Finally tally: 50+(5*2)= 60 HP